Disclosing atheism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you OP. It was rude of your neighbor to assume you go to church and to ask you about such a personal matter (your religion). People need to start realizing that not everyone practices a religion and that’s okay.

I'd say it was wrong, but not rude of the neighbor to assume OP was religious. Not rude, because currently, in our society, people, especially nice people like OP, are assumed to be religious. That is changing, especially with the help of people like OP who openly state their atheism.

Also, after this shock, I doubt the neighbor will ever again assume that the nice person they're talking to is religious.

It's a culture shift.

[Anonymous]

Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness.

In my opinion, ignorance can be an excuse for rudeness. Once.

You can't be kind about something you don't know about. In our society, where people are assumed to be religious or to shield their atheism, it could be that nothing led the new neighbor to think that OP was anything but a church goer.

OP's reaction - telling their neighbor that they are an atheist, will hopefully change the neighbor's behavior and attitudes. Maybe they won't just automatically assume that the nice people around them are church-goers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness.

In my opinion, ignorance can be an excuse for rudeness. Once.

You can't be kind about something you don't know about. In our society, where people are assumed to be religious or to shield their atheism, it could be that nothing led the new neighbor to think that OP was anything but a church goer.

OP's reaction - telling their neighbor that they are an atheist, will hopefully change the neighbor's behavior and attitudes. Maybe they won't just automatically assume that the nice people around them are church-goers.

Or you can just be kind to everyone, regardless of your own ignorance.

It’s no excuse.

[Anonymous]

First world problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness.

In my opinion, ignorance can be an excuse for rudeness. Once.

You can't be kind about something you don't know about. In our society, where people are assumed to be religious or to shield their atheism, it could be that nothing led the new neighbor to think that OP was anything but a church goer.

OP's reaction - telling their neighbor that they are an atheist, will hopefully change the neighbor's behavior and attitudes. Maybe they won't just automatically assume that the nice people around them are church-goers.

Or you can just be kind to everyone, regardless of your own ignorance.

It’s no excuse.

First you have to know you're ignorant. Hopefully, OP's Christian neighbor now knows that and will be careful not to offend in all their interactions, not just religious ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First world problem.

3rd world countries are often more ignorant, because they are even more isolated from religious diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First world problem.

3rd world countries are often more ignorant, because they are even more isolated from religious diversity.

The ignorant savage, right? What a bigoted and privileged post. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First world problem.

3rd world countries are often more ignorant, because they are even more isolated from religious diversity.

The ignorant savage, right? What a bigoted and privileged post. Gross.

Your words, not pp's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignorance is no excuse for rudeness.

In my opinion, ignorance can be an excuse for rudeness. Once.

You can't be kind about something you don't know about. In our society, where people are assumed to be religious or to shield their atheism, it could be that nothing led the new neighbor to think that OP was anything but a church goer.

OP's reaction - telling their neighbor that they are an atheist, will hopefully change the neighbor's behavior and attitudes. Maybe they won't just automatically assume that the nice people around them are church-goers.

Or you can just be kind to everyone, regardless of your own ignorance.

It’s no excuse.

First you have to know you're ignorant. Hopefully, OP's Christian neighbor now knows that and will be careful not to offend in all their interactions, not just religious ones.

You can still be kind even if you’re discovering your own ignorance.

It’s not that hard. No excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

That's not what was said. Don't be hateful is the point.

There used to be a really old saying:

"One doesn't discuss religion, abortion or politics in civilized company"

It makes me think that the pp you're stuck in that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

That's not what was said. Don't be hateful is the point.

There used to be a really old saying:

"One doesn't discuss religion, abortion or politics in civilized company"

It makes me think that the pp you're stuck in that age.

The saying is actually money, religion, or politics.

Asking someone if they attend church is a polite social question. Debating their church or religious choices would be impolite. Asking someone their salary would be overstepping. Asking someone if they voted is ok-asking them to explain their political leanings would be impolite.

New neighbors talking about their lives in polite terms is not an attack. op needs to unclench.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

That's not what was said. Don't be hateful is the point.

There used to be a really old saying:

"One doesn't discuss religion, abortion or politics in civilized company"

It makes me think that the pp you're stuck in that age.

The saying is actually money, religion, or politics.

Asking someone if they attend church is a polite social question. Debating their church or religious choices would be impolite. Asking someone their salary would be overstepping. Asking someone if they voted is ok-asking them to explain their political leanings would be impolite.

New neighbors talking about their lives in polite terms is not an attack. op needs to unclench.

It was an odd question, for sure. But the big issue is the rude response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

That's not what was said. Don't be hateful is the point.

There used to be a really old saying:

"One doesn't discuss religion, abortion or politics in civilized company"

It makes me think that the pp you're stuck in that age.

The saying is actually money, religion, or politics.

Asking someone if they attend church is a polite social question. Debating their church or religious choices would be impolite. Asking someone their salary would be overstepping. Asking someone if they voted is ok-asking them to explain their political leanings would be impolite.

New neighbors talking about their lives in polite terms is not an attack. op needs to unclench.

It was an odd question, for sure. But the big issue is the rude response.


“At one point, a member of the new family was talking with me about how much they are going to miss their old church and I was empathizing how hard it can be to leave a community and make a new one in your new home when they asked me about my faith, where I go to church etc. I breezily said, oh, I'm an atheist, and tried to keep the conversation moving but they seemed taken aback - as if I had said something really impolite. “

above is from op.

The new neighbor was taken aback but didn’t say anything rude or make any unkind judgments- and that’s what op has her panties in a bunch about? That’s rude?

No. Op is a sensitive atheist who invited many people to her home and op was encouraging this conversation. It’s a regular get to know a new person conversation.

Every interaction atheists have with religious people is considered rude because religious people mention their religion or church? And op told her new neighbor she was an atheist and new neighbor didn’t know how to respond? That’s the pinnacle of rude behavior?

Face it- op wants to be offended. It’s pathological. Now a multi-day, multi-page thread about a taken aback new neighbor. Who didn’t utter a single negative word about atheism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First world problem.

Agree in a certain sense - all this melodrama around religious or non religious affiliation / We have lived in several developing countries and people who are struggling to survive have more urgent things to worry about.

However, I don’t think many people in developing countries where we lived in would be rude to neighbors who are acting as gracious hosts. They were on average far more religious than here, but people were sensitive to showing respect to hosts and appreciation for any kind gestures. Hospitality is extremely important in many non Western cultures.

At least that was our experience.

OP good for you being a great neighbor. I hope your new neighbor develops better manners along the way.