Is it rude if I don’t want my kid to go to a birthday party at 6PM?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go against the grain here and say an invitation to a party is not a summons. I would probably decline such an invitation. Husband can go and take gift. Why make yourselves miserable?

The only one who sounds miserable is OP. Nowhere in her post did she say this would throw her kid off balance for days on end. Op just has an extremely rigid plan with her kid and seems to freak out if she has to stray from it. They can go for dinner and leave around 730. I guarantee OPs kid will be fine if bedtime is 830 and not 8.

I would decline the party because neither my child nor I would enjoy it. I don't see the issue with that and think OP's DH is the one being needlessly rigid and stubborn.

I can see we don’t value family in the same way. I would be really sad if my niece/nephew did not attend my son birthday party because it would delay bedtime. How sad

That’s because you only care about yourself. You are not thinking of your niece/nephew.

I would not have a birthday party at 6 PM, but if for whatever reason that was the only time I could find a place, I would absolutely expect my family to attend. It’s my child’s birthday so ai would be thinking about him before thinking about inconveniencing SIL for 30 min.

YOU are the selfish one.

The bolded is the most unhinged thing in this thread. You absolutely expect them to attend??

Also, there is always another option - another day, a different venue, cake at home.

[Anonymous]

I’d be annoyed too. My oldest dropped her nap entirely by 3 and was a disaster in the evenings. I can’t imagine someone being annoyed you didn’t come to a 6pm Thursday night event. My brother’s kids are on a way later schedule than mine and 6pm would be fine for them but he would know it would not work for us. There will be other parties!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

I agree with this. I would not mess with the sleep routines of a 3 and 4 year old for a birthday party. None of the children will remember who was there. Stay home with the kids and send the husband to celebrate with his sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Yep, you’re all right. Im not fond of my SIL for a number of reasons, mainly because she doesn’t believe in vaccines and she and her kids aren’t as hygenic as I’d like them to be. My son always picks up some kind of a bug like clockwork in the last 3 play dates he’s had with them.

I really don’t want him to go because it’s a week before his birthday and I don’t want him picking up another bug from this Petri dish of a birthday party.

Yes, I have anxiety and am neurotic.

Given this information, there is no way I would send my kid to this party. You know he is going to come back with strep, hand food and mouth, or lice. Something awful that is going to cause you to cancel your party. You will not get over it and you will resent your husband and SIL, when really, you should have stood your ground and said no. Trust me, I've been there with the dirty relatives who always make everyone sick because they are not conscientious with their own hygiene, nor do they disclose illnesses to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Yep, you’re all right. Im not fond of my SIL for a number of reasons, mainly because she doesn’t believe in vaccines and she and her kids aren’t as hygenic as I’d like them to be. My son always picks up some kind of a bug like clockwork in the last 3 play dates he’s had with them.

I really don’t want him to go because it’s a week before his birthday and I don’t want him picking up another bug from this Petri dish of a birthday party.

Yes, I have anxiety and am neurotic.

Given this information, there is no way I would send my kid to this party. You know he is going to come back with strep, hand food and mouth, or lice. Something awful that is going to cause you to cancel your party. You will not get over it and you will resent your husband and SIL, when really, you should have stood your ground and said no. Trust me, I've been there with the dirty relatives who always make everyone sick because they are not conscientious with their own hygiene, nor do they disclose illnesses to others.

+1. OP what did you do?

Also who has a birthday party on a thursday night?!

[Anonymous]

OP, did you go?? I think I probably would have said the 3yo wasn't feeling well and had DH go solo. Weekday evenings are hard enough without dragging a tired kid out to a party that starts an hour before bedtime. If it was a huge deal to DH, maybe eat at home first and then make an appearance but leave by 7pm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Its one night. I can't imagine going through life being this rigid and uptight

I take the opposite view: it's a preschool birthday party. Literally zero impact to skipping it, while sleep routines are important. And an exhausted toddler is not going to have a good time.

OP, your husband can go say hi, socialize, and bring a gift if that will smooth things over. But I'd keep the kid home. Likely your SIL won't care either way.

I agree with this. I would not mess with the sleep routines of a 3 and 4 year old for a birthday party. None of the children will remember who was there. Stay home with the kids and send the husband to celebrate with his sister.

Send the husband? As if he can't make his own mind up. The husband will be taking the child apparently. OP can just feign illness and make up the lie like she wants to avoid going because she can't stand her SIL.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

My son had a blast and was tired and cranky this morning. As expected, not a single child washed their hands before eating aside from my kid.

My SIL is not the type to disclose illnesses and I was just nervous the whole time, but my son loved it. I think I’ll take him back at some point maybe when the play gym is less busy.