"Girl things" for boys - nail polish on a toddler boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many ridiculous takes in this thread. First of all, boys can wear nail polish just fine. My now college athlete DS liked painting his nails when he was around 8 because he liked the colors. Nobody ever gave him trouble, though admittedly he was also the large, strong kid who put himself physically between bullies and the smaller kids, so a kid willing to tease him for his nails had to be willing to take him on at the playground. As far as I know, none of the bullies were willing to risk it. In any event, he wore fingernail polish of various colors freely for awhile then stopped and has never done it again. I didn’t praise it, I didn’t criticize it. I didn’t warn him people would tease him. I just let him do it while he was interested, just like I let him wear Pokémon shoes or monster truck shirts. It was really NBD.

But secondly, I’m skeptical that a three-year-old is doing this without it being parental virtue signaling. Three-year-olds aren’t generally asking for this or having these conversations without parental prompting. So, I’m a little skeptical of the whole story.

That is just silly. My kids ask for nail polish anytime I am putting some on myself or they notice that I have a fresh pedicure.

At age three?

not the pp but this is totally three year old behavior. My kid wants to do everything I do. I shave my facial hair and she pretends to shave her non existent hair LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so puzzled by these threads. Do parents not understand demographics? Andrew Tate is for nerdy young men who want to feel masculine and women who want to be outraged. Heels are for women and for men who want to look like them. Are parents just pretending to be this dense or do they seriously not understand why nail polish codes female?

Um, what? You make no sense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many ridiculous takes in this thread. First of all, boys can wear nail polish just fine. My now college athlete DS liked painting his nails when he was around 8 because he liked the colors. Nobody ever gave him trouble, though admittedly he was also the large, strong kid who put himself physically between bullies and the smaller kids, so a kid willing to tease him for his nails had to be willing to take him on at the playground. As far as I know, none of the bullies were willing to risk it. In any event, he wore fingernail polish of various colors freely for awhile then stopped and has never done it again. I didn’t praise it, I didn’t criticize it. I didn’t warn him people would tease him. I just let him do it while he was interested, just like I let him wear Pokémon shoes or monster truck shirts. It was really NBD.

But secondly, I’m skeptical that a three-year-old is doing this without it being parental virtue signaling. Three-year-olds aren’t generally asking for this or having these conversations without parental prompting. So, I’m a little skeptical of the whole story.

That is just silly. My kids ask for nail polish anytime I am putting some on myself or they notice that I have a fresh pedicure.

So do mine. I say no.

Ok, and I don't. And my kid wouldn't tease your kid for not having painted nails so please teach your kid not to tease mine for doing what he or she wants to do.

If you say no to your boy who wants painted nails and the only reason is because he is a boy then you are in fact the one virtue signaling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But secondly, I’m skeptical that a three-year-old is doing this without it being parental virtue signaling. Three-year-olds aren’t generally asking for this or having these conversations without parental prompting. So, I’m a little skeptical of the whole story.

We must have very different three year olds. I'm always amused how different kids can be from eachother, and I guess it's hard to imagine other kids, since you have so much experience with your own. My is very curious and explorative. When he sees other people do things, he asks to try. He puts shaving cream on his face to "shave." He tries on other people's shoes... he tries out your pen. Plays with the dog's ball... He wants to wear your watch. He asks to try nail polish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many ridiculous takes in this thread. First of all, boys can wear nail polish just fine. My now college athlete DS liked painting his nails when he was around 8 because he liked the colors. Nobody ever gave him trouble, though admittedly he was also the large, strong kid who put himself physically between bullies and the smaller kids, so a kid willing to tease him for his nails had to be willing to take him on at the playground. As far as I know, none of the bullies were willing to risk it. In any event, he wore fingernail polish of various colors freely for awhile then stopped and has never done it again. I didn’t praise it, I didn’t criticize it. I didn’t warn him people would tease him. I just let him do it while he was interested, just like I let him wear Pokémon shoes or monster truck shirts. It was really NBD.

But secondly, I’m skeptical that a three-year-old is doing this without it being parental virtue signaling. Three-year-olds aren’t generally asking for this or having these conversations without parental prompting. So, I’m a little skeptical of the whole story.

