What is the earliest age at which you would seriously entertain your AC marrying?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Barring a very few specific paths (medical school with highly specialized/long residency, etc.)...if it takes my child until 32-35 to do those things I would feel as though I have failed as a parent.

This^. All the young adults in our family were done with their MBA, MD, JD, MA, MS degrees by the time they were 25-26.

No PhDs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Barring a very few specific paths (medical school with highly specialized/long residency, etc.)...if it takes my child until 32-35 to do those things I would feel as though I have failed as a parent.

This^. All the young adults in our family were done with their MBA, MD, JD, MA, MS degrees by the time they were 25-26.

No PhDs?

No. Just one and she decided it was taking too long and wouldn't benefit financially any more than years of experience would. So far no one in our family has done it. Last one was an uncle who was a perpetual student.

[Anonymous]

If you go directly from undergrad to grad school, you are done with masters/professional degree by 26, even if you work a couple of years, you should he done by 30.

If you are taking gap years and need more time to finish studies than pausing marriage makes even less sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Barring a very few specific paths (medical school with highly specialized/long residency, etc.)...if it takes my child until 32-35 to do those things I would feel as though I have failed as a parent.

This^. All the young adults in our family were done with their MBA, MD, JD, MA, MS degrees by the time they were 25-26.

No PhDs?

NP.

Nope. And as someone with a PhD--I say that's a darn good thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

I know far too many who “put their advance degree on hold” due to the birth of a child, but never re-started their educations.

[Anonymous]

Getting engaged, getting married and having kids are very different things, we are in 2023, birth control and egg freeze is easily available.

Everyone in our family who decided to take an advance degree after marriage and kids, has done it successfully. My own husband is an example, work-study-wife-kid, gracefully juggled it all. We are so happy we didn't pause our life.

[Anonymous]

Paying for my DD's wedding. she is 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

I know far too many who “put their advance degree on hold” due to the birth of a child, but never re-started their educations.

And I know many who put marriage/children "on hold" due to advanced degrees, but never ended up actually getting married or having a kid. What's your point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

I know far too many who “put their advance degree on hold” due to the birth of a child, but never re-started their educations.

And I know many who put marriage/children "on hold" due to advanced degrees, but never ended up actually getting married or having a kid. What's your point

This^. And many built great lives without advance degrees or later get it. Bottom line, it can be after finishing all the higher education one can get in life time and advancing career and building a sizable nest-egg OR those things can overlap and be shuffled to suit your preferences and it can be done with a loving, compatible and supportive partner who is also independently pursuing her/his goals.

Children are a bigger responsibility so postponing that until 30 makes sense but if money and family support is available, there is no need to delay and risk infertility.

Assuming a person wants advance education, marriage, kids etc. If they don't, there is no issue to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Personally, in my experience and opinion, 21-30 is an ideal age for marriage and 25-35 is an ideal age for having kids. Its your physical prime for sex and fertility and you can get done raising kids before aging issues hit you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

I know far too many who “put their advance degree on hold” due to the birth of a child, but never re-started their educations.

And I know many who put marriage/children "on hold" due to advanced degrees, but never ended up actually getting married or having a kid. What's your point

We have so many of those on relationship forum.

[Anonymous]

I would not entertain it until my children are 25+, the age at which the brain is fully developed. Choosing a spouse is absolutely the biggest, most important decision anyone will ever make in one’s life.
To support one at too early of an age is reckless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Realistically, about 32 to 35.

It takes that much time to earn an advanced degree (which we expect) and also to really establish their career and save.

Why can’t you get an advanced degree, establish a career, and save after getting married?

If anything it’s easier—there is someone else to support you and balance workloads at home while you handle working + school, and having a built in roommate in a spouse makes saving simple.

This was my experience. I met my husband at 18, started dating him at 20, engaged at 25, married at 27, kids at 32 and 35. We certainly didn't rush into things. Along the way we both picked up advanced degrees. Heck, I'm a JD/PhD. His support was essential. It's having kids that make it harder to finish degrees, but there are IUDs for that.

I'd encourage my kids not to rush, but also not to drop their person just because they're young. There are many ways to do things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not entertain it until my children are 25+, the age at which the brain is fully developed. Choosing a spouse is absolutely the biggest, most important decision anyone will ever make in one’s life.
To support one at too early of an age is reckless.

Most divorces happen among 25-55 with "fully developed prefrontal cortex".

[Anonymous]

New reports say men's brains aren't fully developed until early 30's. New reports also say aging degeneration begins in 20's.