What kind of wedding registry do you secretly judge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am getting married later this year and feel kind of...strange setting up a registry. Both my fiance and I are in our 30s and have lived on our own for years, but don't live together, so we're mostly registering for "upgraded" household goods (e.g., a nice set of dishes, matching glassware set, etc.) We are not doing any sort of cash fund and aren't adding "unusual" items that aren't really for the house.

Are we good? What kind of registries do you think are tacky?

Fund my mortgage registries.

[Anonymous]

I know one person who received a lot of gifts from their registry
Later they noticed that the gifts didn’t seem to have the quality they expected
Turns out, guests had bought cheap knockoffs that were almost identical to what was on their registry list

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I judge people who register at WalMart, or like. Gus' Guns and Lube or somewhere super trashy. I also judge people who only register for expensive things. Your public school teacher friends and bartender friends want to get you a gift too!

Just say you hate registries and go.


You judge people who register at Walmart, but you also judge people who register for expensive things. What exactly do you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to a wedding later this summer and on the wedding website was asked that in lieu of a gift, the couple would like guests to contribute funds for their honeymoon/so they can make improvements to their house. Keep in mind the couple is in their thirties and both work full-time. I find this incredibly, incredibly tacky and tasteless.

Well, we did this. I guess I find the whole wedding and general gifting culture gross and I would have rather done something with the actual home I live in rather than get some vases that would never be used. I buy many of my things secondhand which I’m sure is considered gauche by you but ultimately I care more about my contribution to making my wedding hoopla as sustainable as I could.

I’m PP you’re responding to, and I understand the utility and universality of cash, but still find the actual asking a bit tacky. Did you have a page on your wedding website that explicit asked for money, or was it implied (eg no registry?). I think it’s the asking that bothers me. Most people give cash/a check anyway.

We said “no boxed gifts.” We did end up with about 25% of our guests that gave nothing which was a bit annoying at the time (since we were plenty generous for their weddings) but understood we didn’t have a registry. I did google a former friend and saw she had a Venmo listed which I thought was pretty bold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to a wedding later this summer and on the wedding website was asked that in lieu of a gift, the couple would like guests to contribute funds for their honeymoon/so they can make improvements to their house. Keep in mind the couple is in their thirties and both work full-time. I find this incredibly, incredibly tacky and tasteless.

Well, we did this. I guess I find the whole wedding and general gifting culture gross and I would have rather done something with the actual home I live in rather than get some vases that would never be used. I buy many of my things secondhand which I’m sure is considered gauche by you but ultimately I care more about my contribution to making my wedding hoopla as sustainable as I could.

I’m PP you’re responding to, and I understand the utility and universality of cash, but still find the actual asking a bit tacky. Did you have a page on your wedding website that explicit asked for money, or was it implied (eg no registry?). I think it’s the asking that bothers me. Most people give cash/a check anyway.

We said “no boxed gifts.” We did end up with about 25% of our guests that gave nothing which was a bit annoying at the time (since we were plenty generous for their weddings) but understood we didn’t have a registry. I did google a former friend and saw she had a Venmo listed which I thought was pretty bold.

…lol…

Well you said you don’t need any stuff so you didn’t get any.

[Anonymous]

NP. If someone asks for cash and has no registry, is it then gauche on behalf of the guest to get a gift anyway?

[Anonymous]

The only registry I can condone is for a young couple setting up home, everything else is a grab-fest and I don't like them. Our wedding (early / mid 30s) we had a strict no gift policy. We just wanted people to come and enjoy themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m going to a wedding later this summer and on the wedding website was asked that in lieu of a gift, the couple would like guests to contribute funds for their honeymoon/so they can make improvements to their house. Keep in mind the couple is in their thirties and both work full-time. I find this incredibly, incredibly tacky and tasteless.

Well, we did this. I guess I find the whole wedding and general gifting culture gross and I would have rather done something with the actual home I live in rather than get some vases that would never be used. I buy many of my things secondhand which I’m sure is considered gauche by you but ultimately I care more about my contribution to making my wedding hoopla as sustainable as I could.

I’m PP you’re responding to, and I understand the utility and universality of cash, but still find the actual asking a bit tacky. Did you have a page on your wedding website that explicit asked for money, or was it implied (eg no registry?). I think it’s the asking that bothers me. Most people give cash/a check anyway.

We said “no boxed gifts.” We did end up with about 25% of our guests that gave nothing which was a bit annoying at the time (since we were plenty generous for their weddings) but understood we didn’t have a registry. I did google a former friend and saw she had a Venmo listed which I thought was pretty bold.

Was that your way of asking for cash? I could see how many could interpret it as a no gift wedding. I think what you wrote is tacky.

[Anonymous]

I think the “no boxed gifts” is super tacky. I’d be tempted to write them a poem.

I don’t mind the stuff for honeymoon. I had a friend who got married at 40 and they listed stuff they were going to do on their honeymoon so you could essentially buy them a nice meal at a restaurant they wanted to try, etc. I’m happy to do that sort of thing for a friend.

I had a relative that registered at restoration hardware and the stuff was so expensive that I found it offensive. Who do they think is going to buy them a $3000 end table? I can’t remember what we ended up getting but it was really hard work to find something under $500 that wasn’t like a single towel or something. When we got married that same relative gave us something that weighs a ton, takes up a lot of space, and we have never used. No one will take it for donation and I was unsuccessful in selling it on Craig’s list. I was a little tempted to get him something like a collection of pet snakes in return. But those you can give away.

[Anonymous]

Someone who runs a out of gifts under $100. If I’m a cousin not attending, but invited, I’m not buying you a full place setting

[Anonymous]

Anyone who says "no boxed gifts" or has a honeymoon registry.

I can understand not needing stuff, but then you can afford to pay for your own honeymoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds totally fine but I wouldn’t hesitate to add cash funds either. Some on dcum will say they are rude/trashy but they are the norm — I’m 32 and literally all weddings I’ve been to of people in my age group the past few years have had them.

I'm the OP, and while I completely get it, I assume that people who don't want to buy off the registry / don't see anything in their price range left, etc. will just give cash anyways.

This. You don't have to list cash on a registry. People will give you 100 dollar bills at the venue.

That is not universal

[Anonymous]

I honestly find it all ick now that we’re past the days of people going straight from their parents’ house to setting up a household.

[Anonymous]

You are immature and or insecure to ask this question. Sorry, but that is how it comes across (to a more mature adult).

It is your wedding. Put things on your registry that you would be happy to receive. That you need/would put to good use.

This is not some social media opportunity to impress/compete.

[Anonymous]

I judge them all. But your own stuff! Registries were for way back when people got married very young and when straight from the parents home to a married home and women didn’t necessarily work.