If your spouse doesn't cook, or clean, how do you make peace?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I run most aspects of our family life. My DH earns the money, cooks, spends time with kids, and basically leaves everything to me.

I outsource lots of domestic chores and hire, manage and supervise staff. Both of us put our kids first, so childcare was one thing we did not outsource. I took/take care of my kids education, career planning etc. I also had a cleaning crew come twice a week for years but I dropped them in 2020. I do laundry and cleaning now.

We love the way our lives have turned out. We are financially comfortable now, but our standard of living has always been the same so for us life has been smooth.

Good for you🙄

Yes, good for me. Why the eyeroll though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I run most aspects of our family life. My DH earns the money, cooks, spends time with kids, and basically leaves everything to me.

I outsource lots of domestic chores and hire, manage and supervise staff. Both of us put our kids first, so childcare was one thing we did not outsource. I took/take care of my kids education, career planning etc. I also had a cleaning crew come twice a week for years but I dropped them in 2020. I do laundry and cleaning now.

We love the way our lives have turned out. We are financially comfortable now, but our standard of living has always been the same so for us life has been smooth.

Good for you🙄

Yes, good for me. Why the eyeroll though?

DP but why did you plan your kids careers? You sound very smug and it feels like your post is controlling “we love” instead of “I’m happy with” it lacks true emotion. That’s why the poster gave you an eye roll.

But hey if you (all) are happy it’s all good and you should ignore the eye roll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly that is too much chick fil a.


Here are some of my less than 10 minute hands on go-to meals:

Frozen lasagna + salad
Chicken nuggets, box Mac (I do it in the microwave) and roasted broccoli.
Quesadilla with cheese, canned beans, and spinach
Baked boneless/skinless chicken thighs, rice, broccoli. I do the chicken thighs in soy sauce + chili garlic paste.
Kitchn instant pot spaghetti
Trader Joe’s orange chicken and fried rice
Trader Joe’s sweet potato gnocchi, skirt steak, green beans (microwave)

Most of the food on your list is just as unhealthy as Chic Fil A.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM whose spouse doesn’t do any domestic labor. He “babysits” a few times a week, then takes a nap. The paid babysitters don’t leave a huge mess.

When I go back to work, I’m going to hire a part time housekeeper to replace me. It will be easier if we’re all out of the house more, but I still think we’ll need help beyond biweekly cleaners.

I hope we don’t end up divorced over it but I don’t know. The messes he leaves for me are so demeaning. They’re like little post it notes that say “f$& you.”

[Anonymous]

Yup

[Anonymous]

I stopped cooking for H until he started pulling his weight. Cooking is a LOT easier when you don’t have to make twice as much food.

[Anonymous]

Cleaning service once a week. Three people for 8 hours. Once the house is at the cleanliness standard is is easier (though not all the way) to get everyone’s buy in keeping things clean. We’re lucky that the you gets of 3 kids is also sort of a neat freak.

Chef comes in once a week for 8 hours. Does the grocery shopping and preps meals with heating instructions that gets us through the Monday-Friday. Everybody sort of gets their favorites—from the kid that would eat pancakes everyday for breakfast to the rest of his life to my fresh salads with roasted chicken.

I handle the cooking for Saturday/Sunday with one of the kids, but it’s something we enjoy doing together. We’re hosting a big party this weekend so chef prepped a lot of the things I’ll need for cooking (chopping the onions, cilantro, etc).

It is expensive, but it keeps our lives running.