Urging child to invite family friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The cruel responders on this thread tell us everything we need to know about the debased/degraded American culture. This is a large party - the family friends are essentially family. Ten year olds aren’t the center of the universe. It costs very little to be inclusive and kind. If the other kids aren’t hanging out with this kid, the adults make it fun for him/her. Maybe they stay 30 minutes or three hours. We have younger kids- but invite the whole class. This kind of nasty narcissism would not fly in a Latin family.

There is nothing cruel about not inviting someone to a party. NOTHING.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe all the responses on this thread saying the let your 10yo decide the guest list. If mom wants to include a family friend then birthday child needs to be a good host to that child as well as the other guests. Especially if this is a child without many friends I would go out of my way to make them feel included. And I’d make sure my child did as well. 10 is old enough to be kind and to be a good host.

OP I hope you invite the friend and I hope you teach your child to be kind to them even if they are “uncool”.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would be worried that the other girl would be ostracized at the party. DS is also 10 and I have definitely started to see some of the cliqueness start with both the boys and the girls. And if OPs daughter doesn't want to be friends because she's "not cool" and potentially also because of her appearance, I can see things going badly at the party.

Granted, I would also be having a long conversation with my kid about "coolness" and judging based on appearance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe all the responses on this thread saying the let your 10yo decide the guest list. If mom wants to include a family friend then birthday child needs to be a good host to that child as well as the other guests. Especially if this is a child without many friends I would go out of my way to make them feel included. And I’d make sure my child did as well. 10 is old enough to be kind and to be a good host.

OP I hope you invite the friend and I hope you teach your child to be kind to them even if they are “uncool”.

Then don't ask the kid who to invite. Simple.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not invite them. It’s time to let your kid make their own decisions.

No, 10 year olds do not make their own decisions. It’s fine for them to choose their guest list and also for the parents to invite someone as well. I’d invite her. If it were a small party, I would feel differently.

I agree with this, especially the bolded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I would not invite them. It’s time to let your kid make their own decisions.

No, 10 year olds do not make their own decisions. It’s fine for them to choose their guest list and also for the parents to invite someone as well. I’d invite her. If it were a small party, I would feel differently.

I agree with this, especially the bolded.

So if Op’s daughter were being less inclusive with her actual friends, it would be okay to not invite this girl. But because the DD wants to invite all her friends, she also have to invite this girl who she isn’t friends with and who doesn’t know any of the other kids at the party?

OP, I think you can tell your friend that your DD is having a school friends party this year. If you insist on inviting your friend’s DD, just be prepared that it may not turn out how you are hoping.