Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

Nanny here - I drop and pick up both kids at the same time. They have to wait. They will survive, trust me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Until a child gets hit and the police are called and the HOA complains non-stop. It is a huge issue at our school. Kids jumping out of cars and cars stopping short and barely pulling off and kids jumping out of cars. It also holds up the carpool line even more with random kids cutting around them.

And yet, it isn't illegal. Pulling over and legally parking on a side street and letting someone out is perfectly legal. The HOA can pound sand. Caveat Emptor. The school was there when they bought.

[Anonymous]

None of your own moms would have driven you to school, even if they were stay at home moms. They bundled you up and off you went. And if you forgot anything. Oh well. If the school reported you late arriving to school, you were punished.

You learned to be responsible and manage time.

We are raising a bunch of babies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

I wish kids had more free time to run around the neighborhood with friends. They don't get that enough.

This was definitely true for my 8-12 year old, but my 13-16 year old needs supervised activity. People, teens need to be positively engaged or they will be negatively engaged....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Until a child gets hit and the police are called and the HOA complains non-stop. It is a huge issue at our school. Kids jumping out of cars and cars stopping short and barely pulling off and kids jumping out of cars. It also holds up the carpool line even more with random kids cutting around them.

And yet, it isn't illegal. Pulling over and legally parking on a side street and letting someone out is perfectly legal. The HOA can pound sand. Caveat Emptor. The school was there when they bought.

There are many that get no passing thru signs and no stopping signs and yes, they can have a patrol come watch and issue citations. I have seen it happen and our school principal wrote up to warn families not to enter the neighborhood during drop-off and pick-up. So then I saw kids going out to the main road and jaywalking to get to a car waiting in line and then that car does a k-turn and holds up all the traffic again. It's wild what mommy best friends do for their bestie kiddos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

I wish kids had more free time to run around the neighborhood with friends. They don't get that enough.

This was definitely true for my 8-12 year old, but my 13-16 year old needs supervised activity. People, teens need to be positively engaged or they will be negatively engaged....

That is the biggest helicopter rationalization of control I have ever heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

I wish kids had more free time to run around the neighborhood with friends. They don't get that enough.

This was definitely true for my 8-12 year old, but my 13-16 year old needs supervised activity. People, teens need to be positively engaged or they will be negatively engaged....

I agree when talking about older teens. Younger teens like 13-14 they're still kids imo. I do think it might be wise to keep older teens a little busier, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve free time. Not all kids are trouble.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny and do all the signups etc for classes. I’ve been with the family many years and I’m all about making my life easy! The kids do afterschool sports (dance and volleyball) on campus. They do soccer at the park right next to school. I had to organize a team and a coach, but again, it was about making our life easier, so I was invested. They have piano, and the teacher comes to the house. Weekends they have volleyball 5 minutes from the house, again, on a team I created and organized. Swim coach comes to the house. It takes time to get all the teams going, but I’m not driving all over the city for soccer and piano, no thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of your own moms would have driven you to school, even if they were stay at home moms. They bundled you up and off you went. And if you forgot anything. Oh well. If the school reported you late arriving to school, you were punished.

You learned to be responsible and manage time.

We are raising a bunch of babies

+1

I am shocked at some of these reasons, or lack thereof.

Mom drives kid to and from school so they don't have to bike or walk
Mom signs kids up for a bunch of activities that are needed for either college or supervision
Mom then complains about carpool lines and having to drive their kids everywhere
Mom also complains that their older kids can or won't do certain things on their own like bike, take the free public or school buses, or entertain themselves correctly after school.

The irony is insane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

I wish kids had more free time to run around the neighborhood with friends. They don't get that enough.

This was definitely true for my 8-12 year old, but my 13-16 year old needs supervised activity. People, teens need to be positively engaged or they will be negatively engaged....

My 16 year old drives (although I will acknowledge we are fortunate to be in a position where we can buy her a car) and has an after school job. There are 3 16-year olds on my 19 year old college freshman’s dorm floor.

[Anonymous]

I realize this is a bit of a "let them eat cake" response but we hired someone to do the after school driving. It is still tricky because we have one driver and two kids, so DH and I pitch in too, but our driver does 80% of it. We found her on sitter city.

[Anonymous]

The nanny responding about the swim coach comes to THEIR home.

The entitlement in this thread is astounding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of your own moms would have driven you to school, even if they were stay at home moms. They bundled you up and off you went. And if you forgot anything. Oh well. If the school reported you late arriving to school, you were punished.

You learned to be responsible and manage time.

We are raising a bunch of babies

Oh please. 20 years ago walk zones were 1/2 mile and everyone got buses. Belt tightening has made moms the de facto bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

WTF. No school cares about this. We have an insane car line and people drop off in the adjacent neighborhoods. No one cares.

Until a child gets hit and the police are called and the HOA complains non-stop. It is a huge issue at our school. Kids jumping out of cars and cars stopping short and barely pulling off and kids jumping out of cars. It also holds up the carpool line even more with random kids cutting around them.

And yet, it isn't illegal. Pulling over and legally parking on a side street and letting someone out is perfectly legal. The HOA can pound sand. Caveat Emptor. The school was there when they bought.

There are many that get no passing thru signs and no stopping signs and yes, they can have a patrol come watch and issue citations. I have seen it happen and our school principal wrote up to warn families not to enter the neighborhood during drop-off and pick-up. So then I saw kids going out to the main road and jaywalking to get to a car waiting in line and then that car does a k-turn and holds up all the traffic again. It's wild what mommy best friends do for their bestie kiddos.

So you find somewhere it is legal to stop. I'm sure there is a place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize this is a bit of a "let them eat cake" response but we hired someone to do the after school driving. It is still tricky because we have one driver and two kids, so DH and I pitch in too, but our driver does 80% of it. We found her on sitter city.

There are a couple SAHM's of teens in my neighborhood who claim THIS is the reason they can't work at all, even part time. Its so transparent, not sure why they don't just say they don't work because they don't want to...