Wanted to travel a lot with family, where did I go wrong?

[Anonymous]

When I was younger, I traveled when I was changing jobs and could take multiple weeks. Then I waited until my kid was old enough to really participate which was at about 6 y.o.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this just isn’t the time of life for this. When you were young you couldn’t yet picture these challenges of work and parenting, but now you do. Your kids will grow, and travel together will be a great experience when they are older.

OP here. You're probably right, but I just think of all those families on social media who travel together all over the world with kids of all ages. The messaging there (whether we are talking about influences or just real families in mommy travel groups) is "Anyone can travel anywhere with kids if you just want it bad enough". I guess I was stupid to fall for it.

You do seem rather dumb OP.

[Anonymous]

OP it will be a LOT easier in a decade when the kids are older.
I’m also wondering how much of “I am a True World Traveler” you made your personality/identity, and if that’s part of the problem here. You would not be the first running into this.

[Anonymous]

Travel is fine and dandy, but it’s not everything. Are your kids healthy and happy, is there food on the table, roof over your head, sun came up today??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this just isn’t the time of life for this. When you were young you couldn’t yet picture these challenges of work and parenting, but now you do. Your kids will grow, and travel together will be a great experience when they are older.

OP here. You're probably right, but I just think of all those families on social media who travel together all over the world with kids of all ages. The messaging there (whether we are talking about influences or just real families in mommy travel groups) is "Anyone can travel anywhere with kids if you just want it bad enough". I guess I was stupid to fall for it.

You do seem rather dumb OP.

Yes, how dumb to post on a family travel forum asking for advice on how to achieve family travel goals.

[Anonymous]

Agree with everyone this isn't the season of life. I did travel with DH pre-kids but we were dual-attorney DINKs with a disposable income. That's not everyone. However, we were also struggling with infertility which no one who saw our "fabulous travels" would know.

Now we have young kids and are just starting to take flying vacations. Part of it is you have to embrace this season and some destinations that aren't "bucket list amazing" are still fun/enjoyable and a change of scenery and fun to experience through their eyes.

Agree with others that central America is the most accessible - short flights that are manageable with kids and for a one week trip.

Also agree that costs of flying as a family of four / being limited to school vacations when travel costs are highest is limiting. You and DH can talk about an occasional trip that pulls them out of school for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, this just isn’t the time of life for this. When you were young you couldn’t yet picture these challenges of work and parenting, but now you do. Your kids will grow, and travel together will be a great experience when they are older.

OP here. You're probably right, but I just think of all those families on social media who travel together all over the world with kids of all ages. The messaging there (whether we are talking about influences or just real families in mommy travel groups) is "Anyone can travel anywhere with kids if you just want it bad enough". I guess I was stupid to fall for it.

You do seem rather dumb OP.

Yes, how dumb to post on a family travel forum asking for advice on how to achieve family travel goals.

Because it's pretty much common sense.

If you don't have a ton of money, you can't travel that much.

If you have kids who are in school, and you don't want to pull them out, you can't travel that much.

If you have a spouse who doesn't have a lot of PTO, you can't travel that much, at least with your spouse.

So, common sense tells you that you have to wait until:

You have enough money
Your kids are out of the house
Your spouse has more time off

[Anonymous]

You didn't do anything wrong except you have a bad attitude - you have kids and will have to structure some travel around their timing and ages for now. but I'm 52 now and an empty nester and we are taking more trips without the kids. That said, some of our best trips were with the kids - even though we didn't see as much or do the exact things I would have done if we were alone. Just fix your attitude and find some trips that you and the kids would enjoy.

Agree with South and Central American locations- my kids loved Costa Rica and Galapagos and Panama City. Then branch out.

We also still haven't traveled to Asia due to limitations you mentioned but hoping to do so in the next 5 years.

[Anonymous]

I know a family with young kids who went to Latin America for a summer, and people who go to Europe every winter break. But mostly, I know adults who travel widely - often for months at a time - after their kids are launched. One is in his late 50s and just spent 5 months in Australia before returning to work. You can figure it out with work easier than with school/kids.

[Anonymous]

Let’s see:
Study abroad experience: check
Wanting to “explore” the “entire world”: check
“Passionate”: check
Namechecking every place you’ve ever been: check

OP, you forgot to mention your “WANDERLUST” and how you just LOVE TO WANDER. You forgot to mention the LOCAL CUISINE and all the HIDDEN GEMS and how you just FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CULTURE and how a small family in Spain just MADE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE PART OF THE FAMILY.

You personally invented PEOPLE WATCHING AT CAFES, so I’m surprised you failed to mention that, too.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all the responses. But your kids are so young- you’ve got tons of time! I feel like I haven’t traveled with my kids nearly as much as I wanted (& covid didn’t help), and now my oldest is in high school. So not much time left with everyone living at home. .

However, DH & I still go on trips with our parents (& our kids).

Some suggestions:
-expand your view of what counts as travel… it doesn’t need to be a far flung continent to be interesting & fun. Most people never have the time & money to travel to expensive locations for weeks at a time. Embrace road trips, long weekends, camping, even day trips in addition to longer travel
-your kids don’t need a separate room. Keep things simple & low maintenance. We took our kids on lots of trips as toddlers (including long flights, hours in art museums, etc), and of course there were hard times, but totally worth it. No second room. Just go- don’t wait until kids are the “perfect” age— no such thing.
-it’s fine for a young kid to miss some school for travel, so do it now. It gets much harder/impossible as they get into middle & high school.
-travel as much as you can now & in the next few years — teenagers have sports, activities, school that they often cannot or will not miss for family travel.

[Anonymous]

How can you be 40 with a 3 year old and think you had your kids "too early"? I was going to say your main issue is that you HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD and it will get better as that child ages, as long as you don't have any more kids. Traveling is one of the big reasons we stopped at two kids. Because we wanted to get back to better traveling sooner, and also because traveling is just easier with 4 people instead of 5.

[Anonymous]

Where you went wrong is you should have done this when you were young and broke, right after college. This is why young people backpack and hostel around the world, scraping up whatever funds they can. You could have figured this out—lots of people do—but you didn’t have parents in the know who encouraged you to do this while you had the freedom—instead you marched straight into your responsible adult lives.

I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to make this mistake again. You can figure this out if you really want to.

You can keep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you be 40 with a 3 year old and think you had your kids "too early"? I was going to say your main issue is that you HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD and it will get better as that child ages, as long as you don't have any more kids. Traveling is one of the big reasons we stopped at two kids. Because we wanted to get back to better traveling sooner, and also because traveling is just easier with 4 people instead of 5.

I had my first at 27 and second at 33. I’m now 36 and done.

When we were kid free we didn’t have money or vacation time for big trips. And now we can take off 2 weeks but logistics of having a small child get in the way of big trips. Some of our friends just started to have kids at 34-35 and had time to travel in late 20s and early 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where you went wrong is you should have done this when you were young and broke, right after college. This is why young people backpack and hostel around the world, scraping up whatever funds they can. You could have figured this out—lots of people do—but you didn’t have parents in the know who encouraged you to do this while you had the freedom—instead you marched straight into your responsible adult lives.

I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to make this mistake again. You can figure this out if you really want to.

You can keep

Yes this is totally true. Immigrant mindset did not really leave room for this concept. I will be sure to teach my own kids to take advantage of those years!