Is this petty to tell costs to a date?

[Anonymous]

This sounds more like a friendship or something between dating. If I want to go to a concert with a friend I’ll text them and give them the ticket prices so we can both decide if we want to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds more like a friendship or something between dating. If I want to go to a concert with a friend I’ll text them and give them the ticket prices so we can both decide if we want to go.

OP here: yes it did send me “you are my friend” signal. Not sure even if I want sex anymore. I actually already texted him saying I’m busy this weekend, but happy to invite him to a Friday concert. Maybe remaining friends to go out sometimes splitting costs is the best. We don’t need to be sexual or romantic.

[Anonymous]

He's being cheap. I do not like that personality type, so I'd move the hell on for sure. Would have done so after that text. It's clearly bothering you as well or you wouldn't have posted. I say just move on. Plenty of other men in the world to have sex with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

Guy’s perspective: if you expect him to pay for everything in the early phases of your dating, then you’re treating it like a transaction. So I hope you’d sleep with him if a guy does pay for you. No down payment on future possibility, if you want him to pay 100% you need to offer something in return beyond your sweet smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

Guy’s perspective: if you expect him to pay for everything in the early phases of your dating, then you’re treating it like a transaction. So I hope you’d sleep with him if a guy does pay for you. No down payment on future possibility, if you want him to pay 100% you need to offer something in return beyond your sweet smile.

OP here: you didn’t read the whole thread- I already slept with him AND was reciprocating paying for some dates . But when someone texts me the cost of drinks it’s very petty, so I’m no longer interested in him romantically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

Guy’s perspective: if you expect him to pay for everything in the early phases of your dating, then you’re treating it like a transaction. So I hope you’d sleep with him if a guy does pay for you. No down payment on future possibility, if you want him to pay 100% you need to offer something in return beyond your sweet smile.

OP here: you didn’t read the whole thread- I already slept with him AND was reciprocating paying for some dates . But when someone texts me the cost of drinks it’s very petty, so I’m no longer interested in him romantically.

I friend zoned him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A man I started dating would text me tickets prices for a show we consider. Casually, like “tickets chat $X and $Y for drinks, so give it a thought”. First, I would split but not that early in a relationship as we are not exclusive. I see him active on OLD and so I am. Second, it’s a turn off for me romantically as I’m at point of my career and life where this price is very low and not worthy discussing. I just pay when I invite my girlfriends. I probably make more than him, but he’s high level in his career as well and certainly has better pension and medical insurance. I work longer hours.

Sexual attraction is there, he’s very handsome. But Im not feeling romantic about him, it’s just a mental turn off that doesn’t allow relationship to grow. Shall I offer him to be a FWB, and both keep looking ? Explain why or just say I’m not feeling that ?

Guy’s perspective: if you expect him to pay for everything in the early phases of your dating, then you’re treating it like a transaction. So I hope you’d sleep with him if a guy does pay for you. No down payment on future possibility, if you want him to pay 100% you need to offer something in return beyond your sweet smile.

OP here: you didn’t read the whole thread- I already slept with him AND was reciprocating paying for some dates . But when someone texts me the cost of drinks it’s very petty, so I’m no longer interested in him romantically.

PP. I did skim through all of it but went back to the beginning. I think you’re doing the right thing because he seems petty and too self focused. I wrote the above because the statement you made earlier came across as shallow so I was trying to turn it around for a situation where the guy WAS paying for everything, and would you feel you owed him something in return? Maybe I’m sensitive to this because I’m the kind of person who would be happy to pay for things but I’m not hot enough for a woman to want to sleep with me that soon, so am conscious of the dynamic I thought I heard from you. Or maybe I’m just jealous of a guy who isn’t keeping up his end but is still getting a hot woman to sleep with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sort of sounds like a leftover habit from a marriage/long term relationship.

This. Or perhaps he has serious financial woes you’re unaware of.

[Anonymous]

Yes, he should pick up the tab. If he can’t, he shouldn’t be dating. Sorry, I’m old school

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he wants you to pay and you don’t want to pay and find that being asked to pay is a dealbreaker.

Perhaps you aren’t meant for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the nutty Eastern European woman who posts frequently about her dating life. She is divorced, in her 40s, with a son, and apparently is worth millions, speaks 5 languages, is thin and beautiful, but her dating life is a dumpster fire because she likes to bang and does so quite quickly, but also wants to be treated like an old-fashioned lady. Her actions and her expectations don't match up, so she is perpetually frustrated.

What's her number?

Hey, that's me, but I'm not the OP.
OP, he is that special kind of cheapo. You got to like his silliness about money or it won't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the nutty Eastern European woman who posts frequently about her dating life. She is divorced, in her 40s, with a son, and apparently is worth millions, speaks 5 languages, is thin and beautiful, but her dating life is a dumpster fire because she likes to bang and does so quite quickly, but also wants to be treated like an old-fashioned lady. Her actions and her expectations don't match up, so she is perpetually frustrated.

What's her number?

Hey, that's me, but I'm not the OP.
OP, he is that special kind of cheapo. You got to like his silliness about money or it won't work.

My god, there are two of you loons running around the DC area?