Is it rude if I don’t want my kid to go to a birthday party at 6PM?!

[Anonymous]

Terrible time to have a party for those ages. I’d go though and skip bathtime at night and not stay too late. I’m sure it will be a lot of fun for your kid but if she becomes fussy and is wiped out early you can always take her home early

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

Wow, you got me. I can eye roll too.
Op has another option. Decline invitation as it’s too late in the day. Not rude as the time doesn’t work for her tot.
Get over thin-skin.
XOXO

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

It's an invitation not a summons. No is a perfectly acceptable and non rude response. You are never required to attend.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

Lot of assumptions you are making there. Odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

She doesn’t like the time that it’s being held. You know that is a consideration for everyone. It is irrelevant if she wants to do it or not. The time is not good for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

Wow, you got me. I can eye roll too.
Op has another option. Decline invitation as it’s too late in the day. Not rude as the time doesn’t work for her tot.
Get over thin-skin.
XOXO

NP here. I would never act the way you're saying with a family member's birthday. You're giving terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

She doesn’t like the time that it’s being held. You know that is a consideration for everyone. It is irrelevant if she wants to do it or not. The time is not good for her.

Just what's needed. Another "all about me" person.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

She doesn’t like the time that it’s being held. You know that is a consideration for everyone. It is irrelevant if she wants to do it or not. The time is not good for her.

Then why does she want to make up an excuse? Just tell the truth.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

Wow, you got me. I can eye roll too.
Op has another option. Decline invitation as it’s too late in the day. Not rude as the time doesn’t work for her tot.
Get over thin-skin.
XOXO

NP here. I would never act the way you're saying with a family member's birthday. You're giving terrible advice.

She is allowed to decline and you saying it’s terrible advice is terrible advice. You cannot make demands of people to do things, commie.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

It's an invitation not a summons. No is a perfectly acceptable and non rude response. You are never required to attend.

Wow. I bet you don't have many close family relationships. You are "difficult."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's one event, one night. Take your kid, if it's not working out (kid is breaking down) then you say your goodbyes and go home. Lighten up, Francis. The world doesn't revolve around you.

Oh, but there are more than a few posters here who DO think the world revolves around them; and they're very rigid about their routines!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

She doesn’t like the time that it’s being held. You know that is a consideration for everyone. It is irrelevant if she wants to do it or not. The time is not good for her.

Just what's needed. Another "all about me" person.

And her child. It is all about one and their family when deciding on going to an invite or not. That’s the purpose of it being an invite and not a summons.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

It's your. Not you're. But please tell us what spell the 3 year old will fall under if he's not asleep by 8:00? Does the coach turn into a pumpkin?

Np. Too bad, it’s not up to you to decide when someone wants their toddler in bed or out by any time of the night. You’ll turn into a pumpkin before you ever get a say.

OP asked if it was rude. People are answering the question. What do you think the point of this is? She's not "venting" or "looking for support". Your skin is too thin for this conversation.

No, it’s not rude and you just cemented you are thin-skinned. Bye sweetie.

Boy you told me Anyway.....

OP has so many options. Send the husband, leave early, stop by briefly to say happy birthday. But skipping all together out of spite is rude.

PP. OP never said she wasn’t going out of spite. It has to do with the time. Reading is fundamental.

She wants to make up an excuse to get out of it. There's no reason she can't go. She just doesn't want to. People make time for the things they want to do. If it was her best friend she'd probably drop everything and offer to pick up the cake.

She doesn’t like the time that it’s being held. You know that is a consideration for everyone. It is irrelevant if she wants to do it or not. The time is not good for her.

Just what's needed. Another "all about me" person.

And her child. It is all about one and their family when deciding on going to an invite or not. That’s the purpose of it being an invite and not a summons.

Her husband has already decided they are going. This seems like a moot point for OP. Maybe the excuse is really just to get herself out of it.