SIL is prejudiced about putting her child in public school and disabled children.
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Anonymous
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My SIL was a social worker and now is in a management position.
We had a casual family brunch last weekend. I asked her about which school she is sending her child to for kindergarten, and I mused that maybe our kids would be in the same class. She gave me a look and said there was no way she would put her kid in public school, that she has a spot at a private school for kindergarten. I asked her why? She basically said she is refusing to put her kid in the public school system because of the teacher shortage and lack of aides for kids with behavioral or developmental problems. She said that she felt too many parents rely on the school system to support, feed, and take care of children, especially children with disabilities or behavioral problems. She said she went to a poor, rural school herself and had a terrible time. That there were too many kids with behavioral problems who would "flip tables" and the classroom would need to be evacuated. She said (and get this) "At least private schools screen out kids with that kind of behavioral problem." I told her she is being ridiculous, that disabled children matter too and inclusion is healthy. She looked at me and said she is putting her son in part-time kindergarten at a private school and has "no desire" to put him in public school. She basically went on this big rant that too many families are dependent on the school system to raise their kids and provide services, she said kids being out of parental care for 50+ hours/week in before/after school care is harmful and that most schools simply do not have the resources to support kids with severe disabilities. She is a social worker and is supposed to recognize and understand the hardships families go through and not judge, it felt like she was just judging anyone who needs extra support. All 3 of my children will be going to public school. We live in a good school district and I was quite offended by her statement. I haven't told her this, but we are waiting on an assessment for my youngest child and he may need an IEP. I was shocked she would be so bigoted towards poor families and children with disabilities. |
Anonymous
| I don't believe this conversation happened but if it did, she has every right to that opinion. |
Anonymous
| Lots of people feel this way - they just rarely say it out loud. |
Anonymous
| I'm guessing her work as a social worker is impacting her feelings. My job gives allows me to see behind the curtain of a certain industry and it has definitely made me more cynical. |
Anonymous
| Why don't you check back when your kids are actually in school since you said they "will be going" ok? |
Anonymous
Absolutely. Not for kindergarten, but my ds was in a class with a spitting, chair throwing table flipper. The room was evacuated weekly, on average. Things were broken, other kids were scared. I would have avoided that if I could. The kid eventually threw something at a display case and broke the glass. That got him expelled finally. |
Anonymous
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You are the one who asked the question, asked her to elaborate on the answer, and then told her that her answer was ridiculous.
She is NTA. |
Anonymous
| I believed how you do, my DD went to public schools, and she had her finger broken in elementary school by a kid with special needs, and got a black eye in middle school by a different kid with special needs. In one of her elementary grades the class had to evacuate the room multiple times each week. Having one aide in a class with 8 kids who had special needs was not enough. |
Anonymous
Yeah, there are absolutely people who feels this way, but the OP is poorly written, overly verbose, virtue signaling fanfiction. |
Anonymous
| You can feel the school is overburdened by people with special needs AND feel everyone is entitled to fair treatment in the school system. It is not prejudice to decide your kids will be overlooked and overwhelmed given the pressures on the public schools. I feel that way too. |
Anonymous
| You asked. Next time, you need to be smart and don't ask. |
Anonymous
| NP. I had a friend who said she only looked at private schools because "I want him to go to school with normal kids." |
Anonymous
Is inclusion just disregarded as important? How will your friends kids react by seeing "disabled" kids? |
Anonymous
DP - do you think school is the only place kids may encounter "disabled" kids? They will react the same way they would when they see them anywhere else. |
Anonymous
| It’s naive to think that private schools don’t get any special needs kids. |