Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

DP. You can expand your world on more limited budgets. No need to stay in fancy hotels, etc.

I don’t. Airbnb type here. But it’s the rare middle earner who can take four weeks off a year to go away with me- even if I paid for the hotel- the time off, flights, wardrobe, tee times, meals, transportation etc add up.

I bought a direct domestic flight yesterday for March- it was $1100. That’s a lot for just one domestic flight to a man with a limited budget due to CS or fallout from divorce/being a lower earner.

I’d rather continue to travel solo or with other women who have an adventurous streak and can afford to pay their own way than pay for someone else to be my companion. Surely that isn’t that odd a notion?

I’m married but need to meet more independent women. I want in.

Most women I know only want to travel with their husbands or maybe can’t get away.

[Anonymous]

Y'all who claim the government workers are broke are quite ignorant:

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2024/general-schedule

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2023/executive-senior-level

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all who claim the government workers are broke are quite ignorant:

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2024/general-schedule

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2023/executive-senior-level

Max is 200k. That really isn’t a lot at the peak of your career.

I made that fresh out of grad school at age 26.

[Anonymous]

I found a great guy but we were only on the apps for a few weeks before we met. Still going strong over a year later.

Not looking for a husband, not looking for someone with whom to procreate. We already each have our own kid and don’t want more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

That’s me as well and that income makes it very easy to date women in their 20s if you’re still attractive. Own a home in a cool neighborhood. Can afford fun dates and inevitably end up spending less when dating younger than on dates with the type who make a big deal about being a “strong successful badass.”

I don’t really get this.
I’m in my forties and work at an academic hospital. The third year med students are in their mid-twenties, and they seem very young. They are mostly kind and capable young men and women, but I really can’t imagine dating one of them.

Even if it’s comfortable when it’s just the two of you, isn’t it awkward when you want to socialize with friends, either yours or hers?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No, they are not all broke. I personally know a very, very wealthy, very successful man who did on line dating after his divorce. (His ex cheated on him.) He ended up meeting and marrying a woman through friends, but for about a year, he was out there on-line. I was a little surprised to be honest, but it happened.

Yea, I dated a law partner who was making couple million/year, a VP of a large consulting company ($500k/year) and a Fed with good GS-15 salary plus military pension, so probably at 350K annual income. OP is just not attractive to these types

LOL. SES is like 170 and a platinum pension is maybe 75k so far from 300k sweetie. Keep trollin.

I would not consider a divorced fed with likely kids a guy who is well off financially. I’m sure he could afford to take you to Shake shack.

That specific person was a high level official and in fact was taking me to Fiola

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all who claim the government workers are broke are quite ignorant:

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2024/general-schedule

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2023/executive-senior-level

Max is 200k. That really isn’t a lot at the peak of your career.

I made that fresh out of grad school at age 26.

A lot of these feds had free housing and other allowances living abroad, and were able to rent out US properties. End game you have a pension, a 200k salary AND at least 50k passive rental income in your 50s. Gross income over 300k. Easy-peasy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking bc that has been my experience. Met multiple nice good looking men who all have enormous financial liabilities. Either they earn very little or are broke after divorce and are too old to fully recover, or earn well but have huge obligations and/or are cheap AF. It’s a pity bc I’ve really liked several of them, but need someone similarly secure and am not getting into a financial quagmire.

Late 50s male here.

Yours is an interesting perspective but influenced by a small sample size. I’ve met a number of 50s divorced women in the DMV since a pre-COVID and about 1 in 3 are in bad financial straits facing retirement in less than a decade.

I have found dating here easy as I am 6’+, in decent physical shape, own my own home and have a mid- six figures salary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Y'all who claim the government workers are broke are quite ignorant:

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2024/general-schedule

https://www.opm.gov/policy-data-oversight/pay-leave/salaries-wages/2023/executive-senior-level

Max is 200k. That really isn’t a lot at the peak of your career.

I made that fresh out of grad school at age 26.

What grad school , and in which specialty ?

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

My dad meets that definition plus he's in shape and good looking. The ideal person for him would be a widow who had a good marriage as divorced women have too much mental baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wealthy men don’t need OLD to find a date. They are like a flame to moths.

Probably this.

What’s OLD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they are not all broke. I personally know a very, very wealthy, very successful man who did on line dating after his divorce. (His ex cheated on him.) He ended up meeting and marrying a woman through friends, but for about a year, he was out there on-line. I was a little surprised to be honest, but it happened.

Yea, I dated a law partner who was making couple million/year, a VP of a large consulting company ($500k/year) and a Fed with good GS-15 salary plus military pension, so probably at 350K annual income. OP is just not attractive to these types

LOL. SES is like 170 and a platinum pension is maybe 75k so far from 300k sweetie. Keep trollin.

I work for the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) as a SME and I get paid 305K per year because DHS has a special pay scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

Seriously. I’m 47 (f) and my dad is 72. I appreciate the posters advise but get real. I date younger.

The widower advice was in response to the comment "single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering their elderly years".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can't you ladies ever enjoy -some- downscaled experiences? Less elaborate, expensive travel. Less costly entertainment. No one is flexible?

It wears thin. I’m able to expand my world as my kids go off to college- not willing to restrict my options because of limited finances in a partner.

+1. And I don't want to hear about why I don't take him. Right now I'm planning my 2024 and some 2025 trips. I've got 10 days in Europe with my daughter to go to the Olympics and see Taylor Swift. I'm going on dive vacation with a friend in Nov. The kids and I are going on a cruise in Dec. For 2025, the kids want to go to Greece so I'm planning 4-5 days in Athens and 4-5 days at the beach. I've got a 26-27, trip in the works for 14 days in Bali with the kids on a live aboard and the kids want to go on Safari at some point.

The bigger trips are expensive. I'm responsible for paying for me and my 2 kids. I don't want the additional responsibility of paying for someone else or their kids. My kids are in HS now. Once they are in college either I'll continue to travel with them or I'll go on similar trips with girlfriends that can afford it.

Let’s say you do find a man with the same kind of money as you. I’d be curious to know whether you’d expect him to take you on trips where he pays for your airfare, the hotel, dining etc. Is it a 50/50 deal? I can totally see women with plenty of money still expecting the man to pick up the tab.