"Girl things" for boys - nail polish on a toddler boy
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Anonymous
Trolls probably wasn't the right term. But ops question was not whether she should let him paint his nails, which is what the posters just saying "let your son be a boy" are going on about. Of course! He has plenty of spiderman stuff too!! He's wearing spiderman crocs today with a pink shirt. It's incredibly likely that my son will slowly start to choose things a little more within the typical boy things as he enters elementary school. But he's kind of a quirky kid who really likes color and rainbow, and right now specifically pink and I will support what he chooses, and prep him for the potential push back until he decides otherwise. My point was just that if you have a kid that expresses interest in things that are slightly out of their gender norm, and you have those convos early - they understand that they are going outside the norm, and can continue to make that call as long as they feel comfortable. |
Anonymous
This. I’d be irritated at the adult who told him this. It’s not their place. |
Anonymous
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I feel as though there are two different issues here.
One is that I happen to think it's fine for a little boy to wear toenail polish, or to try on the princess gowns in the dress up corner, or whatever. The message that something is just for boys or just for girls has been really hurtful to kids who are gender nonconforming, whether it's for a few minutes (e.g. football player who takes ballet stereotype) or more persistently. But the other is that as a parent, when I leave my kid in someone's care to go to work, I expect that person to reinforce my place as parent, not to undermine it. I had an issue where I was sending watered down juice to school with my kid, on the recommendation of my pediatrician, because of a specific medical issue. The preschool teacher took the juice away and told my kid it was "junk food" and "not for school" and that I was "wrong". I was livid, partially because he actually needed the juice, but mostly because, unless I'm doing something abusive or unsafe, or I made a mistake on an indisputable fact, you don't tell him I'm wrong, or that the care I provide is wrong. What my kid brings in his lunch box is my choice. What this OP's kid wears to school on his body is his choice. The school's job is to hold up the parent, not tear them down. |
Anonymous
| “Some people think X. In our family, Y.” This isn’t that hard. This phrase works for all sorts of conversations. |
Anonymous
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I'm OP, and thanks to everyone, this has been really interesting for me to hear everyone's thoughts, even ones I very much do not agree with. A few things to add to the conversation...
1. I very very much did not push him to wear nail polish, I actually told him 3 or 4 times that it's too messy for kids and he'd have to sit still while it dried which may be boring. His dad/my husband gave in and painted them. So that answers the strange question about single-parent-ness. When he asked to take it off, we took it off, and won't put it on again unless he brings it up. (Which btw, is exactly how I would react if a girl child asked to paint or not paint toe nails.) 2. I don't "want to have [my] toddler boy show off painted nails outside the home." He's always wearing closed toed athletic shoes and socks during the day... so no flaunting. My only agenda is letting him enjoy the things he wants to try if it's not hurting anyone. 3. I really appreciate the thoughts about preparing him for what others may say, if he chooses to do [whatever thing] in the future. I understand that it may be the reality, but I find it sooooo depressing that in 2023 anyone would give a boy, especially a 3yo, a hard time about wearing nail polish. Don't we have other things to worry about?! Thanks again! |
Anonymous
| At least half the boys in my daughters preschool class wear nail polish. It’s fun and paint represents a large part of their lives. Telling them only girls get this paint would never compute. |
Anonymous
Agree with the bolded. |
Anonymous
| What’s with all the “my son loves nail polish” threads. WTF. |
Anonymous
What's with all the people so crazed over a 3yo who wants to have painted toes like mommy? Who cares? It's nail polish. It's fun. After having kids, I see that some things really are taught. My older son loved pink (AND trucks, trains, cars) when he was 2-3. Now he's older, and he has clearly been told by someone (not me) that pink is only for girls, because he has told me so and has stopped wanting pink. Now my second son is 3 and loves pink. |
Anonymous
Serious question, would you let your son wear lipstick? Why not? It's fun right! |
Anonymous
NP. I would let my son wear lipstick when he was a tween or older. Same as when I would let my daughter wear lipstick. Nail polish some time in elementary school (also for either if/when they express an interest). I was weird kid, albeit not in a gender nonconforming way, and I’m glad my parents didn’t insist I do the normal thing just because it was normal. |
Anonymous
Would I let a 3yo of any gender wear lipstick? Nope. I don't make rules for my kids based on their genders. I buy them things they love, and support them in whatever version of themselves they want to be. |
Anonymous
My 3 year old thinks chapstick is lipstick and insists on applying it before leaving her bedroom. She also does her pretend blush and mascara. I haven’t worn makeup except to a party since college. Kids are gonna kid. |
Anonymous
I just don't understand the difference between lipstick and nail polish. |
Anonymous
Whats it like to be so wrong and think you are right..... "A specific example of this can be seen in an old trade publication from 1918. According to Smithsonian, the magazine Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department noted “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls”. Is traditionally only the past 50 years? If it keeps changing it isnt tradition. 
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