Husband offering to help another woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get up and leave the room, the house, the restaurant.

And then you explain your boundaries.

And if they are crossed again, you leave. No bluffing

OP has already threatened to leave and husbsnd encouraged her to do so. What now?

This is the “you teach people how to treat you” poster. There is no action OP can take now to rectify this. The situation is already too far gone. I agree with the poster above that said you set boundaries, and if they are crossed, you need to be gone. OP indicated her boundaries but she never enforced them. She had one shot and one shot only on this. She needed to be gone when he pulled this garbage the second time. But now he’s doing it for the many hundredth, so one can see why this is beyond the point of no return.

I’ve been there, OP. I really have. It’s not your fault he’s doing this, it was HIS decision to cross your boundary after you laid it out. But it’s YOUR responsibility to decide whether you’re going to do anything about the hurt he is causing. If you stay, stay with the knowledge and acceptance that the respect is gone. But it was likely was never there in the first place.

I hope you find your way. There’s a great book out there called “Why Men Love Bi&$%*s.” It has a lot of really, really valuable advice. Nothing changed for me in my love life until I really took the concepts to heart. Unfortunately, it’s too late to start implementing them with your husband. But it’s not too late with the next man.

Op here,
If you have gone through the same thing, have you stayed in your marriage or left?
There was respect, then it faded out over the last few years.
There are few reason I cant really get separated right now…

The poor treatment I experienced in the relationships i referenced were from boyfriends, OP, not my husband. I’m married to a wonderful man but it took a very long time to find him. I didn’t marry until my mid 30s and for a long time thought I would be single forever because I went through a period of knowing and enforcing my boundaries early on in dating and relationships, and this weeded out all but the very best.

[Anonymous]

I really wouldn’t care if my DH helped another woman out. I’m not the jealous type.
That being said, I know he wouldn’t. He sets very clear a direct boundaries with other woman, which I find incredibly hot.

[Anonymous]

OP, work on yourself and stop projecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get up and leave the room, the house, the restaurant.

And then you explain your boundaries.

And if they are crossed again, you leave. No bluffing

OP has already threatened to leave and husbsnd encouraged her to do so. What now?

This is the “you teach people how to treat you” poster. There is no action OP can take now to rectify this. The situation is already too far gone. I agree with the poster above that said you set boundaries, and if they are crossed, you need to be gone. OP indicated her boundaries but she never enforced them. She had one shot and one shot only on this. She needed to be gone when he pulled this garbage the second time. But now he’s doing it for the many hundredth, so one can see why this is beyond the point of no return.

I’ve been there, OP. I really have. It’s not your fault he’s doing this, it was HIS decision to cross your boundary after you laid it out. But it’s YOUR responsibility to decide whether you’re going to do anything about the hurt he is causing. If you stay, stay with the knowledge and acceptance that the respect is gone. But it was likely was never there in the first place.

I hope you find your way. There’s a great book out there called “Why Men Love Bi&$%*s.” It has a lot of really, really valuable advice. Nothing changed for me in my love life until I really took the concepts to heart. Unfortunately, it’s too late to start implementing them with your husband. But it’s not too late with the next man.

Op here,
If you have gone through the same thing, have you stayed in your marriage or left?
There was respect, then it faded out over the last few years.
There are few reason I cant really get separated right now…

The poor treatment I experienced in the relationships i referenced were from boyfriends, OP, not my husband. I’m married to a wonderful man but it took a very long time to find him. I didn’t marry until my mid 30s and for a long time thought I would be single forever because I went through a period of knowing and enforcing my boundaries early on in dating and relationships, and this weeded out all but the very best.

Thats really awesome - very nice-

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really wouldn’t care if my DH helped another woman out. I’m not the jealous type.
That being said, I know he wouldn’t. He sets very clear a direct boundaries with other woman, which I find incredibly hot.

Op here mine works and helps other female friends out too / but these 2 have an attraction for each other and my husband sets no boundaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get up and leave the room, the house, the restaurant.

And then you explain your boundaries.

And if they are crossed again, you leave. No bluffing

OP has already threatened to leave and husbsnd encouraged her to do so. What now?

This is the “you teach people how to treat you” poster. There is no action OP can take now to rectify this. The situation is already too far gone. I agree with the poster above that said you set boundaries, and if they are crossed, you need to be gone. OP indicated her boundaries but she never enforced them. She had one shot and one shot only on this. She needed to be gone when he pulled this garbage the second time. But now he’s doing it for the many hundredth, so one can see why this is beyond the point of no return.

I’ve been there, OP. I really have. It’s not your fault he’s doing this, it was HIS decision to cross your boundary after you laid it out. But it’s YOUR responsibility to decide whether you’re going to do anything about the hurt he is causing. If you stay, stay with the knowledge and acceptance that the respect is gone. But it was likely was never there in the first place.

I hope you find your way. There’s a great book out there called “Why Men Love Bi&$%*s.” It has a lot of really, really valuable advice. Nothing changed for me in my love life until I really took the concepts to heart. Unfortunately, it’s too late to start implementing them with your husband. But it’s not too late with the next man.

Op here,
If you have gone through the same thing, have you stayed in your marriage or left?
There was respect, then it faded out over the last few years.
There are few reason I cant really get separated right now…

OP, what is your circumstance as to why separation is not an option? Maybe people here can offer advice or suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really wouldn’t care if my DH helped another woman out. I’m not the jealous type.
That being said, I know he wouldn’t. He sets very clear a direct boundaries with other woman, which I find incredibly hot.

[Anonymous]

Even if he doesn’t have start a physical affair, your marriage is on shaky ground as you describe it. Trust isn’t there.

I wish you well in navigating this situation.

[Anonymous]

Op here
Lots of interlocking family dynamics that would make people from both his and my wide helpless should we separate.
My job also isn’t like his- its lot less pay, this is one of the reasons he has begun to disrespect.
I am taking some cues from the posts here- its true I have been a doormat and been visibly disrespected over everything in the last few years, and I have not done anything about it.
Boundaries needed to happen at the beginning.



Setting boundaries

[Anonymous]

*side
sorry typo.

[Anonymous]

Why would people be helpless based on your relationship status? Thats absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would people be helpless based on your relationship status? Thats absurd.

We both help each other’s family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would people be helpless based on your relationship status? Thats absurd.

We both help each other’s family.

So with less time taking care of each others family, you would each continue to take care of your own. 2/2 = 1, 1/1 =1. Net neutral.