That is just silly. My kids ask for nail polish anytime I am putting some on myself or they notice that I have a fresh pedicure.

So do mine. I say no.

Ok, and I don't. And my kid wouldn't tease your kid for not having painted nails so please teach your kid not to tease mine for doing what he or she wants to do.

If you say no to your boy who wants painted nails and the only reason is because he is a boy then you are in fact the one virtue signaling.

I saw no to my boy and girl CHILDREN because CHILDREN don't need to wear makeup, which is for adults.

[Anonymous]

so if I let my kid paint her nails with finger paint, then it's appropriate child's play, but if I let her use (non-toxic, vegan, and water soluble) nail polish, then I've let her act like a street hussy? Did I get that right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so if I let my kid paint her nails with finger paint, then it's appropriate child's play, but if I let her use (non-toxic, vegan, and water soluble) nail polish, then I've let her act like a street hussy? Did I get that right?

Who used the words Street hussy? The point is that some things are for adults. Just because a child wants to play with them doesn't make them appropriate for kids. Same reason I don't let my kids wear lipstick or high heels. Let them be little kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son likes to paint his toe nails, probably because I (mom) do it and it's fun to do together, and colorful, and he's 3. He just asked one day, and we did it.

Today he asked me to take it off, so I did and said "ok, cool, do you want to leave it off or another color?" and he said a childcare person told him it was "only for girls." I told him that person is wrong and sometimes people are wrong and nail polish is for anyone who likes nail polish. Any advice on what to say to him to both make him confident in whatever he wants to do and feel OK ignoring childcare people in some instances (like this) but not in most others? I feel like we should talk about it, but also I don't want to give this idea credit by talking too much about it.

Secondarily, I generally love this childcare person and my kids also love her, I'm a little annoyed with her because obviously we knew we were OK with the nail polish, but then told him otherwise...

Who cares. Stop trying to micromanage what people say and making a big deal out of everything. Its easier to live life that way. Nail polish is a traditionally girl thing. So if your son wears nail polish (and nothing is wrong with that), he should be prepared for comments like the comments his teacher made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to ask yourself why you really want to have your toddler boy show off painted nails outside the home. Signaling that you are progressive is not a good reason.

You should of course tell the child care provider that she is out of place for wiping the polish off and telling him it's only for girls. That's not her place at all, I agree. That's your place. You should cut back on this activity until he is old enough to choose for himself whether he wants to challenge social norms and be an accessory to your need to signal.

There are some good points here, although the tone is a bit accusatory. But it's true that the child has every right to care about his appearance and reputation, and to try to encourage him to defy social norms (even if those norms are silly) regarding nail polish outside the home when he is clearly uncomfortable with how people react to it (including other children, I'd guess -- if they haven't said anything yet, they eventually will) will come across to many like it's more about how important non-conformity is to you than about the child's interests. When he is older and better understands the norms that exist he can draw his own conclusions about whether he thinks the norms matter and are worth following, and you can help him with conversations sharing your views on the topic but also let him know other people have different views. He is only 3 right now so it's not worth him suffering over what is to you a matter of principle, but you can help him to think through his own views and values regarding this when his brain is more developed.

This.

[Anonymous]

How old are you people that you think nail polish is still only for women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Does this little boy have a male roll model at home?

Hard to imagine that many men who want their preschool sons to be wearing nail polish.

God, you’re all such a bunch of out of touch dinosaurs. Are you 80, or just MAGA loons?

Nope, just parents of boys who have friends and aren't bullied for acting weird. Go ahead and put a big pink bow in your boy's hair as he heads to school, and then go start a thread about why your child has trouble making friends. You do you.

The kid wasn't bullied though and there is no evidence that he has trouble making friends.

NP but I don't think that was PP's point. If you guys are fine with bending gender norms for kids then why not put a bow in your son's hair? Or buy them dresses? I'm sure you enforce gender norms for your kids all day long. So maybe get off your high horse on this.

Exactly. Most of the people saying it's fine for boys to wear dresses wouldn't let their own boys leave the house like that. It's a fine sideshow for other people to perform in.

This.