Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can they do music through the school (or if they are younger, wait until school offers it)? That seems like something that can be eliminated…

No music offered at our schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers often open up the most in the car because there is very little eye contact needed. Try to focus on it as time with them instead of just another chore.

Yep. The teen years fly by. I understand it’s a lot to drive everywhere, but the only time my teen will talk about stuff seems to be in the car.

They’ll have their license soon and I think I’ll miss this time together.

[Anonymous]

Avoid carline - drop kid off a block or so from school. 20 minutes is too long

[Anonymous]

No school band or school-provided transportation? Have you considered moving school districts?

You could reconsider which sports your kids do. My second shift is as a Mom-Uber shuttle driver and the seasons where we're guessing right up until the week before which days and times the rec sport practices will be are the worst. Easier when you know ahead of time what you're in for. Club swimming practices, weekly tennis clinics, dance classes... that type of thing.

[Anonymous]

Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

[Anonymous]

*that should read, now that they are older teens. They were still teens using Uber but young ones.

[Anonymous]

9:29 again. Sorry for the multiple posts but rereading replies and I have more suggestions.

Practice bike safety for your oldest. Mine is riding about 5-6 miles each way now. It’s good exercise.

We started Uber in 8th grade with friends. They would get picked up from our house later.

In house music lessons and virtual math tutoring. Or drop tutoring. Do they both really need it?

[Anonymous]

I feel this thread so hard. I am right there with you, and I do have carpools and I make my kids take the school shuttle (but I still need to drop them off, it's over a mile away).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they ride bikes if they can’t walk? I don’t think I would do the drop off and pick up if we are in a walk zone.

Riding bikes to/from school is clearly the solution. If you do not really want to solve the problem and were just coming on here to vent, then that is a different matter. These years will pass, and your kids will be driving themselves soon!

The bike idea is very interesting -- they have kinda nice bikes though, so I am worried about getting stolen. Maybe should invest in a beater from a flea market...

Or just get a good bike lock.

[Anonymous]

I spilt the activities driving with my DH - you can't divide and conquer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe find a safe spot to drop them off half mile away and have them walk the rest. Same with finding a safe pick up spot at end of day. Will help you avoid lines. Whenever my kid needed to be picked up I had her meet me at nearby plaza. Those carpool lines are the worst.

I don’t ever go into the carpool circle. My kids get in and out down the street.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

If you are doing all of these things because they are good for kids and good for college, you are wrong. My kid just got into great colleges with good merit money and he only did one activity in high school. He just participated in it. All of the running around is too much. My mom let me and my brother pick one activity and they had to be in different seasons. I did soccer in the fall and my brother did lacrosse in the spring. That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Drop them off/pick them up in the neighborhood of their school.
Eliminate one activity each.
Have them ride their bike. As you say, get beaters if you feel it's necessary.

I'm not sure what other options you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.