Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, you were lucky enough to meet several of them. You are are doing well yourself. Why not help them out with ideas how to fix their situation.
I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.
I have met so many losers. There is no way I'm not hanging out with him because of money. He works so hard, which is extremely hot.

If you have a mommy kink, good for you for finding someone who enjoys being taken care of.

Most women (of any age) do not want to finance nearly a thousand dollars a month for a boyfriend (or rather a sugarbaby or is it sugargeriatric?)

What person of means would notice $1000/month?
Thats far far cheaper than a prostitute.
You people that you're taking your gold with you to heaven?

My extra money will go/does go to my kids. Not some man who can’t pay his way LOL. If D is all I’m after it’s easier to find that on vacation than being that on vacation at a cost. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made out well in my divorce. Got lucky I suppose. I had a good prenup and it saved me. Still lost a lot and don’t recommend marriage to young men, it’s not worth it. I’d be a lot richer if I hadn’t

I do well but I won’t be dating divorced single mothers. Recreational use and not, no commitment. I tend to date younger and more attractive women for the most part. Single divorced mothers carry too much baggage and bitterness. And most younger women love that I’m a single dad.

OP is probably low quality and low value herself so that’s what she attracts. Most women hit a wall at 35 and some sooner. And if you think you deserve a high quality man but have no qualities yourself that attract high value men you’re going to be single for a long time. Most women in this area do not have the qualities high value men want so there is a lot of single women here. But like I mentioned above, most are for recreational use only.

You sound like a real prize and not remotely bitter, not at all.

Whatever. I love this guy. I’m in my forties, mother of five including three teens, daughter to a mom and dad who are aging and need help, doctor with a busy practice, etc.

I love it when he tells me that I am for recreational purposes only. That just sounds so simple and so freeing. It makes me feel like I’m some kind of sexual Buddhist monk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM women: “Women don’t benefit financially from divorce.”

Also DCUM women: “How come all the older single men are broke AF?”

🙄

In many cases, divorce screws up both, so no contradiction here.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

+1. And I don't want to hear about why I don't take him. Right now I'm planning my 2024 and some 2025 trips. I've got 10 days in Europe with my daughter to go to the Olympics and see Taylor Swift. I'm going on dive vacation with a friend in Nov. The kids and I are going on a cruise in Dec. For 2025, the kids want to go to Greece so I'm planning 4-5 days in Athens and 4-5 days at the beach. I've got a 26-27, trip in the works for 14 days in Bali with the kids on a live aboard and the kids want to go on Safari at some point.

The bigger trips are expensive. I'm responsible for paying for me and my 2 kids. I don't want the additional responsibility of paying for someone else or their kids. My kids are in HS now. Once they are in college either I'll continue to travel with them or I'll go on similar trips with girlfriends that can afford it.

What work do you do and what is your yearly take home / salary & such? I admire this & want this for my life!!

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

You expect your wealth to pass to your kids.

You also expect his wealth to pass to you, and not to his kids.

You're just another gold-digger.

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

You expect your wealth to pass to your kids.

You also expect his wealth to pass to you, and not to his kids.

You're just another gold-digger.

Not the PP, but in middle age marriages there could be a mix of individual and joint assets and income streams. If both are earning equally and bought a house, for example, making a downpayment during their marriage, I don’t see why this house should go to kids. A spouse on the title inherits it by law. Same with life insurance or pensions: these assets are typically split between spouse and kids as inheritance, pro-rata the share accumulated during marriage or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

Not sure where you are getting your facts but they are way, way off base. Making $1M in 9 years of working is not a lot and you should have more by now.

People who have less than $1M in retirement often have more than that outside of retirement.

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

You expect your wealth to pass to your kids.

You also expect his wealth to pass to you, and not to his kids.

You're just another gold-digger.

Can you read at all? That is not what this reply says. But just keep seeing what you want to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

You expect your wealth to pass to your kids.

You also expect his wealth to pass to you, and not to his kids.

You're just another gold-digger.

Can you read at all? That is not what this reply says. But just keep seeing what you want to see.

It’s exactly what she means. In fact she’s counting on milking him because she thinks he will die first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM women: “Women don’t benefit financially from divorce.”

Also DCUM women: “How come all the older single men are broke AF?”

🙄

In many cases, divorce screws up both, so no contradiction here.

Well yeah, if you are involved with someone who is divorced, their spouse gets at least half of everything - even more if they have a better attorney. What is the point of getting involved with someone who is divorced? Especially if they have kids, who are inevitably going to hate your guts? Probably in addition to your own kids hating your guts. You think YOUR being with a divorcee is going to be different than everyone else's experience?? Grow up.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

You expect your wealth to pass to your kids.

You also expect his wealth to pass to you, and not to his kids.

You're just another gold-digger.

Can you read at all? That is not what this reply says. But just keep seeing what you want to see.

It’s exactly what she means. In fact she’s counting on milking him because she thinks he will die first.

If men don’t want to be the one who dies first leaving life insurance to a spouse, they should date older women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

90%ile of every age bracket above 45 has NW over $1M.

I don't think so. The median household net worth (and we were discussing retirement funds not net worth) at age 55 is around $110,000, no where close to $1 million. And much of that net worth is in the form of housing, which is not liquid and which can crash in value.

[Anonymous]

It’s crazy how every woman on DCUM is a mini Sheryl Sandberg yet whenever I go on a date with a cute late 20’s chick from Hinge they’re all broke. The only single women I know irl who aren’t broke are the ones who I work with. Never been on a date with a chick under 35 making six figures.

[Anonymous]

gross thread, glad I left DC

[Anonymous]

The ones I’ve dated who aren’t broke were either an alcoholic or a narcissist. I’d rather date broke men because they are at least great in bed!