What is the earliest age at which you would seriously entertain your AC marrying?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:18, because that’s when they become my adult children.


Wow! Are your kids completely financially independent of you?


No, but they are legally able to marry. Some states they could marry before 18, but OP asked specifically about adult children.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:As in, contribute to the wedding in some form? If your 22 y/o told you they’re engaged WWYD?


I feel like one adult shouldn't be enforcing life decisions for other adults, even if they birthed them.

That being said, as a parent, I would feel okay if they are both 21+, finished college, have jobs (or can have jobs after finishing grad/professional school), have known each other for >two years, lived together for >1 year, have no debt other than student loans.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I got engaged at 18. My parents said they wouldn't pay until we were 22 and out of college, but then they would absolutely pay for a wedding. They also said we couldn't afford our own insurance in college or even rent or groceries. (side note- I'm happy they told me to wait. I dated that man for 6 years, but we later broke up amicably. I'm glad we never married)


That's a well known parental strategy to break up a couple without having to break them up. It benefits or forever sabotage love lives of their adult children.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I got engaged at 18. My parents said they wouldn't pay until we were 22 and out of college, but then they would absolutely pay for a wedding. They also said we couldn't afford our own insurance in college or even rent or groceries. (side note- I'm happy they told me to wait. I dated that man for 6 years, but we later broke up amicably. I'm glad we never married)


That's a well known parental strategy to break up a couple without having to break them up. It benefits or forever sabotage love lives of their adult children.


I agree but nothing they said wasn't true. I couldn't support myself then. We actually didn't want to marry until we graduated anyways.
Anonymous
If they are marrying, I would try to support them in any way I can, financially as well. It doesn't matter how old they are, 20 or 40.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:As in, contribute to the wedding in some form? If your 22 y/o told you they’re engaged WWYD?


Help any way we can.
Anonymous
I wouldn't spend a fortune but enough to have a small wedding and a happy beginning instead of withholding my blessings or money as a passive-aggressive way to ruin it.
Anonymous
College graduate- which could be as young as 21 but would prefer closer to 25.
Anonymous
Depends on their maturity level. I would prefer they be financially stable and independent. So would be fine let’s say with a young twenty something who has a job and moved out but not someone who has not completed graduate schooling.
Anonymous
It depends. Honestly I don’t want to pay for their wedding in any amount, but I am also ok with them marrying whenever they want, I just hope their partner isn’t a dud.
Anonymous
It's not my decision to entertain. We don't have buckets of money set aside for DD's dream wedding and she knows that. Since both of my kids (21 and 25) are still on our health insurance, I'm thinking no wedding is imminent.

I did not ask my mom to entertain the idea of my wedding or contribute anything to it. I just went to the court house and got married (I was 24).
Anonymous
24
Anonymous
If they are good for each other and can build a life together, there is no real reason for you to be the villain, other than your preconceived notions about what's the "right" time.

Anonymous
Can someone explain to me why all the rwnjs want their children to marry young? I'm sure that is what is leading to these posts - the right is trying to push marrying at younger ages.

I would prefer my kids be settled financially and wait until at least late 20s.
Anonymous
Only one of my large group of college friends married before 29 and she's been divorced twice now. Why the push?
post reply Forum Index » Adult Children
Message Quick Reply
Go to: