Unhooked kids - Why is private HS worth the diminished chances for top college admissions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First 13 years matter far more than the four years at college. I don’t need or necessarily want a top 25 school for DC. No one in our families went to a school in the top 25. All are very successful and happy. We have physicians, lawyers, vets and IT professionals in my cousin cohort. I don’t care where kids go to college. I do care where they spend their first 13 years as the develop into adults.

Exactly. Well said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First 13 years matter far more than the four years at college. I don’t need or necessarily want a top 25 school for DC. No one in our families went to a school in the top 25. All are very successful and happy. We have physicians, lawyers, vets and IT professionals in my cousin cohort. I don’t care where kids go to college. I do care where they spend their first 13 years as the develop into adults.

They can't develop in adults unless they are cuddled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First 13 years matter far more than the four years at college. I don’t need or necessarily want a top 25 school for DC. No one in our families went to a school in the top 25. All are very successful and happy. We have physicians, lawyers, vets and IT professionals in my cousin cohort. I don’t care where kids go to college. I do care where they spend their first 13 years as the develop into adults.

They can't develop in adults unless they are cuddled?

I think you meant “coddled,” but if you think all a good private school does is coddle kids, then it’s clear you have no experience with them and are not qualified to be part of this conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First 13 years matter far more than the four years at college. I don’t need or necessarily want a top 25 school for DC. No one in our families went to a school in the top 25. All are very successful and happy. We have physicians, lawyers, vets and IT professionals in my cousin cohort. I don’t care where kids go to college. I do care where they spend their first 13 years as the develop into adults.

They can't develop in adults unless they are cuddled?

I think you meant “coddled,” but if you think all a good private school does is coddle kids, then it’s clear you have no experience with them and are not qualified to be part of this conversation.

judgmental as expected. good day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

You're replying to me. My impression is it's much easier for my kids to be happy, well mannered and good stats (which all 3 are) in our current environment. Our public is too big and chaotic, no one cares about manners. You're right that stats would likely be the same. My neighbors have kids in public and they're also happy and well mannered. So I get it. I'm not saying public school churns out terrible people. I'm just saying how much I appreciate how built-in it is that the parents are supportive and involved, that dress codes/behavior/manners are expected, that classrooms are well run and focused.
It sounds like college is your priority. And if it is, I wouldn't advise you pay. No school is perfect. You'd end up disappointed with less than perfect, which is inevitable.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it makes it less or more likely than the odds from public in the abstract. But I think it makes it more likely for my kids specifically, because it’s a better learning environment for them to do their best, and gives them a platform and the down time to explore “pointy” interests.

[Anonymous]

Public school kids don’t look you in the eye. They don’t say hello.

Some do, those whose parents enforce it at home. But most don’t. At our private, just about everyone does.

[Anonymous]

Until you have experience with a good independent private school, you really can't be a part of this discussion. You have no clue (other than tired stereotypes and unrealistic movie representations) what these kids are getting from private and how amazing their experience can be.

[Anonymous]

Why people fall for trolls ALL THE TIME is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until you have experience with a good independent private school, you really can't be a part of this discussion. You have no clue (other than tired stereotypes and unrealistic movie representations) what these kids are getting from private and how amazing their experience can be.

I think parents who are scared of exactly this—that they don’t know what they’re missing—keep starting threads to try to rationalize their choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In looking at college admissions and based on comments on this board it seems like most kids from top privates getting in to top schools are athletic recruits, donor kids or other heavily hooked kids. If your child is not hooked do you believe your child's chances are lower at getting into a good college from your private? Why or why not? If so, why did you decide to have your child in private anyway?

Not all kids can do well in public as everyone is a unique learner. So private for HS works for some kids just to get them out.

Many parents ie religious want that component and are willing to forgo better college acceptances.

Some think their public is too dangerous for little Johnny & Susie, etc..

Some it is the saying to others "my kid is in private school" LOL

I have done both, by far public was better for college admissions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
-Privates also have a much higher URM ratio than most publics. At the top ones it's almost 50-50. These kids are gold for college admissions.

This is not true.

It's definitely true. Sidwell will graduate 40 kids this year who are URMs and very strong students. Will BCC? Whitman? Langley?
No.
This is tricky territory to talk about but it's true.

[Anonymous]

Not about 'college' about ENVIRONMENT and actual EDUCATION/LEARNING.

We chose a private high school with tons of community service requirements and values about giving back and morals that mirrored our own. We are independents/fairly socially liberal, but our local public school system really jumped the shark since right before Covid. They also teach down to the lowest common denominator. They refused to introduce new material to students during Covid because it would be 'inequitable' to the small percentage of kids in the County w/out internet at home (instead of finding a solution for the minority while maintaining standards for the majority). The 'men are the problem' message was also toxic to boys. The lack of control over iphone usage throughout the school day, the cover-up of incidents with fights or bullying also was enough.

Yes, my kids likely would have been fine as they are pretty thick-skinned, straight A students, etc. But, we really saw the decline in the education at our publics and with standards based learning and allowing assignments to be turned in as late as they wanted and multiple 'tries' (over and over again) so that everyone would get the same result on their report card--even if the same level of production/performance/commitment and understanding of the material was not there.

Add in the over-population issues at the school and paying for private HS seemed more and more attractive.

I have a Freshmen and Junior and we have been thrilled with their high school experience and feel they will be more than ready to thrive in college with the education they have received. The high school also mirrors the same approach we had since our kids were about 10---kids can be responsible for their own work and learn to advocate for themselves. Neither my husband and I have ever interfered with a school or intervened and the kids are self-sufficient. I have never been on Canvas or Parentvue(middle school) and they pull down top grades and manage their work along with their own extracurricular/athletic schedules.

My kids are so much happier and healthier at the private. The environment to learn and the teachers and the 'questioning' and going in depth and not strictly 'teach to the test' has been fantastic for my kids that were really bored in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In looking at college admissions and based on comments on this board it seems like most kids from top privates getting in to top schools are athletic recruits, donor kids or other heavily hooked kids. If your child is not hooked do you believe your child's chances are lower at getting into a good college from your private? Why or why not? If so, why did you decide to have your child in private anyway?

Not all kids can do well in public as everyone is a unique learner. So private for HS works for some kids just to get them out.

Many parents ie religious want that component and are willing to forgo better college acceptances.

Some think their public is too dangerous for little Johnny & Susie, etc..

Some it is the saying to others "my kid is in private school" LOL

I have done both, by far public was better for college admissions.

knife fights, overdoses in the school, drug use in the bathrooms, and threats to shoot up school don't exactly provide an environment conducive to learning.