Is it rude if I don’t want my kid to go to a birthday party at 6PM?!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

This. I can't imagine living my life with no flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your poor kid.

Lol OP will be back saying her kid is a mess if they stray from their routine. Except OP is the one who created that issue.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

This. I can't imagine living my life with no flexibility.

Or that she can be flexible on some things and not this. The party thrower should expect some turn-down with a weekday party at this time for preschoolers.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

On the other hand, if SIL wants to hold a weekday evening party for a preschooler, she should accept that some people might not be able to make it. Even if it's family.

+1. And to add the whole tell me … is so lame and tired.

+1 I am stunned by all the mean responses to OP and have to believe most of them are trolls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husbands sister is having her kids birthday tonight at 6PM at a ball pit/play gym park. The party starts at 6PM and dinner is at 7.

Her daughter is turning 4. My son is 3. 7pm is bathtime for us and he’s in bed by 8. It feels like a late birthday party and I really don’t want him wound up on cake and ice cream at 8pm at night. I really want to make up an excuse but my husband is adamant about it that he has to go and is expected to be there, I’m a little annoyed that my husband is being so pushy about it and that the party is scheduled so late on a weekday.

No. It can be too late for a 4 year old so the host will understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

On the other hand, if SIL wants to hold a weekday evening party for a preschooler, she should accept that some people might not be able to make it. Even if it's family.

+1. And to add the whole tell me … is so lame and tired.

+1 I am stunned by all the mean responses to OP and have to believe most of them are trolls

It's well known that the trolls are the ones who start threads about inlaw problems, not the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

Tell me you aren’t close with your family/are “that” SIL without telling me…

On the other hand, if SIL wants to hold a weekday evening party for a preschooler, she should accept that some people might not be able to make it. Even if it's family.

+1. And to add the whole tell me … is so lame and tired.

+1 I am stunned by all the mean responses to OP and have to believe most of them are trolls

It's well known that the trolls are the ones who start threads about inlaw problems, not the other way around.

Hi troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Similar to how you are being difficult. It has already been answered. You don’t like the answer isn’t going to change it. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Man, some of you are mean.

I agree that rolling with the change in schedule sounds fine and flexibility is great - in most cases. Our older one has special needs and at that age it would have been a rough experience to change his schedule and have thrown us off for days. OP hasn’t clarified but I would have been annoyed too at the party plan (and then gone anyway).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

Really? Your 3 year old wouldn't enjoy running around a play place an hour before their bedtime routine even starts?

Not if he is hungry and tired and cranky.

So feed him before the party. This is really not rocket science.

And the tired and cranky part? I’m not the pp who said I would decline.

How would OP know if the kid gets tired and cranky if she has never deviated from the schedule? And if she has deviated why not do it again and see how it goes? Nothing about this says kid can't even be in bed by 8 but there appears to be no flexibility in the routine which isn't really good for anyone.

You don’t know if op has never deviated from schedule.

OP says she doesn't want him wound up on cake at 8. How would she know that's a consequence? The sugar high is a myth anyway. She either has deviated before and knows what it's like or is talking out her ass trying to come up with any excuse to be difficult and stick it to the SIL. Which is it?

She doesn’t want him up later and out of his routine. Duh.

Why? Because she wants to be difficult or because she doesn't want to spend an extra minute with her son on a weekday? What terrible thing might befall him if he's awake at 8:01PM?

Yeah, because you’re “8:01” is so not disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

It's one event, one night. Take your kid, if it's not working out (kid is breaking down) then you say your goodbyes and go home. Lighten up, Francis. The world doesn't revolve around you.