Husband offering to help another woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should talk to him, but it cannot come off as accusatory. More like: DH, we have been through so much and I love you so much even though I know sometimes things are very hard. I want to bring something up that is deeply distressing to me; I trust you and your commitment to our family, but it’s so hard to watch you around X. It’s so clear that you have chemistry; I’d be an idiot to not see that. I know you haven’t acted on it by any means in an inappropriate way, but I get so scared thinking what may happen if she gets a chance to work with you and see you every single day, spend more time with you than sometimes I would get to, because I know she must see what a good man you are. I don’t know the right solution for my anxiety about this, but I wanted to be honest with you and that it’s hurting me right now.

This is good - I may try this.
Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you seem remarkably unperturbed by all of this. Did those prior "ups and downs" involve you and another man, so now you can't claim the moral high ground? Sounds like it.

No I have never cheated, not looked at another man / flirt/ etc I would never do that because: I am married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see what you are saying- as in the proximity will make it happen but then I think you already know that they are going to end up together and your marriage is doomed. You should get your ducks in a row and maybe do counseling with your husband- he might not even realize that he is going to end up with his 'friend' yet. Why didnt you cold shoulder this woman from the get go though? Maybe she doesnt want your used husband though- you think he's the bees knees with a 15 year old, she might find that too much baggage. Inserting someone into your life like that is just stupid- you ned to figure out a way to drop the woman and strengthen your own relationship but sometimes, you are the starter marriage and they are soulmates. it boggles the mind when Americans have these unrealistic expectations of sexual behavior- human beings are mammals like horses/lion/bulls- monogamous loving like birds is hard for mammals and pretending any different without being wary and careful when the need arises is naive.

I cant avoid her, they are family friends.

No they are not talking l/ texting outside our get togethers.

Then you talk to her during your get togethers.

Meanwhile, get your finances sorted. If he’s looking there’s a good chance he’ll cheat with her or someone else.

Talk to her about her love life, how she’s such a great catch, how there must be so many single/divorced guys who are probably falling all over her. Secretly confide in her and your DH that you have a huge girl crush on her. If she’s so great, all this might even be true? Get your DH involved in the find-a-guy effort. At the very least they will both have to face the fact that your DH should not be her Plan A.

File under the “hold your friends close, your enemies closer” file.

This. Divorced women interested in your DH are not your friend, OP.

[Anonymous]

Op, she does sound dangerous. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

If she gets a job there she will definitely “owe” him. If they car pool the rides home could be very long.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, sorry OP. Nothing you can really do; can't control other people. Just protect yourself in case things go south.

[Anonymous]

Tell him that it looks like she has a crush on him and it is making you uncomfortable.

If he nips it in the bud, you can continue working on your marriage. If he doesn't, divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him that it looks like she has a crush on him and it is making you uncomfortable.

If he nips it in the bud, you can continue working on your marriage. If he doesn't, divorce.

Or stay married for convenience but build your own social and romantic life without him.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you preempt him and start an affair with this woman?

[Anonymous]

Tell someone you know at the company that it would be an HR disaster if that woman works with your husband

[Anonymous]

Is your husband a generally attractive person to hat younger crowd? The single women already at his office might already in a flirting relationship with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you preempt him and start an affair with this woman?

It's not gay if it's a 3-way

[Anonymous]

If he’s helping her get “an entry level position” you know what he has in mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell someone you know at the company that it would be an HR disaster if that woman works with your husband

Nah - anyone destructive to the marriage has to be addressed at the source. HR, in this case, is not the source.

[Anonymous]

Where is this flirting and teasing happening?
Just the 3 of you, or at group events? Ask other people what they think of her and DH.
Why do you hang out with this rando so often?