SIL is prejudiced about putting her child in public school and disabled children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is astounded "get this" that her SIL doesn't want her kid in a classroom with table flippers. That must be striking too close for home for OP. She should worry more about her kids getting the help they need, so their behavior is under control, instead of bashing people like her SIL who want a happy and safe school environment. SIL also gets to prioritize her own child's education and needs, not just OP.

I don’t think that’s the point at all. OP is astounded that a social worker who has the education and professional exposure to the kids who need help AND the systems that help them would fall prey to some anecdotal evidence of issues at schools she’s never been in and/or make such gross victim blaming overgeneralized statements about kids who need support and the families they come from. Lots of people feel like OP’s SIL, but typically I expect professionals to have a more empathetic and nuanced view of the population they serve.

SIL didn't do anything to fail the population she serves - she serves them. That doesn't mean she has to subject her own child to anything she doesn't think will good for them. People get to do in their private lives what they think is best for their families. Implying that a social worker should send her own child to a school she isn't comfortable with is like saying a police officer should be fine taking their child to a high crime area because that's the population they serve.

[Anonymous]

I taught special education, including violent children, for many years and in the beginning I thought my kids would be OK in a public school classroom. It turns out he had more than his fair share of behavioral issues in the first few years. We were lucky to get him into better placement. If I had to do it all over again, I never would’ve sent him to public school.

[Anonymous]

Clearly your SIL is the individual with the cognitive deficiency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Clearly your SIL is the individual with the cognitive deficiency.

Is this your idea of an insult?

[Anonymous]

I am a pubic school teacher, as is my sister, as are many of our friends. At least half of us have our kids in private, mostly for the reason your sister in law states.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL was a social worker and now is in a management position.

We had a casual family brunch last weekend. I asked her about which school she is sending her child to for kindergarten, and I mused that maybe our kids would be in the same class.

She gave me a look and said there was no way she would put her kid in public school, that she has a spot at a private school for kindergarten. I asked her why?

She basically said she is refusing to put her kid in the public school system because of the teacher shortage and lack of aides for kids with behavioral or developmental problems. She said that she felt too many parents rely on the school system to support, feed, and take care of children, especially children with disabilities or behavioral problems. She said she went to a poor, rural school herself and had a terrible time. That there were too many kids with behavioral problems who would "flip tables" and the classroom would need to be evacuated. She said (and get this) "At least private schools screen out kids with that kind of behavioral problem."

I told her she is being ridiculous, that disabled children matter too and inclusion is healthy. She looked at me and said she is putting her son in part-time kindergarten at a private school and has "no desire" to put him in public school. She basically went on this big rant that too many families are dependent on the school system to raise their kids and provide services, she said kids being out of parental care for 50+ hours/week in before/after school care is harmful and that most schools simply do not have the resources to support kids with severe disabilities. She is a social worker and is supposed to recognize and understand the hardships families go through and not judge, it felt like she was just judging anyone who needs extra support.

All 3 of my children will be going to public school. We live in a good school district and I was quite offended by her statement. I haven't told her this, but we are waiting on an assessment for my youngest child and he may need an IEP. I was shocked she would be so bigoted towards poor families and children with disabilities.

You sound as bigoted as she is, if not more.

[Anonymous]

She’s not wrong.