Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s see:
Study abroad experience: check
Wanting to “explore” the “entire world”: check
“Passionate”: check
Namechecking every place you’ve ever been: check

OP, you forgot to mention your “WANDERLUST” and how you just LOVE TO WANDER. You forgot to mention the LOCAL CUISINE and all the HIDDEN GEMS and how you just FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CULTURE and how a small family in Spain just MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE PART OF THE FAMILY.

You personally invented PEOPLE WATCHING AT CAFES, so I’m surprised you failed to mention that, too.

This is a little weird. It seems like you maybe hate travel, but then why are you on a travel forum? I don’t really do people watching, I like to go to museums and I’m a big history nerd. Also love exploring cities on foot, as well as exploring nature. I do like to try authentic food in different countries, not sure why this is bad? I’m a bit of an introvert so usually I don’t meet locals or become “part of a family” but it is fun to visit friends who live somewhere interesting and getting their perspective of a place.

I know travel can be kind of a flex on social media, but I fell in love with traveling long before social media existed. I don’t even have social media now. I quit a while back.

[Anonymous]

First: it’s certainly not too late! Second: lot just may not be the right phase of life for much travel. Third: cranky teens are no fun wherever they are!

México has a lot of amazing places beyond Cancun. A trip to Mexico City can be a lot of fun. San Miguel Allende is support to be amazing.

We loved Costa Rico. Yes, touristy but so fun. And if you focus on one region you can do it in a week.

London also can be a week trip and plenty to do in a fully week there. Rome too.

And it sounds like your kids are close to college age? That opens up a lot of possibilities.

Plus, if your DH has a high pressure job, perhaps he”LL want an early retirement? Plan to rent your house out for a year and travel the world then. Many people still feel great in their 60s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s see:
Study abroad experience: check
Wanting to “explore” the “entire world”: check
“Passionate”: check
Namechecking every place you’ve ever been: check

OP, you forgot to mention your “WANDERLUST” and how you just LOVE TO WANDER. You forgot to mention the LOCAL CUISINE and all the HIDDEN GEMS and how you just FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CULTURE and how a small family in Spain just MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE PART OF THE FAMILY.

You personally invented PEOPLE WATCHING AT CAFES, so I’m surprised you failed to mention that, too.

LMAO. I love this. Dead on!

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel any better, I traveled all over the world in my 20s. Asia, South America, Africa, Middle East, so many places.

In retrospect, I wished that I focused more on finding a suitable husband and starting a family. Fortunately it all worked out, but my opinion is that travel can easily be overrated.

However, I can understand your feelings of missing out. I think your best bet is taking a few shorter trips solo or just with DH if you can figure out childcare. Personally I would not be able to leave my small kids, but most people can and I think you would feel more at peace.

[Anonymous]

OP "travel" is just a thing you can do. It's not your family or your support system.
You can definitely travel after the kids are older, life is not a competition.

I was able to travel some, but unable to have kids. Would you prefer my life?

[Anonymous]

You can travel without going to far flung places. A week in Europe is still pretty cool by most standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How can you be 40 with a 3 year old and think you had your kids "too early"? I was going to say your main issue is that you HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD and it will get better as that child ages, as long as you don't have any more kids. Traveling is one of the big reasons we stopped at two kids. Because we wanted to get back to better traveling sooner, and also because traveling is just easier with 4 people instead of 5.

I had my first at 27 and second at 33. I’m now 36 and done.

When we were kid free we didn’t have money or vacation time for big trips. And now we can take off 2 weeks but logistics of having a small child get in the way of big trips. Some of our friends just started to have kids at 34-35 and had time to travel in late 20s and early 30s.

We had our kids youngish and now at 44 we have a tween and teen and plenty of money. Traveling now is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where you went wrong is you should have done this when you were young and broke, right after college. This is why young people backpack and hostel around the world, scraping up whatever funds they can. You could have figured this out—lots of people do—but you didn’t have parents in the know who encouraged you to do this while you had the freedom—instead you marched straight into your responsible adult lives.

I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to make this mistake again. You can figure this out if you really want to.

You can keep

Yes this is totally true. Immigrant mindset did not really leave room for this concept. I will be sure to teach my own kids to take advantage of those years!

+2

[Anonymous]

We switched to traveling more in the U.S. when the kids were young. There are so many places to see and things to do and it is easier and cheaper. Then as they got older we started going international again.

[Anonymous]

You still have so much time op! Join traveling with kids worldwide on Facebook. It is so inspiring. Then start mapping out trips for different ages and make it happen

[Anonymous]

Hire a nanny to watch the younger kid for a few weeks. Or wait a few years when she is more self sufficient.
Even my useless ex is capable of taking care of our young teen for 2-6 weeks if I need to go visit my elderly dad on the other side of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this just isn’t the time of life for this. When you were young you couldn’t yet picture these challenges of work and parenting, but now you do. Your kids will grow, and travel together will be a great experience when they are older.

OP here. You're probably right, but I just think of all those families on social media who travel together all over the world with kids of all ages. The messaging there (whether we are talking about influences or just real families in mommy travel groups) is "Anyone can travel anywhere with kids if you just want it bad enough". I guess I was stupid to fall for it.

You do seem rather dumb OP.

This has got to be the same OP who was saying how society tricked her into getting married and having three kids before she was 30

Social media is not real life. It's not real life! That said you can absolutely find ways to travel if it's a priority - it just means giving up other things. That's life for most of us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it makes you feel any better, I traveled all over the world in my 20s. Asia, South America, Africa, Middle East, so many places.

In retrospect, I wished that I focused more on finding a suitable husband and starting a family. Fortunately it all worked out, but my opinion is that travel can easily be overrated.

However, I can understand your feelings of missing out. I think your best bet is taking a few shorter trips solo or just with DH if you can figure out childcare. Personally I would not be able to leave my small kids, but most people can and I think you would feel more at peace.

I did the same - spent every penny and then some up through my early/mid 30s. I don't wish I'd been husband hunting then - but I do wish I'd saved for retirement.

ANYWAY - it's easy to notice what you're missing. Life is suffering!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s see:
Study abroad experience: check
Wanting to “explore” the “entire world”: check
“Passionate”: check
Namechecking every place you’ve ever been: check

OP, you forgot to mention your “WANDERLUST” and how you just LOVE TO WANDER. You forgot to mention the LOCAL CUISINE and all the HIDDEN GEMS and how you just FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CULTURE and how a small family in Spain just MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE PART OF THE FAMILY.

You personally invented PEOPLE WATCHING AT CAFES, so I’m surprised you failed to mention that, too.

LMAO. I love this. Dead on!

+1
Funniest of all time on the Travel forum was the “show up in a village” [with my kids] poster. lol!
Chicken Bus Lady a very close 2nd. Brava, ladies!

[Anonymous]

If you wanted to prioritize travel you would have done it pre kids. No one had any money then. I took a year out before college and worked in a warehouse to earn enough to backpack for 6 months living on $10 a day. After college I took jobs that paid less but allowed more vacation to travel. I did a post-grad abroad. Then I took a job in another country. I took a break and only traveled to see family until our youngest was around 6, but since then we have traveled all over Europe, Asia, and Central America. We spend about 15 or 20 percent of our income on travel.

You can do whatever you want in this life. You just have to be willing to pay the price. In my case it is living in a smaller house, and delaying retirement. But I speak five languages and have visited over 60 countries, and would rather have had those experiences than a fatter 401k balance.