Disclosing atheism

[Anonymous]

op should speak with her neighbor if she felt she was rude-instead of complaining here. It’s rude to invite someone new to your home and judge them. Op isn’t a good neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It was an odd question, for sure. But the big issue is the rude response.

“At one point, a member of the new family was talking with me about how much they are going to miss their old church and I was empathizing how hard it can be to leave a community and make a new one in your new home when they asked me about my faith, where I go to church etc. I breezily said, oh, I'm an atheist, and tried to keep the conversation moving but they seemed taken aback - as if I had said something really impolite. “

above is from op.

The new neighbor was taken aback but didn’t say anything rude or make any unkind judgments- and that’s what op has her panties in a bunch about? That’s rude?

No. Op is a sensitive atheist who invited many people to her home and op was encouraging this conversation. It’s a regular get to know a new person conversation.

Every interaction atheists have with religious people is considered rude because religious people mention their religion or church? And op told her new neighbor she was an atheist and new neighbor didn’t know how to respond? That’s the pinnacle of rude behavior?

Face it- op wants to be offended. It’s pathological. Now a multi-day, multi-page thread about a taken aback new neighbor. Who didn’t utter a single negative word about atheism.

Yes, that’s rude. You really need that spelled out to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First world problem.

Agree in a certain sense - all this melodrama around religious or non religious affiliation / We have lived in several developing countries and people who are struggling to survive have more urgent things to worry about.

However, I don’t think many people in developing countries where we lived in would be rude to neighbors who are acting as gracious hosts. They were on average far more religious than here, but people were sensitive to showing respect to hosts and appreciation for any kind gestures. Hospitality is extremely important in many non Western cultures.

At least that was our experience.

OP good for you being a great neighbor. I hope your new neighbor develops better manners along the way.

I think the new neighbor's manners are not the issue. I hope that they learned that they shouldn't assume that a nice person like OP must be a church-goer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First world problem.

Agree in a certain sense - all this melodrama around religious or non religious affiliation / We have lived in several developing countries and people who are struggling to survive have more urgent things to worry about.

However, I don’t think many people in developing countries where we lived in would be rude to neighbors who are acting as gracious hosts. They were on average far more religious than here, but people were sensitive to showing respect to hosts and appreciation for any kind gestures. Hospitality is extremely important in many non Western cultures.

At least that was our experience.

OP good for you being a great neighbor. I hope your new neighbor develops better manners along the way.

I think the new neighbor's manners are not the issue. I hope that they learned that they shouldn't assume that a nice person like OP must be a church-goer.

Huh? Of course they are the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op should speak with her neighbor if she felt she was rude-instead of complaining here. It’s rude to invite someone new to your home and judge them. Op isn’t a good neighbor.

Hello! OP here. I am not judging my new neighbors or complaining about them. I was a little surprised to get a personal question about religion because we don't know each other well, but I wasn't bothered by it.

I posted here to get feedback on if I was being impolite by saying I'm atheist (when I was directly asked about my religion), because new neighbor was visibly taken aback - as if I had said something rude and slightly alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op should speak with her neighbor if she felt she was rude-instead of complaining here. It’s rude to invite someone new to your home and judge them. Op isn’t a good neighbor.

Hello! OP here. I am not judging my new neighbors or complaining about them. I was a little surprised to get a personal question about religion because we don't know each other well, but I wasn't bothered by it.

I posted here to get feedback on if I was being impolite by saying I'm atheist (when I was directly asked about my religion), because new neighbor was visibly taken aback - as if I had said something rude and slightly alarming.

Thanks, OP, for checking in. Hope you got some good feedback here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

This kind of bad faith comment is exactly why I cringe at people who announce themselves to be atheists. I assume it’s about to be contentious. And I’m usually right.

In contrast, DH comes from a Muslim family and I never have any sort of unpleasantness with them, even though I’m not Muslim.

You just keep proving the point, post after post.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

PP says we hate atheists because they post what they think. End period. Nothing in bad faith about it. That's what it is.

DP. You’re demonstrating the very problem. Nobody said people dislike atheists because you “post what you think.” You’re simply lying here. The post you quote says people dislike atheists because they *trash* faith and certain types of faith, and you see it here on a daily basis.

