Unhooked kids - Why is private HS worth the diminished chances for top college admissions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people need to be honest based on when their kid is enrolling private. If you are looking at enrolling for K, then you may say college admissions doesn't matter because it is honestly too abstract right now. 13 years from now might as well be 100.

I doubt anyone who switches to private for 9-12 doesn't at least somehow incorporate some thinking on college into the decision.

+1. Honesty is very difficult for some

So because people are saying that their motivations are different than you personally think they are, they’re not honest? OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people need to be honest based on when their kid is enrolling private. If you are looking at enrolling for K, then you may say college admissions doesn't matter because it is honestly too abstract right now. 13 years from now might as well be 100.

I doubt anyone who switches to private for 9-12 doesn't at least somehow incorporate some thinking on college into the decision.

NP. I switched my kid to private HS after three years in a “good” public middle school where ambulances were called multiple times for on-campus ODs, my kid wouldn’t use the bathrooms because they were dangerous, kids were vaping in classrooms, fight fights happened frequently, and my kid was assigned literally two books to read in three years.

College wasn’t remotely part of our consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Until you have experience with a good independent private school, you really can't be a part of this discussion. You have no clue (other than tired stereotypes and unrealistic movie representations) what these kids are getting from private and how amazing their experience can be.

I think parents who are scared of exactly this—that they don’t know what they’re missing—keep starting threads to try to rationalize their choices.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

Seriously. That was some pretty remarkable lack of insight from that PP.

[Anonymous]

Because our local FCPS public is a hot mess with a lot of undisciplined kids who create chaos and disruption in the classroom. My kid started there and completely fell through the cracks so we jumped ship in order to give DC a good educational foundation in a calm environment that was more conducive to learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think your kid will get a graduate degree, is a top college really that important?

You have way more margin for error coming from HYPS. At least for law school, admission to a T5/10/14 with average grades is fairly doable if your LSAT scores are strong enough. Whereas coming from a non top-tier (whatever that means) undergrad, you may need to finish in the top 1/5/10 percent of your class.

I don’t think this is still true. As colleges have become more democratic in their admissions, so have grad schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First 13 years matter far more than the four years at college. I don’t need or necessarily want a top 25 school for DC. No one in our families went to a school in the top 25. All are very successful and happy. We have physicians, lawyers, vets and IT professionals in my cousin cohort. I don’t care where kids go to college. I do care where they spend their first 13 years as the develop into adults.

They can't develop in adults unless they are cuddled?

I think you meant “coddled,” but if you think all a good private school does is coddle kids, then it’s clear you have no experience with them and are not qualified to be part of this conversation.

judgmental as expected. good day

But PP is right. You are making false claims, simply repeating what you've read on here about private schools, and you don't have the experience to know that this is a lie that you are perpetuating. Why are you doing that?

Except... I made no claims. I asked one question and was told I don't deserve to comment on. Am I not allowed to ask?

You made a claim that private school kids are coddled.

To be fair, that was a question, not a claim. Certainly not "claims." LOL

You didn’t ask “are private school kids coddled?” You asked whether the only way for them to develop into adults is to be coddled. Very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think your kid will get a graduate degree, is a top college really that important?

You have way more margin for error coming from HYPS. At least for law school, admission to a T5/10/14 with average grades is fairly doable if your LSAT scores are strong enough. Whereas coming from a non top-tier (whatever that means) undergrad, you may need to finish in the top 1/5/10 percent of your class.

I don’t think this is still true. As colleges have become more democratic in their admissions, so have grad schools.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First 13 years matter far more than the four years at college. I don’t need or necessarily want a top 25 school for DC. No one in our families went to a school in the top 25. All are very successful and happy. We have physicians, lawyers, vets and IT professionals in my cousin cohort. I don’t care where kids go to college. I do care where they spend their first 13 years as the develop into adults.

They can't develop in adults unless they are cuddled?

I think you meant “coddled,” but if you think all a good private school does is coddle kids, then it’s clear you have no experience with them and are not qualified to be part of this conversation.

judgmental as expected. good day

But PP is right. You are making false claims, simply repeating what you've read on here about private schools, and you don't have the experience to know that this is a lie that you are perpetuating. Why are you doing that?

Except... I made no claims. I asked one question and was told I don't deserve to comment on. Am I not allowed to ask?

You made a claim that private school kids are coddled.

To be fair, that was a question, not a claim. Certainly not "claims." LOL

You didn’t ask “are private school kids coddled?” You asked whether the only way for them to develop into adults is to be coddled. Very different.

