Tackfully tell family member to stop bringing lousy food to potlucks

[Anonymous]

Personally, I often get dollar store dishes for serving. This way, if I have to leave before they clean up the buffet, I can leave the dish there in case anyone wants more. The person who brings their nice platter, but needs to have the platter emptied so they can leave early and then needs to stop and wash it before going and wants a fresh dish towel to dry it and so on is just a PITA.

As for the food, I personally would prefer good tasting store/restaurant bought food to these mediocre, or worse, bad, dishes that people bring. I really don't want to have to be polite and have Aunt Jane's cottage cheese jello mold, or Uncle Bob's signature dish that tastes terrible or cousin Sally's favorite recipe that no one but her likes.

So, team family member here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
All I care about is whether the food is good, OP. In my experience, people are usually such bad cooks that bringing grocery store or restaurant food will yield the same result: the crispy things will be soggy, everything will be too fat, too salty or too sweet.

Now perhaps you *meant* to say that her food was awful, while the rest was delicious home-made fare. In that case, you have my sympathies, but also a question: if no one eats her food, hasn't she got the message yet? Or maybe this poor relative is incapable of cooking, and just wants to contribute. Perhaps then you should just thank her and be nice.

People do eat it, but I'm sure it is only to be polite. My mother spent a long time making three quiches and was hurt that those didn't get "sympathy" eaten like the waffles. Everyone says her food is "fun" or better than they could make at home.

Ah okay. So you and your mom are sour because this relative has managed to provide food that people like, rather than spending a long time making food that no one eats. Other people are not upset and think her food is both fun and of good quality.

I think you and your mom should stop attending family events with this person, since you both seem to resent her so much.

OP and her mom have a martyr complex.

[Anonymous]

OP did you ask for everyone to only bring homemade dishes? Potluck does not automatically mean "homemade."

[Anonymous]

Op here. Someone mentioned potluck love language, I don't understand what kind of love language is a zero effort one? She doesn't have to bring anything, most people don't.
she volunteer s to do it to make herself look good. Mostly it's the aunts, mother-in-law's, and such that do because they want to share. Why should she get the same praise as someone that deserves it? I'm going to tell her not to bring anything even drinks. That way she won't get credit for something that she shouldn't. It isn't fair. It's easy to be the fun likeable one when you don't actually put forth any effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Someone mentioned potluck love language, I don't understand what kind of love language is a zero effort one? She doesn't have to bring anything, most people don't.
she volunteer s to do it to make herself look good. Mostly it's the aunts, mother-in-law's, and such that do because they want to share. Why should she get the same praise as someone that deserves it? I'm going to tell her not to bring anything even drinks. That way she won't get credit for something that she shouldn't. It isn't fair. It's easy to be the fun likeable one when you don't actually put forth any effort.

No, she volunteers because she wants to share and participate too. You sounds extremely bitter and ungrateful. So she buys food? Why do you care so much? And why are you keeping score on the praise? She deserves praise too for thinking about what to provide, working for the money to buy it, presenting it on the right day at the right time. OP, you are the problem here.

[Anonymous]

I'm amazed by how many people are falling for this troll. For a forum that constantly talks about education and intelligence, there sure are a lot of gullible idiots replying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Someone mentioned potluck love language, I don't understand what kind of love language is a zero effort one? She doesn't have to bring anything, most people don't.
she volunteer s to do it to make herself look good. Mostly it's the aunts, mother-in-law's, and such that do because they want to share. Why should she get the same praise as someone that deserves it? I'm going to tell her not to bring anything even drinks. That way she won't get credit for something that she shouldn't. It isn't fair. It's easy to be the fun likeable one when you don't actually put forth any effort.

Oh, you’re definitely a troll, OP. The tell is in how obvious you’re being immature and petty. I’ll give you a B+ for effort and creativity with the meal descriptors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Someone mentioned potluck love language, I don't understand what kind of love language is a zero effort one? She doesn't have to bring anything, most people don't.
she volunteer s to do it to make herself look good. Mostly it's the aunts, mother-in-law's, and such that do because they want to share. Why should she get the same praise as someone that deserves it? I'm going to tell her not to bring anything even drinks. That way she won't get credit for something that she shouldn't. It isn't fair. It's easy to be the fun likeable one when you don't actually put forth any effort.

Stop calling it a potluck and provide food. You just say, thanks Sally, my treat this time, or how about bring a desert?

[Anonymous]

Op should read:

"No one eats my mom's quiche at potlucks! People love the shrimp and waffles and other things that people bring, but not the quiche. What should I do?"

Then the response can be:

"If no one eats what you bring to the potluck, bring something different. Either your cooking isn't great, or it's not a quiche sort of crowd."

This is not about store bought food that people enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I never realized a potluck was about showing off the homemade dish you make in order to be praised about it. I thought it was more about having a less stressful way to host a party because everyone pitches in. Who knew...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never realized a potluck was about showing off the homemade dish you make in order to be praised about it. I thought it was more about having a less stressful way to host a party because everyone pitches in. Who knew...

You been living under a rock!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never realized a potluck was about showing off the homemade dish you make in order to be praised about it. I thought it was more about having a less stressful way to host a party because everyone pitches in. Who knew...

You been living under a rock!?

I get that there's some showing off involved, don't get me wrong, but OP seems to be taking it to another level!

[Anonymous]

Actually, she sounds very creative and like someone who knows her cooking is not the best so she gets takeout. Sounds like a win win to me.

[Anonymous]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/home/potluck-etiquette-all-you-need-to-know-before-you-plop-a-casserole-on-the-table/2019/11/25/c8a4659e-062e-11ea-8292-c46ee8cb3dce_story.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to come to my potlucks instead.

+1!

OP would hate me, and a lot of my friends. I like to bring smoked, wild caught albacore and salmon because I live where it's caught. People fall on it like vultures! I have a friend who's a soup maven and her soup is served directly from the crock pot. No decanting into adorable little bowls is needed- just ladle it into a cup. Of course, then there's the lady who plunked a dirty head of lettuce into a dirty chips bowl and called it good.