Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of your own moms would have driven you to school, even if they were stay at home moms. They bundled you up and off you went. And if you forgot anything. Oh well. If the school reported you late arriving to school, you were punished.

You learned to be responsible and manage time.

We are raising a bunch of babies

My mom drove me, to and from parochial school every day, even though there was a bus. I started K in '79.
So, you don't know everything, it seems.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

Entitled mom raising entitled kids. You have a bus and you choose not to use it and waste the carpool line. You are the problem and you don't care. Such a grand way of parenting

And yes, not allowing a TEEN to ride a bus alone is insanity. NYC kids ride the subway to school and only have parent cards until Grade 3. They do it alone or with classmates after that. You are a helicopter. At least admit it. Raising another clueless dependent teen that will go off to college with zero common sense or street smarts. Guaranteed to be on anti-anxiety meds as well.

Also, as I pay taxes to support the school (as well as participate widely in fundraising and support for the school), I do have an ACTUAL entitlement to use that kiss and ride any.time.I.want. So, you may not want to throw that around too much. I know you probably got it from "vocab for dummies" but still.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of your own moms would have driven you to school, even if they were stay at home moms. They bundled you up and off you went. And if you forgot anything. Oh well. If the school reported you late arriving to school, you were punished.

You learned to be responsible and manage time.

We are raising a bunch of babies

My mom drove me, to and from parochial school every day, even though there was a bus. I started K in '79.
So, you don't know everything, it seems.

Most private schools charge extra for bussing. Also guessing your mom had no job.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

I wish kids had more free time to run around the neighborhood with friends. They don't get that enough.

This was definitely true for my 8-12 year old, but my 13-16 year old needs supervised activity. People, teens need to be positively engaged or they will be negatively engaged....

My 16 year old drives (although I will acknowledge we are fortunate to be in a position where we can buy her a car) and has an after school job. There are 3 16-year olds on my 19 year old college freshman’s dorm floor.

In March? I can understand a 17 year old (with a late August/early September birthday) freshman moving into the dorms in the fall, but 16 is insane. And the fact that they are STILL 16 this late in the school year ( most colleges are done for the semester in just a few weeks!)
WTH?
These kids started Kindergarten at age 3 or just turned 4?

At 16, they can't even by cough medicine at the local CVS--I'd imagine there's a lot of things on/around a college campus a 16 year old can't do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nanny responding about the swim coach comes to THEIR home.

The entitlement in this thread is astounding

I’m the nanny and I’m not entitled! We live in California and this is very common here. Most families who hire nannies for elementary and upper school children have the means to pay for these things. It’s not my money, I’m too cheap to pay for brand name detergent!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe find a safe spot to drop them off half mile away and have them walk the rest. Same with finding a safe pick up spot at end of day. Will help you avoid lines. Whenever my kid needed to be picked up I had her meet me at nearby plaza. Those carpool lines are the worst.

That's what I do with my kids who go to WJ.
The parking lot/drop off loop isn't big at all, so naturally the overflow spills out into the roadway and takes up an entire lane of two lanes.

Right behind WJ is Giant and behind that is DSW... that's where I get my kids from and there's never any other parents in the parking lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

Entitled mom raising entitled kids. You have a bus and you choose not to use it and waste the carpool line. You are the problem and you don't care. Such a grand way of parenting

And yes, not allowing a TEEN to ride a bus alone is insanity.
NYC kids ride the subway to school and only have parent cards until Grade 3. They do it alone or with classmates after that. You are a helicopter. At least admit it. Raising another clueless dependent teen that will go off to college with zero common sense or street smarts. Guaranteed to be on anti-anxiety meds as well.

Ah, the memories..
I grew up in Brooklyn and starting in 4th grade we all took the train to school and thought nothing of it, as there were a million other kids with us on the train so headed to the same place.

We felt SO grown up too, like we really thought we were adults, lol.

[Anonymous]

* all headed to the same place.

[Anonymous]

This thread is full of typical DCUM mommies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

Entitled mom raising entitled kids. You have a bus and you choose not to use it and waste the carpool line. You are the problem and you don't care. Such a grand way of parenting

And yes, not allowing a TEEN to ride a bus alone is insanity. NYC kids ride the subway to school and only have parent cards until Grade 3. They do it alone or with classmates after that. You are a helicopter. At least admit it. Raising another clueless dependent teen that will go off to college with zero common sense or street smarts. Guaranteed to be on anti-anxiety meds as well.

Also, as I pay taxes to support the school (as well as participate widely in fundraising and support for the school), I do have an ACTUAL entitlement to use that kiss and ride any.time.I.want. So, you may not want to throw that around too much. I know you probably got it from "vocab for dummies" but still.

Ok Karen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nanny responding about the swim coach comes to THEIR home.

The entitlement in this thread is astounding

It sounds like elementary school kids and in CA, it's more common to have a pool at home. It would be for swim lessons as what, she has the entire team come to the house and they have a 50 swimming pool or larger?

She sounds lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Many schools do care. Parents who do this think they’re being so cute “beating the system.” Sorry, you’re not special. You can wait like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

This is similar to my schedule and most people I know are doing the same, or more. Sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Many schools do care. Parents who do this think they’re being so cute “beating the system.” Sorry, you’re not special. You can wait like everyone else.

Nope. You can wait, I’ll keep dropping in the neighborhood like I have for the past six years. There is no actual law saying I can’t. The neighbors can deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is similar to my schedule and most people I know are doing the same, or more. Sucks.

No, some of us actually have to go into work and our kids have to get themselves to school. Crazy concept, I know. The kids whine a lot less than the parents, as usual.