Is saying belief in your god and belief Odin is a god is the same thing "trashing" your faith?

Nobody ever answers questions like this, they just throw out their accusations, when the truth is ANY reasonable discourse about evidence for the supernatural and comparisons to other supernatural beliefs is met with outrage. You can't bear to have your beliefs questioned, I guess, even in an open discussion forum.

Could be that people are embarrassed to consider that their God is on a par with outdated gods like Odin, or maybe they're angry at the comparison and don't want to get in a fight with the type of person who would make such a statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

This kind of bad faith comment is exactly why I cringe at people who announce themselves to be atheists. I assume it’s about to be contentious. And I’m usually right.

In contrast, DH comes from a Muslim family and I never have any sort of unpleasantness with them, even though I’m not Muslim.

You just keep proving the point, post after post.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

PP says we hate atheists because they post what they think. End period. Nothing in bad faith about it. That's what it is.

DP. You’re demonstrating the very problem. Nobody said people dislike atheists because you “post what you think.” You’re simply lying here. The post you quote says people dislike atheists because they *trash* faith and certain types of faith, and you see it here on a daily basis.

Is saying belief in your god and belief Odin is a god is the same thing "trashing" your faith?

Nobody ever answers questions like this, they just throw out their accusations, when the truth is ANY reasonable discourse about evidence for the supernatural and comparisons to other supernatural beliefs is met with outrage. You can't bear to have your beliefs questioned, I guess, even in an open discussion forum.

Could be that people are embarrassed to consider that their God is on a par with outdated gods like Odin, or maybe they're angry at the comparison and don't want to get in a fight with the type of person who would make such a statement.

Or maybe they are unable to come up with any reason or evidence that their god is any different than Odin? Or explain why they would find belief in Odin preposterous but belief in their god logical?

And FYI the term "outdated gods" is very odd to me, I was wondering if you could clarify?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op should speak with her neighbor if she felt she was rude-instead of complaining here. It’s rude to invite someone new to your home and judge them. Op isn’t a good neighbor.

Hello! OP here. I am not judging my new neighbors or complaining about them. I was a little surprised to get a personal question about religion because we don't know each other well, but I wasn't bothered by it.

I posted here to get feedback on if I was being impolite by saying I'm atheist (when I was directly asked about my religion), because new neighbor was visibly taken aback - as if I had said something rude and slightly alarming.

You weren’t rude. You were asked a question and replied factually. Your neighbor was surprised and may not have met very many people who are atheists. It was awkward, but neither of you was being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you feel if they had that reaction if you had said "We're Jewish"?

Or "We're Muslim"

Or "We're Buddhists".

You'd have thought your new neighbors were inconsiderate prejudiced jerks.

Guess what?

I don't think the neighbors are jerks for reacting as they did -- they were just shocked - I think because they expected you to just follow their lead - because that's usually what happens.

Your wife is right that it would have been easier all around to just say you're not particularly religious, but I'm glad you were forthright about your atheism. I'd like to see that happen more frequently, so eventually people wouldn't be shocked at the response. They might also not talk about religion as if it's something that everyone has.

Sort of like the way a lot of society reacts to gays these days. It didn't always used to be that way.

Once again, all belief systems are OK to express, but not your atheism! You keep that stuff to yourself!

Shameful.

This reply is a joke or a bad troll, right? Because there is nothing shameful about a matter of fact statement like the one OP made. There is no shame in being an atheist. If people are uncomfortable with the existence of atheists, they need to work on themselves.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you were rude, OP. I think people are just genuinely surprised to find this out about people. My 23 yo has recently been saying he's probably an atheist or at least agnostic. Every time he says it, I'm a little taken aback. I don't participate in any organized religion myself, but I believe in God and consider myself spiritual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you were rude, OP. I think people are just genuinely surprised to find this out about people. My 23 yo has recently been saying he's probably an atheist or at least agnostic. Every time he says it, I'm a little taken aback. I don't participate in any organized religion myself, but I believe in God and consider myself spiritual.

