What is the earliest age at which you would seriously entertain your AC marrying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

This was my experience. I met my husband at 18, started dating him at 20, engaged at 25, married at 27, kids at 32 and 35. We certainly didn't rush into things. Along the way we both picked up advanced degrees. Heck, I'm a JD/PhD. His support was essential. It's having kids that make it harder to finish degrees, but there are IUDs for that.

I'd encourage my kids not to rush, but also not to drop their person just because they're young. There are many ways to do things.

This^. No rush to go make babies but if you've your person who loves and cares for you, don't drop them for pursuing one more degree or having one more promotion or saving one more grand. You may never find another one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

I know far too many who “put their advance degree on hold” due to the birth of a child, but never re-started their educations.

If they really wanted to, they could've. May be their priorities changed.

[Anonymous]

*most of them could've ... life throws real curveballs for some specially if there is no family net to catch them

[Anonymous]

I couldn’t have entertained it until I was 40. That was when DC was born.

[Anonymous]

Adults make their own choices whether we entertain them or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As in, contribute to the wedding in some form? If your 22 y/o told you they’re engaged WWYD?

The cap goes the other way. Around 27/28 they should be able for their own wedding. Slightly younger maybe some help. Less than that … they get a talk.

[Anonymous]

60

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:60

Too young.

[Anonymous]

My son got married at 20 and they had a baby when he was 22. There was no entertaining to be done by me, I did enjoy the wedding and the reception though. They paid for it. I have always supported whatever decisions my adult children make and also supported them if it didn't end up going well. They do the same for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

The snobbery around advanced degrees is astounding. Outside of MBAs, JDs, and MDs, except in niche academic/academic adjacent professions, they don’t even improve earnings potential.

If you’re holding off on paying for a wedding until your ACs get advanced degrees, that’s sort of crazy and controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

The snobbery around advanced degrees is astounding. Outside of MBAs, JDs, and MDs, except in niche academic/academic adjacent professions, they don’t even improve earnings potential.

If you’re holding off on paying for a wedding until your ACs get advanced degrees, that’s sort of crazy and controlling.

Its not always about the advance degree snobbery but some parents just doesn't want to lose control so doesn't want kids to marry and break free of their current nuclear unit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of my divorced friends were married. Not a single unmarried friend got divorced. Why the push for marriage?

No push exists.

Societal push for straight marriage was always strong. This preference for single, late marriage, same sex marriage and divorce is rather recent.

Hey Granny! The times they are a-changin…

Another Granny who thinks the times aren’t changing for the better. All of the people who think they are liberated now are less happy… with poor mental health, relying on drugs, porn, social media and money for meaning…

[Anonymous]

My children know they have to first get a college degree. After that they can marry whenever they want. Hopefully to a wonderful guy or gal.

[Anonymous]

I hope my kids marry and have kids in their 20’s. I was 36 and 38 when I had my kids. I realize that if they wait just as long I will be between 72 and 76 when they have their first child. I would love to be an active grandparent and help out.

Or at a minimum I don’t want to be a burden. My mom by 78 had a strike and now at 82 has dementia. It sucks. My kids don’t really remember her before she started having issues. My older brothers’ kids do because they were late teenagers when she declined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope my kids marry and have kids in their 20’s. I was 36 and 38 when I had my kids. I realize that if they wait just as long I will be between 72 and 76 when they have their first child. I would love to be an active grandparent and help out.

Or at a minimum I don’t want to be a burden. My mom by 78 had a strike and now at 82 has dementia. It sucks. My kids don’t really remember her before she started having issues. My older brothers’ kids do because they were late teenagers when she declined.

So its all about you?