Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You went wrong marrying a guy who can only get a week of vacation per year. WTF is that?

Lol. This made me giggle 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You went wrong marrying a guy who can only get a week of vacation per year. WTF is that?

Lol. This made me giggle 😂

+1. Your DH sounds lame. What is this ultra-important job that can’t handle him being gone for more than a week, yet also doesn’t pay him enough for you to be a SAHM and take the kids abroad over summer break. Did he even take paternity leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can you be 40 with a 3 year old and think you had your kids "too early"? I was going to say your main issue is that you HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD and it will get better as that child ages, as long as you don't have any more kids. Traveling is one of the big reasons we stopped at two kids. Because we wanted to get back to better traveling sooner, and also because traveling is just easier with 4 people instead of 5.

I had my first at 27 and second at 33. I’m now 36 and done.

When we were kid free we didn’t have money or vacation time for big trips. And now we can take off 2 weeks but logistics of having a small child get in the way of big trips. Some of our friends just started to have kids at 34-35 and had time to travel in late 20s and early 30s.

Some of the friends starting to have kids at 34-35 would have preferred to start earlier.

[Anonymous]

I’m another person saying “it’s a season of life”. It will start to get easier when your youngest is about 5 or 6.

I’ve been there. There was a very specific trip I wanted to take when my kids were 3.5 and 1 and we just couldn’t swing it. The timing was terrible for me to go solo and the cost of 4 people plus the thought of wrangling the kids made it a non-starter for our whole family. Yet, a friend made the trip with her two year old. Some kids are easier to travel with, some families have a bigger travel budget. It’s just the way it is.

I keep a running list of local places we want to go and ideas of places in the 2-3 hours away range for the occasional weekend trip. We may not be a family that travels internationally, but we still explore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are still young. What I did was branch out in stages with each trip getting a little bit more challenging. What you’ve done already is impressive for having a three-year-old.

Maybe go to Latin America next? That seems like the most doable thing on your wish list.

I find Facebook groups to be a great source of travel ideas and practical solutions. You could look for one that discusses international travel with small kids.

Through elementary school, I didn’t think it was a big deal to take my kids out of school for travel. Your husbands work limitations are challenging. Maybe he can work remotely during part of your longer trips?

I disagree. Traveling to Latin America with young’s kids will mostly mean staying in resorts. You have to be careful of which water you drink. Going native is way more dangerous and difficult with young kids.

I would look at Asia, esp Tokyo and Korea next and then Australia and New Zealand. Hawaii and pacific islands. Etc.

With inflight movies and school age kids long flights are really no longer an issue.

[Anonymous]

There is so much to see in the US while the kids are younger. Then, when they are older and you are both more established at work you can go further. I see more families traveling abroad when kids are in college or recent grads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been passionate about international travel since I first won a scholarship for a summer abroad program in high school. I chose my college based on the study abroad options. I met my husband while studying abroad and we shared our dreams of exploring the entire world.

Then, after college, both of us took intense jobs since we had no money. We could only take one longer trip a year, and only for a week at a time, so we stuck to different European countries.

Then I had my first kid and switched to an easier job. I got to travel more, but again stuck to US/Caribbean/Europe because DH couldn't take off longer than a week and I thought going to Asia, Africa, etc with a small child by myself would be too hard. Then, kid got older and we had kid #2. Now DH is exhausted and barely wants to travel at all, Kid #1 is in school and we don't want to pull her out too much, kid #2 is a cranky threenager, and I am pushing 40 and have still never been anywhere in Asia, Australia/NZ, Africa, or Latin America.

We don't have anyone to watch the younger one overnight, so we can't travel without her. My DH is occasionally willing to watch both kids so I can go somewhere, but again, for just 5-6 days max. Plus, 2-3 week trips to far flung places with a whole family are so expensive, esp since our kids need a separate room or they won't sleep.

I am feeling like I messed up my life somehow...maybe by having kids too early or not just being a SAHM with total flexibility, or I don't know what. I really, really want to see the world before I get old. Any advice?

I traveled extensively, alone and with a spouse, with our 3 children. We usually based ourselves wherever my husband could work remotely for a few years at a time. My kids went to schools in europe and we moved back to DC during our oldest's
sophomore year of HS; it was no problem. My daughter was born in Germany.

It sounds like you are just making a lot of excuses. That's how you get to be on your deathbed and have regrets. We live how we want, I don't care if people tell me we can't take the kids out of school or it's bad for them. It's not. Our oldest son is in his freshman year at a college in the US and doing extremely well. Our other children are in APs in their schools.

[Anonymous]

I meant to add, we have slowed down our travels during the COVID era. We moved back to DC in 2020 at the hight of the pandemic and bought a beach house too. Our last extensive trip was in 2021. We mostly have been enjoying splitting our time between DC and the beach, but we are contemplating moving back to Germany this summer. We shall see!

[Anonymous]

Our kids are in middle and late elementary, and we recently made a plan for travel until the oldest graduates. We are alternating years of doing a trip abroad and doing a domestic trip. The abroad trips are most likely one or two European countries one year, Argentina, and Japan. US trips will likely be the Southwest and Northwest. We have spent time in Canada, the Western mountains and the Northeast already.

Anyway, that was the only way to not let time slip by.

[Anonymous]

This is the time in your life where you travel domestically. You go to Disney, take a cruise, national parks. In about 10-15 years you can embark on your dream travel, until then chill out you are where you're supposed to be right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You went wrong marrying a guy who can only get a week of vacation per year. WTF is that?

Lol. This made me giggle 😂

+1. Your DH sounds lame. What is this ultra-important job that can’t handle him being gone for more than a week, yet also doesn’t pay him enough for you to be a SAHM and take the kids abroad over summer break. Did he even take paternity leave?

I am a nurse at the main NoVa hospital system. I am not allowed more than week off during summer months. I can only take time off during summer and spring break for family vacations bc my kids are older. I guess I am lame and my DH is a loser for marrying me. :roll:

[Anonymous]

OP, we merge our vacations with holidays to maximize the length of our trips and minimize the number of school days the kids miss and our need to use vacation days.

Look at X-mas 2024, for instance. With the way the holidays fall, we'll be able to take a long trip with the kids missing zero school days. We'll go somewhere where Christmas isn't a major holiday so things will stay open.

Your 3 yo will be closer to 4 yo by them and big enough to watch TV on a flight. Look for somewhere with a direct flight and where you can rent a 1 bedroom apartment so your 3 yo can have his own space to sleep. There are options. Go and enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You went wrong marrying a guy who can only get a week of vacation per year. WTF is that?

Lol. This made me giggle 😂

+1. Your DH sounds lame. What is this ultra-important job that can’t handle him being gone for more than a week, yet also doesn’t pay him enough for you to be a SAHM and take the kids abroad over summer break. Did he even take paternity leave?

I am a nurse at the main NoVa hospital system. I am not allowed more than week off during summer months. I can only take time off during summer and spring break for family vacations bc my kids are older. I guess I am lame and my DH is a loser for marrying me. :roll:

There are lots of other nursing jobs. I'd start looking for other options.

[Anonymous]

We didn't have kids until early 40s, so we had a good 15 years of traveling as DINKS. Now in our early 60s, we are free again.

We spent the kids years at theme parks, cruising, camping, Cape Cod cottages, etc.