Good sign, IMO, that your son is mentioning this to you. Suggests he feels comfortable with the concept and comfortable with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

This kind of bad faith comment is exactly why I cringe at people who announce themselves to be atheists. I assume it’s about to be contentious. And I’m usually right.

In contrast, DH comes from a Muslim family and I never have any sort of unpleasantness with them, even though I’m not Muslim.

You just keep proving the point, post after post.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

PP says we hate atheists because they post what they think. End period. Nothing in bad faith about it. That's what it is.

DP. You’re demonstrating the very problem. Nobody said people dislike atheists because you “post what you think.” You’re simply lying here. The post you quote says people dislike atheists because they *trash* faith and certain types of faith, and you see it here on a daily basis.

Is saying belief in your god and belief Odin is a god is the same thing "trashing" your faith?

Nobody ever answers questions like this, they just throw out their accusations, when the truth is ANY reasonable discourse about evidence for the supernatural and comparisons to other supernatural beliefs is met with outrage. You can't bear to have your beliefs questioned, I guess, even in an open discussion forum.

Could be that people are embarrassed to consider that their God is on a par with outdated gods like Odin, or maybe they're angry at the comparison and don't want to get in a fight with the type of person who would make such a statement.

Or maybe they are unable to come up with any reason or evidence that their god is any different than Odin? Or explain why they would find belief in Odin preposterous but belief in their god logical?

And FYI the term "outdated gods" is very odd to me, I was wondering if you could clarify?

Outdated gods = old gods that no one believes in anymore, like Odin, Zeus, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you were rude, OP. I think people are just genuinely surprised to find this out about people. My 23 yo has recently been saying he's probably an atheist or at least agnostic. Every time he says it, I'm a little taken aback. I don't participate in any organized religion myself, but I believe in God and consider myself spiritual.

Besides being taken aback, how do you respond to you son when he says he's probably atheist or agnostic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just say I’m not religious

True, but it's the easy way out -- sort of like a gay guy saying he's not the marrying kind (in the old days -- now people bring up their same sex spouse like it's no big deal.)

And it does nothing to help change the perception of atheists as nasty, bad people.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

Such irony.

“We wouldn’t hate the atheists so much if they would just keep it to themselves and not state their beliefs “

This kind of bad faith comment is exactly why I cringe at people who announce themselves to be atheists. I assume it’s about to be contentious. And I’m usually right.

In contrast, DH comes from a Muslim family and I never have any sort of unpleasantness with them, even though I’m not Muslim.

You just keep proving the point, post after post.

You know what would help with that? If hundreds of DCUM readers didn't click into the Religion forum every day to see atheists trashing faith and showing bigotry towards certain faiths. I mean, if you want to change the perception of atheists.

PP says we hate atheists because they post what they think. End period. Nothing in bad faith about it. That's what it is.

DP. You’re demonstrating the very problem. Nobody said people dislike atheists because you “post what you think.” You’re simply lying here. The post you quote says people dislike atheists because they *trash* faith and certain types of faith, and you see it here on a daily basis.

Is saying belief in your god and belief Odin is a god is the same thing "trashing" your faith?

Nobody ever answers questions like this, they just throw out their accusations, when the truth is ANY reasonable discourse about evidence for the supernatural and comparisons to other supernatural beliefs is met with outrage. You can't bear to have your beliefs questioned, I guess, even in an open discussion forum.

Could be that people are embarrassed to consider that their God is on a par with outdated gods like Odin, or maybe they're angry at the comparison and don't want to get in a fight with the type of person who would make such a statement.

Or maybe they are unable to come up with any reason or evidence that their god is any different than Odin? Or explain why they would find belief in Odin preposterous but belief in their god logical?

And FYI the term "outdated gods" is very odd to me, I was wondering if you could clarify?

Outdated gods = old gods that no one believes in anymore, like Odin, Zeus, etc.

This implies that they are all not real though, right? And that relevance is only based on the current number of believers? I assume you are not a believer yourself, with that standard. Fair enough.

And for the record, while their numbers are relatively small, plenty of people still worship Zeus and other pagan gods:

https://knowledgenuts.com/modern-greeks-who-still-worship-zeus/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odin_Brotherhood#