Working parents — driving is driving me mad…

[Anonymous]

My MS child has a 1.5 hour public bus ride with transfer and walking. He does it because I have to work and it gives me more bandwidth to drive to activities in the evening.

Your children can take public transportation one way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

Can you please stop infantizing school kids. They can walk or ride bikes to school. Your ancestors are laughing at you right now.

+1

You should have a sticker to be allowed carpool lane, especially in the afternoon. Otherwise you can pick up 20min after school ends. Car lanes are out of hand with smother mothers raising lazy kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

It's a terrible walking commute for most students, that's why carline is crazy -- almost everyone drives. It's a post COVID "bus savings" measure.

No the car line is so crazy because YOU have deemed it "too hard" for your kids to bike or walk to school.

This. All the helicopter parents have ruined carline and are now complaining that it sucks.

We live 5'ish (a little more) miles from school, crisscrossing highways, and in jam packed traffic the entire way. So, no, biking or walking isn't an option. I can and have dropped DC a bit from school but that doesn't always work due to location and other ES schools (2) right on the borders so there is enforcement there. Finally, Im not comfortable with my teen daughter riding a bus alone. I understand people do allow it, and that's fine. But that doesn't make it "helicoptering" that we don't. And the school bus is an almost 45 min. ride to go only those 5 miles.

So I drive (she sometimes carpools in the a.m.) and am in the drive line. If you don't like it, you can kindly piss off.

*Not comf with the PUBLIC TRANSIT bus, not school bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know the kid shuffling is epic in middle and high school years, but I am just losing it.

First off, our district expanded walk zones to a ridiculous amount and eliminated buses, so we (and most other parents) do car drop off and pickup. There is a huge slow carline, so dropping off/picking up each kid takes 20 mins per kid, morning and afternoon. So there’s a 7am and 8am drop off, then a 230om and 330pm pickup. We don’t live near any friends to carpool with —- I have not yet started knocking door to door to find a carpool but considering it.

That’s the baseline.

Then there’s the afternoon activities for 2 kids — Monday they both have music lessons, one @ 5, the other kid @ 7 with different locations (diff instruments and teachers). Then there is sports practice, just rec, 2x week and no luck starting a carpool there, @ 5pm. Then there is meeting with the math tutor once a week, at 6 pm.

We don’t even do much, but I feel my day is constantly interrupted by the need to drive a kid somewhere. We are not rich enough to afford a driving nanny or Au pair, and I know kids need to do these things as it’s healthy for them and helps with later college options. But I can’t wait until they drive themselves or the cars drive for me….

My work profit suffers, since I work an early shift starting at 6am so I am off for the afternoon shuffle. I would prefer to work a more normal day.

More of a vent. I know this is just a phase of life.

The bolded is your kid's problems, not yours. Set a schedule and they walk. Problem solved. Stop catering to make their lives easier and making yours miserable. The fresh air and exercise does them good

OP said it’s a 2 mile walk alongside a busy road.

And it’s not like we live in California — they will be damp, smelly, and miserable lugging their backpack 2 miles in DC weather

Can you please stop infantizing school kids. They can walk or ride bikes to school. Your ancestors are laughing at you right now.

Our ancestors ALL smelled terrible all of the time. In your scenario, just your kids will smell terrible.

My kids walk and bike a lot more than 2 miles a day and they don't smell. What the heck are you talking about? How out of shape are your kids?

And we wonder why the obesity epidemic in kids is so bad. And please stop with the "my kids get plenty of exercise in his 1k monthly sports practices!"

I'm in fantastic shape and if I walked 2 miles in the middle of the afternoon, moving it along not dawdling, as would everyone. Including your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Safety, is the obv answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried skewing your drop off time? If I drop at the very beginning of window, we sail through. As it gets closer to the end of the window, it takes forever.

This works in the morning, but not in the afternoon. Parents at our school start lining up 30 minutes early, which defeats the point of being first. OP kids just need to walk home. They will be fine.

I made the mistake of scheduling a 2:30pm appointment for my daughter and picked her up at 2:15pm only to not be able to get to the parking lot because the line for carpool was already too long. I had to go into the bus loop, put the hazards on and walk halfway around the building to the front door. Carpooling is beyond ridiculous anymore. 80% of those kids should be walking or on a bus.

Yes they should be on a bus but they have eliminated buses for huge swaths of our zone that aren’t reasonable for walking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean,maybe drop some of the evening activities?

One music lesson and one rec sport each? I really feel like we are not serving our kids well.

There are no neighborhood friends nearby, so no event they tend to just camp out in bedroom.

You said middle school? Are there extra curricular activities? We definitely created an expectation with our kids to be doing school-based activities. Band/ Orchestra for the music kid. Sports (there are no-cut sports) for the rec sport kid).

No school orchestra and no no cut sports (except cross country, ie running around the neighborhood).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MS child has a 1.5 hour public bus ride with transfer and walking. He does it because I have to work and it gives me more bandwidth to drive to activities in the evening.

Your children can take public transportation one way.

Why do you hobble your kid so much? Is your zoned school that bad? 3 hrs on the bus???

[Anonymous]

If you are in the walk zone - your kids can walk. Or get a ride from a friend who drives. Or get a ride to a place with public transit. Or get a bike.

This doesn’t solve the activities in the evening, but there is no way I am spending 2 hours a day to drop off and pick up kids who can walk or bike to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Driving was too much for me when buses were reduced during and after covid. We don’t work from home so we could not drop off and pick up at arrival and dismissal with the lines and keep our jobs. Here’s how we made it work. Judge away.

If we dropped off, we did it a few blocks away and they walked. No, it wasn’t allowed and no, no one ever said anything. It’s how we got to school on time.

On the way home, they often took an Uber. We shared with friends so they went together. Again, they walked a few blocks away for pick up since they couldn’t pick up at school.

Now a couple of years later, they are teens and ride their bikes. I’m not concerned anymore with the long ride and busy roads since they are older.

There were no public bus options.

Kid is a walker, you tell the school, and do drop off and pick up down the road.

People in carpool lines are the worst. I still will never understand WTF the kid is just putting on his shoes and then has to walk to the trunk to get his backpack and hem and haw and then mom has to talk to him for 10 minutes before they finally pull off (and this is even middle school/high school!!!)). My kids are ready to jump out of the plane when I pull up and the car barely stops moving...READY? JUMP! ...Same at pick up---hop in..SHUT THE DOOR! and pull off

If everyone were cognizant and didn't sit there idling like a bunch of dumb *sses it would move much quicker.

But, it doesn't. So you get creative and say hey 'I will pick you up every day at corner of X&Y'.

Not tenable for us, our school gives detention if they find you are a "car-walker" and they have lookouts around the neighborhood.

What? This is bonkers. Why would the school care?

Because it gets cars and kids being dropped off all over the place and usually ends up with a kid being dropped off on wrong side of street and hit by a carpooler jetting off as they cross the street. The carline sets clear expectations of where kids can emerge from cars and where cars go.

[Anonymous]

Drive halfway & drop the kid off. Or drop them off at a buff add stop. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in the walk zone - your kids can walk. Or get a ride from a friend who drives. Or get a ride to a place with public transit. Or get a bike.

This doesn’t solve the activities in the evening, but there is no way I am spending 2 hours a day to drop off and pick up kids who can walk or bike to school.

Our kids would have had a bus in 2019 — the school district is expecting us to subside transportation.