Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

DCUM women: “Women don’t benefit financially from divorce.”

Also DCUM women: “How come all the older single men are broke AF?”

🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

DP. You can expand your world on more limited budgets. No need to stay in fancy hotels, etc.

I don’t. Airbnb type here. But it’s the rare middle earner who can take four weeks off a year to go away with me- even if I paid for the hotel- the time off, flights, wardrobe, tee times, meals, transportation etc add up.

I bought a direct domestic flight yesterday for March- it was $1100. That’s a lot for just one domestic flight to a man with a limited budget due to CS or fallout from divorce/being a lower earner.

I’d rather continue to travel solo or with other women who have an adventurous streak and can afford to pay their own way than pay for someone else to be my companion. Surely that isn’t that odd a notion?

I've spent 11 weeks over the past 2 years in foreign countries (mostly Asia, a little in Europe). It's not hard, or that expensive.

Also, what domestic flight can cost $1100? Hawaii?

[Anonymous]

No one here is arguing with someone's preference - you haven't found a guy. Some of us aren't as shallow and aren't going to allow some litmus test re: wealth mean we can't enjoy being together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

My dad meets that definition plus he's in shape and good looking. The ideal person for him would be a widow who had a good marriage as divorced women have too much mental baggage.

Agree. A friend who was widowed in her 60s when her husband of 40 years died of cancer met an older widower in a waiting room, hit it off, and married him two years later. He had also been married 40+ years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

90%ile of every age bracket above 45 has NW over $1M.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you were lucky enough to meet several of them. You are are doing well yourself. Why not help them out with ideas how to fix their situation.
I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.
I have met so many losers. There is no way I'm not hanging out with him because of money. He works so hard, which is extremely hot.

If you have a mommy kink, good for you for finding someone who enjoys being taken care of.

Most women (of any age) do not want to finance nearly a thousand dollars a month for a boyfriend (or rather a sugarbaby or is it sugargeriatric?)

What person of means would notice $1000/month?
Thats far far cheaper than a prostitute.
You people that you're taking your gold with you to heaven?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

+1. And I don't want to hear about why I don't take him. Right now I'm planning my 2024 and some 2025 trips. I've got 10 days in Europe with my daughter to go to the Olympics and see Taylor Swift. I'm going on dive vacation with a friend in Nov. The kids and I are going on a cruise in Dec. For 2025, the kids want to go to Greece so I'm planning 4-5 days in Athens and 4-5 days at the beach. I've got a 26-27, trip in the works for 14 days in Bali with the kids on a live aboard and the kids want to go on Safari at some point.

The bigger trips are expensive. I'm responsible for paying for me and my 2 kids. I don't want the additional responsibility of paying for someone else or their kids. My kids are in HS now. Once they are in college either I'll continue to travel with them or I'll go on similar trips with girlfriends that can afford it.

Let’s say you do find a man with the same kind of money as you. I’d be curious to know whether you’d expect him to take you on trips where he pays for your airfare, the hotel, dining etc. Is it a 50/50 deal? I can totally see women with plenty of money still expecting the man to pick up the tab.

My SO and I both have plenty of money and when we travel we split the expenses. We each keep receipts, add them up and divide by two. If I buy something for myself it’s not included in the pot. With normal dining out I pay for every other dinner. We definitely don’t keep score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous...

Good for you!

[Anonymous]

I didn't read the whole thread but if the standard is income of $200K or less is poor you're going to exclude a statistically large percentage of the dating pool. Per the census data in DC only 14% of non-family DC households make the much. I think that's the right measure if you're looking at singles so statistically you're not going to find many people that match up. Not to mention that some of that 14% are the same sex as you or are incompatible with you for other reasons (attraction, values, etc.).

[Anonymous]

I've met women, who date other women, because they can't find a guy. OP, you may want to try that path - seems like a win-win. Money and companionship without the baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look somewhere else. I've heard if you can get into a private school banquet/party they have better pickings. Also the various private athletic clubs. Lots of wealthy divorced men around here IF you know where to look. You won't find them online.

Are you a vulture coach?

I (a woman) have really never met women who operates like this.

But all of my friends are well educated and independent. We don’t judge our male companions by the size of their wallets.

All women operate like this.

Not sure how long you have been a misogynist…but the post you are responding to disputes your claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i didnt know OLD stands for online dating and thought it was a dating app just called 'old' for ppl 45+ and was like - that's depressing.

lol.. me too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

+1. And I don't want to hear about why I don't take him. Right now I'm planning my 2024 and some 2025 trips. I've got 10 days in Europe with my daughter to go to the Olympics and see Taylor Swift. I'm going on dive vacation with a friend in Nov. The kids and I are going on a cruise in Dec. For 2025, the kids want to go to Greece so I'm planning 4-5 days in Athens and 4-5 days at the beach. I've got a 26-27, trip in the works for 14 days in Bali with the kids on a live aboard and the kids want to go on Safari at some point.

The bigger trips are expensive. I'm responsible for paying for me and my 2 kids. I don't want the additional responsibility of paying for someone else or their kids. My kids are in HS now. Once they are in college either I'll continue to travel with them or I'll go on similar trips with girlfriends that can afford it.

Let’s say you do find a man with the same kind of money as you. I’d be curious to know whether you’d expect him to take you on trips where he pays for your airfare, the hotel, dining etc. Is it a 50/50 deal? I can totally see women with plenty of money still expecting the man to pick up the tab.

No. I’d continue to pay for myself. I don’t need or want anyone to support me financially.