What is the defining trauma of your life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was struck by a car when I was 8. Broke my pelvis, both legs, both ankles, fractured my skull, all facial bones, had a subdural hematoma and subsequent brain surgeries (twice) as well as multiple surgeries on my legs. I missed 3rd grade and was in the hospital from October until March learning how to do everything again.

I'm 51 and I think about it a dozen times a day because the physical problems still persist.

I've never really addressed the emotional part of being shattered.

Did you get any type of monetary settlement to help you? Could any be used toward counseling now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting fired from my dream job. I spent my whole adult life working toward that job. One bully of a boss ended it all. That was three years ago and I am still trying to pick up the pieces.

+2
I'm five years out from being tossed out from a 25-year career by a bully. I'm suing so it's dragging out.
But karma.

I’m currently going through this right now. Not fired yet but got the review with false allegations, exaggerations, and weird personal bullshit. Any advice you’d give to your past selves?

NP. Hire an attorney.

[Anonymous]

Forced to perform oral on neighbor in his basement, he was probably 60, I was a boy in first grade. My very naive 25 year old single mother would send me over when he’d call to say he had some vegetables to send over from his garden,she thought I liked helping and needed a male influence.
It disappeared from working memory until I was in my 20s but then it all came back and then in my late 30s my entire early life started making much more sense.
I looked him up because I planned to m$&@er him but he was already gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ I'm in my mid-50s and had bad cold sores on my mouth from the age of about 4 til my 30's when they sort of subsided. No one ever rejected or mocked me. Ever. And I lived in large urban areas, London, New York etc. I suspect if you lived in a tiny hick town, this might happen? Who knows but a lot of it has to be in the imagination of the cold sore sufferer, I suspect.

Your need to insult someone who experienced pain and rejection because of a medical condition is sick. Tiny hick town? You are a jerk. Just because that was your experience doesn't mean it is everyone else's. What a lack of compassion.

I assume you are a man because men often do exactly this. Step off and get a life.

I don't have them but saw a girl at my high school treated like a leper because of it. She didn't just get a sore or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My stepfather made me remove my unfinished fruit from the garbage and eat it in front of him before I was allowed to leave for school.

My dad made me eat a food I hated until I vomited. As I began to gag, he told me if I vomited he would make me eat my vomit. SO I swallowed it.

[Anonymous]

HS boyfriend raped me many times over 9 months and I stayed with him since I thought I should only have one partner my whole life (Catholic guilt). Meanwhile he would take me home and then go out and cheat on me with other girls. Swore off relationships for a long time and eventually met someone else. My self worth in relationships is still pretty low and I am almost 50 and imposter syndrome has limited my professional career geowth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Forced to perform oral on neighbor in his basement, he was probably 60, I was a boy in first grade. My very naive 25 year old single mother would send me over when he’d call to say he had some vegetables to send over from his garden,she thought I liked helping and needed a male influence.
It disappeared from working memory until I was in my 20s but then it all came back and then in my late 30s my entire early life started making much more sense.
I looked him up because I planned to m$&@er him but he was already gone.

I am really sorry this happened. My Grandfather was the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Forced to perform oral on neighbor in his basement, he was probably 60, I was a boy in first grade. My very naive 25 year old single mother would send me over when he’d call to say he had some vegetables to send over from his garden,she thought I liked helping and needed a male influence.
It disappeared from working memory until I was in my 20s but then it all came back and then in my late 30s my entire early life started making much more sense.
I looked him up because I planned to m$&@er him but he was already gone.

I am really sorry this happened. My Grandfather was the same.

Did the same to you? Sorry

[Anonymous]

1) My mom was and is a psycho.
2) I had an abortion I was not very comfortable with. I am pro-choice btw and do no regret my other abortion of a chromosomally abnormal pregnancy. Never even think of it. But this one I regret on an almost daily basis. It’s not trauma in the sense that I had no control over the experience, I just felt aborting was the less terrible choice at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son's mental illness has been an ongoing trauma for me. It's exhausting, and I have done everything I could think of to try to help him - but none of it has been very effective. He's a teenager, and I am terrified about what will happen when he is a legal adult.

I am so sorry. This sounds indeed difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother did not want to be a mother and she let me know it for my entire life until the day she died. My earliest memories are being aware that she didn’t like me and didn’t want to take care of me. She was never subtle about it.
By today’s standards it was neglect. She bought herself clothes, shoes, makeup and always looked fancy. but i never had more than one or 2 changes of clothes and wore the same winter coat all through middle and high school.
We didn’t have food in the house. As soon as I was old enough I got a job at grocery store and stole food so that I could eat. I was always hungry. I felt like I didn’t have a mom - even though technically I did.
I was extremely promiscuous as a teen. I think this had to do with lack of self-esteem because of my mother’s neglect. And absent father. I had more sexual partners in my teen years than most people do in a lifetime.
Eventually I had a “relationship” - with a married man who was 12 years older than me and sexually abusive.
By 20 I was putting myself through college by working in the adult entertainment industry. Very cliche I know. But at least I got a degree. My mom was disgusted with me for how I was making a living and suggested that I clean houses “since you don’t need a degree to do that.” I did not take her advice. She did not attend my graduation.
For my entire adult life my mother acted like I owed her something. I wound up taking care of her when she was diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. I don’t know why I felt obligated but I did. She resented me up until the very end. I do not miss her and rarely think about her. The trauma of not having a caring mom will always impact me.

I am sorry to read this. Please know you are not alone. My mother was a lousy one who never really wanted kids. She has zero interest in my children now too. I used to be profoundly sad but now I just don’t care. I am sure the emotional (and often physical too) abuse and neglect messed me up in many ways, but at the same they were also my motivation to get the hell out of the hellhole I grew up in with her and be better and do better. I live far from her now and don’t miss her. The last time I saw her was 2 years ago for a few hours. Sometimes I call her. Then she becomes awful and I simply hang up and don’t call for a few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was 8 and my mother told me "Don't ever have children, they'll ruin your life."

I spent my life -- and many years in therapy, trying to prove to her I wouldn't ruin her life.

And here i am at 61 still recounting it. (With 2 fabulous kids now in college.)

My God, I’m 60 and my mother said the same thing to me. Unfortunately, I can’t count it as the defining trauma.

😢

[Anonymous]

I was beaten most days before I left for school in my catholic pinafore uniform. Berated verbally regularly. Later in life I started having flashbacks of being held down and spit on. We were a model catholic family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My life beginning at about age 3 onwards. One huge trauma.

+2

Birth-~34

Doing well now. But boy was it hell

Me too! Also at 34.