Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Drive halfway & drop the kid off. Or drop them off at a buff add stop. Done.

Another bus stop. Wow are you from like the nicest place in earth. Our bus drivers will not accept a student not assigned to the stop. That’s been the policy for decades.

[Anonymous]

Sneak your kid onto a bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drive halfway & drop the kid off. Or drop them off at a buff add stop. Done.

Another bus stop. Wow are you from like the nicest place in earth. Our bus drivers will not accept a student not assigned to the stop. That’s been the policy for decades.

Make a fake bus pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Avoid carline - drop kid off a block or so from school. 20 minutes is too long

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly it all got too much for me and I almost had a breakdown. You can do clubs/ sports at school where you stay after but no more evening activities. My kids are tweens and teens and dropped everything when the youngest was 6.

Unless they are an elite athletes, colleges don’t care. So drop that argument. You kids sound average, this stuff won’t help them.

Wow, what clubs and sports can they do at school? Ours are only cut sports -- so if you haven't been taking tennis lessons or travel soccer since age 6, you are very unlikely to make the team.

XC is no-cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe find a safe spot to drop them off half mile away and have them walk the rest. Same with finding a safe pick up spot at end of day. Will help you avoid lines. Whenever my kid needed to be picked up I had her meet me at nearby plaza. Those carpool lines are the worst.

This. We drop our kids in the neighborhood and they walk the rest. No lines.

Yep. I remember all the years I was in middle school and early high school, I would have a walkable pickup and dropoff spot my parents could get me at if I needed to be picked up. A safe shopping center, outside a public library, etc. would be good options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also how big is the walk one? Is it big by precious snowflake standards of IRL? Could they walk home? Or ride a public bus as someone suggested? Also people love carpools. Be more aggressive - I usually start by offering a ride or two.

It sounds like OP is out in the suburbs (2 mile walk to school!). Doubt there’s public buses out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

Drive some backroute. Have your kid walk into a store first. Etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

I wish kids had more free time to run around the neighborhood with friends. They don't get that enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

Entitled mom raising entitled kids. You have a bus and you choose not to use it and waste the carpool line. You are the problem and you don't care. Such a grand way of parenting

And yes, not allowing a TEEN to ride a bus alone is insanity. NYC kids ride the subway to school and only have parent cards until Grade 3. They do it alone or with classmates after that. You are a helicopter. At least admit it. Raising another clueless dependent teen that will go off to college with zero common sense or street smarts. Guaranteed to be on anti-anxiety meds as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

Then you have made your choice. You don't get to then b*&%$ about the choice YOU made. Own it. Same with sending your kid to a private or magnet school that doesn't provide bussing from 5 miles away. Also a CHOICE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Maybe a private school? I can guarantee you that no public school employee has the time or motivation to try to "catch" parents dropping off a few blocks away from school. JESUS! Can you imagine having that amount of free time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Until a child gets hit and the police are called and the HOA complains non-stop. It is a huge issue at our school. Kids jumping out of cars and cars stopping short and barely pulling off and kids jumping out of cars. It also holds up the carpool line even more with random kids cutting around them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Drive halfway & drop the kid off. Or drop them off at a buff add stop. Done.

Another bus stop. Wow are you from like the nicest place in earth. Our bus drivers will not accept a student not assigned to the stop. That’s been the policy for decades.

Our bus drivers don't speak English and have subs half the time. They have no idea what is going on or who is who.