Unhooked kids - Why is private HS worth the diminished chances for top college admissions?

[Anonymous]

We send a kid to Maret and another to public. We like both for different reasons though I am upset about the future college prospects/competition for my Maret kid who works so hard and I did have college in mind (I know how dumb) for this one. Not looking as great in the past few years for the graduating class but similar to other top privates from what I see from friend group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

That isn't what I did - that's just what you took from it. As you can see what I wrote, i have a private school kid who is having a good experience and we think it is worth the money. You just chose to focus on the some of the experiences that I pointed out that addressed my point that a private school education isn't a panacea. I think this board frequently bashes public schools/students unfairly while deluding themselves that private schools are always better than public. If you can't see that point, that is your problem not mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

That isn't what I did - that's just what you took from it. As you can see what I wrote, i have a private school kid who is having a good experience and we think it is worth the money. You just chose to focus on the some of the experiences that I pointed out that addressed my point that a private school education isn't a panacea. I think this board frequently bashes public schools/students unfairly while deluding themselves that private schools are always better than public. If you can't see that point, that is your problem not mine.

I’m not PP, but I don’t think that’s accurate. There have been multiple threads over the past month or so on this forum about how crappy the college prospects are for private school kids, how private schools got rid of APs because their kids would do badly on the exams, etc.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. less of this type of stuff going on during the school day. There has been an active drug use problem during school at several of our local public HS and a fatal overdose sadly at one recently. Kids are also (per article) skipping classes to drink and drug over at Ballston. Since they got rid of SROs things have gotten out of hand. Fights as well. The drinking was at 9:30 am.

https://www.arlnow.com/2023/03/01/just-in-police-on-scene-of-near-fatal-teen-overdose-in-ballston/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think your kid will get a graduate degree, is a top college really that important?

You have way more margin for error coming from HYPS. At least for law school, admission to a T5/10/14 with average grades is fairly doable if your LSAT scores are strong enough. Whereas coming from a non top-tier (whatever that means) undergrad, you may need to finish in the top 1/5/10 percent of your class.

I don’t think this is still true. As colleges have become more democratic in their admissions, so have grad schools.

Have you or your relatives applied to law school lately? Not sure if one can get into a top law school with middling grades from Harvard or the like but you sure need to be in the top 10 percent of your class if you went to another college. And your LSATs had better be great, regardless of where you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it any better when you have 50+ kids from some giant Moco public applying to the same Ivy? Genuinely curious.

Seriously. Can anyone provide proof that an unhooked MCPS kid does better with college admissions than an unhooked kid from a MoCo private?

The difference is that a large share of MoCo kids aren’t going to college, and another large share will go to UMD (which is cheaper and also offers great aid) and another large share is hunting for a good merit or financial aid package (and the ivies don’t give merit aid).

Unlike at private schools, where parents have already been forking out tuition, fewer public school parents can be full pay at a top school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
-Privates also have a much higher URM ratio than most publics. At the top ones it's almost 50-50. These kids are gold for college admissions.

This is not true.

It's definitely true. Sidwell will graduate 40 kids this year who are URMs and very strong students. Will BCC? Whitman? Langley?
No.
This is tricky territory to talk about but it's true.

LOL....Each of those schools kill Sidwell in regard to URM. None of the top privates have a significant URM population. Clearly you know nothing about Public Schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In looking at college admissions and based on comments on this board it seems like most kids from top privates getting in to top schools are athletic recruits, donor kids or other heavily hooked kids. If your child is not hooked do you believe your child's chances are lower at getting into a good college from your private? Why or why not? If so, why did you decide to have your child in private anyway?

This Board is a small percentage of kids. So keep that in mind. These kids are doing amazing things. However, this Board diminishes the achievements and plays victimhood game. A lot of parents are simply not realistic about what their kids really is. So they tend to come up some fantasy as to why this or that happened. Plenty of kids from privates are being admitted to top schools with no so called "hooks." Focus on the best fit for your child and it will be fine. Don't do what you think everyone else is doing..plain and simple.

But they're not this year. Do you have a senior?
It not, ask one. Putting your head in the sand doesn't help anything.
Things have changed dramatically since even last year. Regular decisions are still pending so who knows what will end up happening but so far things are quite different.

No, I don't have a senior this year. But we have access to quite a few via friends, church, etc. So far two to Stanford, one to Northwestern, one to Vandy, etc. So your perception doesn't hold water for our peer group.

two unhooked DC private school kids to Stanford this year?

Did you seriously just take PP’s comment as representing what the entirety of the DC area private school population did, as far as Stanford admissions goes?

I’m now seeing how you people come to your conclusions.

Why believe any of the other complainers...

[Anonymous]

We are in private for the education and learning. We aren't in private for college admissions. I am 100% certain my kids will get into college no matter where they go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

That isn't what I did - that's just what you took from it. As you can see what I wrote, i have a private school kid who is having a good experience and we think it is worth the money. You just chose to focus on the some of the experiences that I pointed out that addressed my point that a private school education isn't a panacea. I think this board frequently bashes public schools/students unfairly while deluding themselves that private schools are always better than public. If you can't see that point, that is your problem not mine.

So you made the point that your kid tutors private school kids as their college because those private school kids are smart? And the ones who seem to founder in college being from private schools. You wrote what your wrote. It’s right there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

That isn't what I did - that's just what you took from it. As you can see what I wrote, i have a private school kid who is having a good experience and we think it is worth the money. You just chose to focus on the some of the experiences that I pointed out that addressed my point that a private school education isn't a panacea. I think this board frequently bashes public schools/students unfairly while deluding themselves that private schools are always better than public. If you can't see that point, that is your problem not mine.

I’m not that PP but that PP accurately and pithily summarized your post, and I say that as a parent with kids in both public and private. If you are defensive at the characterization, you should rethink your communication.

[Anonymous]

College is a total crap shoot these days, first off.

Secondly,
I send my kids to private because
1. I can afford it.
2. because I truly believe that they are getting a great education - much more holistic and healthy than my public education
3. the campus is awesome
4. their teachers are very attentive and helpful
5. awesome peer group

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet...you are saying one size does fit all.

I'm not PP, but saying that private is a no-brainer likely assumes that you find a school that's the best fit. Believe it or not, private schools vary just as much as public schools do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unlike at private schools, where parents have already been forking out tuition, fewer public school parents can be full pay at a top school.

But a large number of "top schools" don't require ANY family contribution for tuition/room/board when HHI is less than $100,000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:College is a total crap shoot these days, first off.

Secondly,
I send my kids to private because
1. I can afford it.
2. because I truly believe that they are getting a great education - much more holistic and healthy than my public education
3. the campus is awesome
4. their teachers are very attentive and helpful
5. awesome peer group

But mostly 1 I bet.