Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.

It seems cruel to your Americanized value system.
Whereas to the Indian, allowing their child to marry into financial insecurity would seem cruel and akin to poor parenting.

Wealthy Americans guide their children similarly but the word here is GUIDE - not bash the message over the kid's head when it is too late to influence and mold the child.

[Anonymous]

The title of this post is entirely misleading. 90 percent of divorces are not filed by college educated women. Only 90 of divorces between college educated people are filed by women. It’s not 90 percent of all divorces.

[Anonymous]

HS Stats should be mandatory. OP could clearly use a refresher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is up with them? Why can’t they handle marriage?

Imho too much to juggle, kids, husband, education, career, birth family, in-laws, friends, colleagues, finances, household, sex, health, paperwork, social media etc etc. It becomes too much to juggle and still manage good marital life. It feels easier to leave and restart than manage and fix, specially if there are other options out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is related so bear with me:

Back in grad school, I would watch this show called Love Connection (1980s). This is what I observed:

- when the couple was Afro-American, they almost always decided to go on a second date.

- when the couple was working class, about 75% of the time they would go on a second date

- when the couple was Larry the Lawyer and Mary the Marketing MBA, they almost never picked each other for a second date.

Simple, the higher the education, the higher the expectations. The more divorces, though that 90% seems way too high.

Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.

Those “other race” people are not “arrogant”; it’s called having standards & knowing your options in life. Selfish? Are you under the impression that you’re owed someone’s romantic love?

Having standards is fine but that means dismissing good men who may be better fathers and husbands than the rich man whose income you're eyeballing. You are also dismissing the love that may be the most true and long lasting than the rich man you're looking at.

Love isn't owed its felt and happens naturally and not just because someone's throwing cash at you to buy you things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is related so bear with me:

Back in grad school, I would watch this show called Love Connection (1980s). This is what I observed:

- when the couple was Afro-American, they almost always decided to go on a second date.

- when the couple was working class, about 75% of the time they would go on a second date

- when the couple was Larry the Lawyer and Mary the Marketing MBA, they almost never picked each other for a second date.

Simple, the higher the education, the higher the expectations. The more divorces, though that 90% seems way too high.

Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.

Why would I marry a man with a high school diploma or one who is a truck driver. He adds no value to my life. I’d rather be single.

It may come as a surprise to you if you've never fallen in love but there are people who look past material household income and luxury things and look at the heart not just the wallet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.

It seems cruel to your Americanized value system.
Whereas to the Indian, allowing their child to marry into financial insecurity would seem cruel and akin to poor parenting.

Wealthy Americans guide their children similarly but the word here is GUIDE - not bash the message over the kid's head when it is too late to influence and mold the child.

Yes they are similar and that is why the divorce rate is so high among Indians in India too. Of the Indian divorces I've seen in America the Indian women preferred cash and assets over having full custody of their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is up with them? Why can’t they handle marriage?

They realize they should have married women, not men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is related so bear with me:

Back in grad school, I would watch this show called Love Connection (1980s). This is what I observed:

- when the couple was Afro-American, they almost always decided to go on a second date.

- when the couple was working class, about 75% of the time they would go on a second date

- when the couple was Larry the Lawyer and Mary the Marketing MBA, they almost never picked each other for a second date.

Simple, the higher the education, the higher the expectations. The more divorces, though that 90% seems way too high.

There are not less marriages and more divorces with college educated people. This was discussed already with stats to show it. More college women are marrying than non college women. More college women are staying married than non college women. Of those that get divorced which is a smaller group than the non college educated women, 90 percent of the filings are by women. So when these women divorce they are doing so to protect their assets and they have the means to pay. That’s all this statistic is saying

But blue collar men & women aren’t marrying, by and large. Upper middle & upper class men and women are marrying one another.

I married a man who was working on his college degree but did not have one yet. Big deal. I had a masters.

I would not have.

Why? He makes good money now, enough that I could quit my job and not have to work. We are not wealthy, but comfortable. He's a great husband and father. I'd take that any day over someone extremely wealthy but a lousy husband and father. I have everything I need and want within reason.

[Anonymous]

After ten years of marraige and a husband who is making good money, they will benefit financially from divorcing. A man is the plan works out if you married a man who now will need to give you 50% of everything they have and that is enough to get you set up for the next phase of life. Far more women walk away from marriages with money and assets they didn't earn than men do.

Men don't benefit financially from divorce and often they also have to fight to get equal access to their kids - since they weren't able to be at home as much due to being out making the money necessary for their family to live on and to build up the savings. Women are seen as the default parent regardless of circumstance and also get 50% of all the assets. So of course women file and men don't.

[Anonymous]

Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. Women have higher expectations for marriage. It's as simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. Women have higher expectations for marriage. It's as simple as that.

I disagree with this -- I think women have unrealistic expectations for marriage, particularly post-kids. They let the intimacy wither and die and then wonder why DH isn't feeling romantic/connected with them. I know lots of women who also make parenting choices that trap them into "Mom does it all" dynamics but they won't do anything to extricate themselves from those patterns because of...anxiety? Control issues? Internalized misogyny?

If you don't tolerate dead bedrooms, and if you don't create parenting dynamics and patterns that trap you into resentment, you're much more likely to have a successful marriage.

-woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think disillusionment is more common in this cohort than in others.

Yes, because:

- they can make their own money, and they know it;

- they dated around more during college, so they know they are desired by many men;

- they know how to access divorce lawyers / more likely to afford one;

- they probably know one or more friends who’ve gotten divorced/ they have support;

- they took feminism 101 and have secretly looked down on men ever since;

- they listen to NPR and/or read the WaPo (or similar) and those sources constantly deride American men.

Next.

You forgot:

- they majored in Gender Studies
- they became radicalized in college
- they joined the Feminazis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The title of this post is entirely misleading. 90 percent of divorces are not filed by college educated women. Only 90 of divorces between college educated people are filed by women. It’s not 90 percent of all divorces.

And it’s actually 70% if you go back to page 4 or 5 the stats are provided correctly.

We are talking 13 out of 100 people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After ten years of marraige and a husband who is making good money, they will benefit financially from divorcing. A man is the plan works out if you married a man who now will need to give you 50% of everything they have and that is enough to get you set up for the next phase of life. Far more women walk away from marriages with money and assets they didn't earn than men do.

Men don't benefit financially from divorce and often they also have to fight to get equal access to their kids - since they weren't able to be at home as much due to being out making the money necessary for their family to live on and to build up the savings. Women are seen as the default parent regardless of circumstance and also get 50% of all the assets. So of course women file and men don't.

Default is 50/50 with custody. Men do not have to fight at all for equal access. Get with the times.