What is the defining trauma of your life?

[Anonymous]

An ex boyfriend hit me in the head with a rock and then kidnapped me, but I was able to get away and ended up testifying against him. The shame was probably the worst part. I was working at a prestigious law firm at the time and it was not something anyone in my orbit (including my family) except for a couple of close friends seemed to know how to deal with.

My dad killed himself with a handgun after lifelong on and off depression in his late 70s.

[Anonymous]

Sister running away when I was 12 and she was 18. No young person should have to go through the family issues it created.

[Anonymous]

My father’s lifelong alcoholism and anger towards me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:IEP meetings

Same.

[Anonymous]

My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childhood sexual abuse

Childhood illness where I nearly died

Murder

Another murder

TBI

Married a narcissist that eventually raped me

Kids with special needs

IEP meetings

Autoimmune disease that took nearly 20 years to diagnose while doctors told me it was all in my head. I’ve been sick for so long.

It's "who" not "that" when you refer to a person. "That" is for objects, "who" is for people.

np This is not the time to correct someone's grammer!

[Anonymous]

Watching my mom literally drag her then elderly mom into her car to commit her to a mental hospital. My grandma refused to go and was screaming and flailing her arms. My mom smacked and slapped my grandma’s arms away then screamed at her while she pulled her into the car. I was 14 and my mom made me go with her to “help.” I stood and did nothing. Absolutely horrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.

Absolutely horrible

[Anonymous]

Welp, I’ll just see myself out with what I previously thought was traumatic…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are some terrible stories. They seem like real trauma. I wish people would stop using this phrase to describe the disappointment of not making the soccer team or other trivialities.

100%

- Death of father in childhood
- Sex abuse by step-parent & related secondary trauma
- Medical situation that almost killed me
- Accident that killed others in car
- Infertility
- Child almost died

And there are a couple others that would identify me so I will leave out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Childhood sexual abuse

Childhood illness where I nearly died

Murder

Another murder

TBI

Married a narcissist that eventually raped me

Kids with special needs

IEP meetings

Autoimmune disease that took nearly 20 years to diagnose while doctors told me it was all in my head. I’ve been sick for so long.

It's "who" not "that" when you refer to a person. "That" is for objects, "who" is for people.

THAT is your response?
Sorry, OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I (f) was 15 I was on the high school tennis team with my 16-year old neighbor who was my doubles partner. One night, she got into the back seat of a car with 3 other teens in there. They had all been drinking. They slammed in to a tree; the tree did not move. My neighbor went thru the windshield and was decapitated.

My neighbor's mom had a nervous breakdown and went to a "mental hospital." My mother pointed her finger at me and said "Don't you ever, ever do that to me." The neighbors soon after moved away, and I did not ever drink and drive or get into a car with anyone who had been drinking.

That's a bad one.

I am so sorry for this experience.
Are you saying the part where your mother told you not to do that to her was traumatizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.

Absolutely horrible

+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.

Absolutely horrible

+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.

It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom locked me in a basement and held the door while my aunts and uncles pounded on the door, yelled help, and pretended to break in through a tiny basement window. I was 7 or 8. I thought my extended family (mom, at least 5 aunts and uncles, sister, 2 cousins) was being murdered or something terrible and I was either next or the only one left. Then instead of apologizing, they made fun of me for not realizing it was a joke. Even as an adult, they’d make fun of me for my response because I cried.

Absolutely horrible

+1. This is so incredibly cruel, and from your family too. I'm so sorry.

It's not just cruel, it's weird and odd of a thing to do. I don't get it. Almost to the point where I feel like, could they be saying that to reassure you/lie/protect you from someting that really was indeed happening? but they still tease you which is really weird

We are a 'prank' family. I definitely remember tears at times as a kid. I didn't like it. We have them in our family, but I waited for the kids to be school aged before we did any and now we keep it friendly/fun, but if anyone gets upset - we stop immediately. Fingers-crossed this works to mitigate any cruelty. We are still in ES, so we will see.