What kind of wedding registry do you secretly judge?

[Anonymous]

What's the answer? I feel like modern times call for modern solutions. We all live together and have the stuff to run a household prior to marriage. It's time to call a consensus and just stop this silly registry stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got an invitation from a coworker that had in all caps "NO BOXED GIFTS CASH ONLY" and to top it all off it was a dry wedding and I was expected to buy cultural dress to wear.

Why do people expect others who don't drink alcohol to serve alcohol at their weddings?

[Anonymous]

This is why I only give cash at weddings (actually I give checks because then I know the recipient received them and knows who gave it to them - sometimes cash/cards get lost).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got an invitation from a coworker that had in all caps "NO BOXED GIFTS CASH ONLY" and to top it all off it was a dry wedding and I was expected to buy cultural dress to wear.

Why do people expect others who don't drink alcohol to serve alcohol at their weddings?

Because they are hosting people and the polite thing to do is provide things that will make your guests happy. I served many things at my wedding and parties at my home that I don’t like but are things I know others enjoy. I don’t drink soda ever, but when we have a party I buy soda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve learned to just give cash in a card and not deal with registries except for showers. I think directly asking for cash is tacky tacky tack through (so that is all honeymoon funds, etc.)

I write checks instead of giving them cash. Also, since I have my name and address on the check they know who gave them the check. Furthermore, no one is able to steal the cash.

I give according to the reciprocity of the relationship or the cost of the dinner - whichever is higher. I write my check after the dinner is over.

Judging this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge cheap ones. With like Walmart spatulas on there. I guess I think that if I'm buying you wedding presents they should at least be quality ones.

I personally wouldn't even care if someone has sterling silver flatware on there. Actually I might be impressed and jealous of the sterling silver.

But when you are the poor cousin who just graduated from college it's a relief to see something on the registry you can actually afford. It feels like crap when the cheapest thing is $300.

You were invited to your cousin’s wedding, but your parents weren’t? If they were, why were you expected to come up with $300?

[Anonymous]

No registry. Say “no gifts please” on the wedding invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only judge people who register for honeymoon / trip expenses. Or who only have really expensive things on their list.

This sentiment is so weird to me. I feel like people are only against this because they’ve been taught it’s not proper manners. But really what is the difference between someone saying they’d like a snorkeling excursion vs. a formal china set? In fact I’d rather buy my friends a cool experience that they will hopefully remember 10 years from now more than some barely used dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only judge people who register for honeymoon / trip expenses. Or who only have really expensive things on their list.

This sentiment is so weird to me. I feel like people are only against this because they’ve been taught it’s not proper manners. But really what is the difference between someone saying they’d like a snorkeling excursion vs. a formal china set? In fact I’d rather buy my friends a cool experience that they will hopefully remember 10 years from now more than some barely used dishes.

I've really come around on this. We all have too much stuff anyway. But I usually give cash because they can do whatever they want with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only judge people who register for honeymoon / trip expenses. Or who only have really expensive things on their list.

This sentiment is so weird to me. I feel like people are only against this because they’ve been taught it’s not proper manners. But really what is the difference between someone saying they’d like a snorkeling excursion vs. a formal china set? In fact I’d rather buy my friends a cool experience that they will hopefully remember 10 years from now more than some barely used dishes.

I guess it seems entitled and bratty.
You claim you are so settled in your adult life you don't need things like china. Pay for your own vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I judge cheap ones. With like Walmart spatulas on there. I guess I think that if I'm buying you wedding presents they should at least be quality ones.

I personally wouldn't even care if someone has sterling silver flatware on there. Actually I might be impressed and jealous of the sterling silver.

But when you are the poor cousin who just graduated from college it's a relief to see something on the registry you can actually afford. It feels like crap when the cheapest thing is $300.

You were invited to your cousin’s wedding, but your parents weren’t? If they were, why were you expected to come up with $300?

Parents probably paid for their own gift and assumed the adult who graduated college would pay for her own gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got an invitation from a coworker that had in all caps "NO BOXED GIFTS CASH ONLY" and to top it all off it was a dry wedding and I was expected to buy cultural dress to wear.

Why do people expect others who don't drink alcohol to serve alcohol at their weddings?

Because they are hosting people and the polite thing to do is provide things that will make your guests happy. I served many things at my wedding and parties at my home that I don’t like but are things I know others enjoy. I don’t drink soda ever, but when we have a party I buy soda.

Cultural and or religious restrictions is a bit different than not liking soda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got an invitation from a coworker that had in all caps "NO BOXED GIFTS CASH ONLY" and to top it all off it was a dry wedding and I was expected to buy cultural dress to wear.

Why do people expect others who don't drink alcohol to serve alcohol at their weddings?

Because they are hosting people and the polite thing to do is provide things that will make your guests happy. I served many things at my wedding and parties at my home that I don’t like but are things I know others enjoy. I don’t drink soda ever, but when we have a party I buy soda.

So Jewish people should serve ham at their reception? If you have friends who hold certain beliefs (or who have former alcoholics in their family), maybe you can forgo the booze for one night and learn to have fun without it like they do...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only judge people who register for honeymoon / trip expenses. Or who only have really expensive things on their list.

This sentiment is so weird to me. I feel like people are only against this because they’ve been taught it’s not proper manners. But really what is the difference between someone saying they’d like a snorkeling excursion vs. a formal china set? In fact I’d rather buy my friends a cool experience that they will hopefully remember 10 years from now more than some barely used dishes.

They'll be posting on DCUM "what can I do with these dishes?"

[Anonymous]

I don’t like registries at all. Searching through them for something decent is a ridiculous waste of time. I don’t want to buy you a plate and a fork. I don’t want to buy you a cutting board and two wine glasses. A serving dish and a rabbit corkscrew? Please. You can get these items on your own.

I will write you a check. You can do whatever you want with the money.