LOL. Okay. I give up. Guilty as charged. I clap you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We do it for the 13 years of consistent education, the experience and connections made during those years and the community. Our public is too big, too anonymous, too many behavior problems and checked out parents. This is a gift to our children. The best education we could provide them and the environment to support a better childhood. I'm saying the quiet part out loud here- people are buying a prettier, calmer, more focused experience. It's not about college at all

If you could have a kid who is happy, well mannered, good stats..etc. in a public, would you still go with private? I am curious about "it's not about college at all" comment.

I am not the poster you are replying to but I will offer my experience. We had that situation with our older son and did not go private. He thrived in public school - loves the noise and hustle. Loved having large groups of friends who all lived within a reasonable distance from school and had a very active social life. High stats, good relationships with several teachers, very involved in EC and now at a highly selective NESCAC where he tutors many kids from well-known privates as a tutor for his college's resource center. Our other son wanted a smaller environment and less noise and stimuli. He likes his school and his teachers and we think it has been worth the money. He missed having friends close by and that has created some challenges in his social life (which I believe is a very important part of well-being and development). Each kids is different so generalizations don't help much, in my opinion. And for those posters saying that if you haven't experienced an independent school, they shouldn't be commenting here, the same could be said for those same people commenting on the public school experience. I've had the experience with both and I can say that both experiences can be good. When I went to college, the kids that I saw go crazy and flounder were the private school kids. My college-aged son says the same. My friends who are professors and deans at various colleges love public school students - they have learned to navigate heterogenous groups, deal with large classes, are more adaptable, keep themselves on track, etc. Yes, there is some generalizing here but it is their experience shared with me. It doesn't mean private school is bad at all just that it isn't a panacea or a guarantee of a good school experience. I live 2 blocks from our neighborhood elementary school and have three friends who teach there. Trust me, there is plenty of joy there. I hear the kids outside throughout the day, I know what my friends are doing in the classroom, I see all the families gather outside on the playground after school for hours playing and talking. People need to pick what is right for their family but don't bash others for their choice (if they even had one) and certainly don't diminish the hard work of public school students who do well in some challenging environments.

Stop the bashing of public school students while I go on about how dumb private schools kids are.

Seriously. That was some pretty remarkable lack of insight from that PP.

+1. And the PP still has zero experience with a good independent private school. Just making claims off of someone who knows someone who knows someone.

[Anonymous]

As always DCUM always turns things into THIS OR THAT. There is absolutely no one size fits all to this question. You have to know your own child to know where and how they will thrive.

1. Statistically speaking-- your child's social aptitude is a significantly higher determinant of their future success than their grades. ( A students will most likely work for/ make money for B/C students when they are older)

2. Not all Public schools and private schools are equal...... If you have the financial means and your options are Deal/JR or private -- Private is a no brainer. Anyone that says they would choose JR, simply cannot afford (or would rather not pay for) private. If your choice is Whitman or Walls vs private... then your choice is a lot harder. If you put a social, smart kid from a good family in any of those schools they will, again statistically speaking here, have a very very similar outcome. This is when the whole "know your child" convo comes into play....

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of good colleges, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As always DCUM always turns things into THIS OR THAT. There is absolutely no one size fits all to this question. You have to know your own child to know where and how they will thrive.

1. Statistically speaking-- your child's social aptitude is a significantly higher determinant of their future success than their grades. ( A students will most likely work for/ make money for B/C students when they are older)

2. Not all Public schools and private schools are equal...... If you have the financial means and your options are Deal/JR or private -- Private is a no brainer. Anyone that says they would choose JR, simply cannot afford (or would rather not pay for) private. If your choice is Whitman or Walls vs private... then your choice is a lot harder. If you put a social, smart kid from a good family in any of those schools they will, again statistically speaking here, have a very very similar outcome. This is when the whole "know your child" convo comes into play....

And yet...you are saying one size does fit all. Explain why it is a no-brainer? There are actually a fair number of JR parents that send one kid to private (including Sidwell) and one to JR...and it's not because they can only afford or will only pay for one to go to a private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people need to be honest based on when their kid is enrolling private. If you are looking at enrolling for K, then you may say college admissions doesn't matter because it is honestly too abstract right now. 13 years from now might as well be 100.

I doubt anyone who switches to private for 9-12 doesn't at least somehow incorporate some thinking on college into the decision.

When public isn't working for your child you switch. It has nothing to do with college.