8 student deaths so far this year at NC State

[Anonymous]

NC State over enrolled and did not adequately staff health services to keep up with current demand of stressed out students. Five suicides in one academic year-heartbreaking. Sadly, this is not unique to this University. The mental health crisis is causing turmoil nationwide and the strain on mental health professionals is seen at all levels.

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe no one has mentioned the obvious.

Most of these kids are on track to graduate with a solid ten to twenty years of debt on their shoulders, into a society that doesn’t value them, doesn’t want them to have kids, tamps down their income growth to quash inflation, at the end of a youth spent being inculcated with the idea that the world as they know it is doomed and the solemn promise that they will own nothing and be happy.

I’d be pretty damn despondent, myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is in 9th grade and had one B+ on her report card first semester. Reading DCUM it appears she is no longer in the running for our state flagship, UVA. Why are we expecting kids to excel in every way at such a young age? Is there no room for error or mistakes? The pressure to be perfect academically, beautiful, popular, etc. at age 14, which is only compounded by social media, is leading to a lot of depression and anxiety.

So take her off social media.

It's hit the point that if you are not on Social media at 13/14 your kid will be a "weirdo" and left out of many social groups. So it's a catch 22 navigating this as a parent. So it can actually make the issues worse.

I’m with you in that texting is how they communicate but social media is a hard no. I’ll take the non screen-addicted teenager that’s capable of handling life decisions and experiences independently, can form in-person friendships, can’t think for themselves, can interact with professors in a professional manner, can find other ways to handle stress, and don’t spend their life comparing themselves to others. If they get into social media when they get to college so be it, but given their lack of interest at this point I doubt they’ll care that much. Your life is what you create, don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. There are other children that don’t use social media, your kid won’t be the outcast you think they will.

Thank you--but my kids are out of college or in college already, so been there done that. They have managed just fine, but I've seen way too many teens who haven't.

Where we live, there really are NOT kids without social media---kids get iPhones in ES, many are on Social media well before 13. We refused to let our kids join any Social media until they were 13 and then we tracked (had log ins, sat down and discussed stuff with kids). They knew we could (and would just to check) login to check on them. However, I can most definately assure you that a 14/15 yo without social media in our area would be an outcast.
Not that I let others dictate what my kids do---I'm quite capable of saying no to things that we think matter. We felt that it was much better to keep an open discussion about SM and let our kids join than to make them the "weirdo" who wasn't allowed.

[Anonymous]

I fully get the social media thing.

But, bear with me... is EVERYONE not a complete mess since like 2020? I personally have been reeling ever since the pandemic, Trump presidency, shootings that only seem to be getting worse, general shittiness of everything (restaurants, etc).

I notice people seem 100% unhinged while driving and in a lot of customer-service interactions.

This is not just teens who are on their phones too much. The world has sort of felt like it's been ending for 3-4 years.

I have been to SEVERAL funerals that have been COVID or COVID adjacent (including suicide) in the past couple years. I am barely hanging on by a thread.

Why should teens feel any better than I do in my mid-40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
So what's changed in the past 20, 30, 40 years that makes suicide more common?

just in the last 15 years. Internet, social media, and cell phones.

I have a 17yo, and she is a complete mental mess. for no reason at all, except having her nose in her phone 6 hours per day. I, and many parents try to fight against it with sports, structure, rules, love, support, guidance, etc, but we are powerless. Schools require computers and cellphones for activities, so they unknowingly set them up for mental failure.

They don’t require them, you allow it. You can request all work be done without a computer unless it’s absolutely necessary. You also gave them the device they have their nose in 6 hours a day.

That will not prepare them for college, where you cannot “request all work be done without a computer.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I fully get the social media thing.

But, bear with me... is EVERYONE not a complete mess since like 2020? I personally have been reeling ever since the pandemic, Trump presidency, shootings that only seem to be getting worse, general shittiness of everything (restaurants, etc).

I notice people seem 100% unhinged while driving and in a lot of customer-service interactions.

This is not just teens who are on their phones too much. The world has sort of felt like it's been ending for 3-4 years.

I have been to SEVERAL funerals that have been COVID or COVID adjacent (including suicide) in the past couple years. I am barely hanging on by a thread.

Why should teens feel any better than I do in my mid-40s?

I agree, I have no financial, relationship/family or health concerns. Have never experienced depression or mental illness and each month since Covid I feel less and less like life has purpose. It was like life shut off and I have yet to turn back on, just going through motions. And I suspect that is magnified 10x for college age students as they are burden with trying to figure out what to do with their lives. Fortunately my college age kids seem okay and happy but I feel like the bottom could fall out at any time. I hope NC State is able to prevent any more deaths this school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe no one has mentioned the obvious.

Most of these kids are on track to graduate with a solid ten to twenty years of debt on their shoulders, into a society that doesn’t value them, doesn’t want them to have kids, tamps down their income growth to quash inflation, at the end of a youth spent being inculcated with the idea that the world as they know it is doomed and the solemn promise that they will own nothing and be happy.

I’d be pretty damn despondent, myself.

NC State in state tuition is $9131, so I don’t think long term debt is the issue there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mental health crisis amongst our young people.

Why? How did it get this way?

It is the insurance industry that puts up huge barriers. It is so hard to get help. Once you kid tells you they need help it is so difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mental health crisis amongst our young people.

Why? How did it get this way?

-covid fall-out---reactive depression: "we're back to normal so why do I feel so lost?"
-social media, social media, social media

SOCIAL MEDIA

We all know people who go look at their friends FB pages then come back here talking about how inadequate they feel in their lives. It causes constant scrutiny and criticism. They interact with others with less depth and feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mental health crisis amongst our young people.

Why? How did it get this way?

Parents are stressed; less time with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mental health crisis amongst our young people.

Why? How did it get this way?

Parents are stressed; less time with kids.

there are ways to side step this rate race when it comes for college searching. get excited about lesser known schools/hidden gems/safeties. Don't drone on and on about how sally and joe's kid got into harvard. support your kids' attempts to find their own interests separate and apart from curating a college application resume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its 100% social media. That's the big different between when we grew up and how they are growing up. That's it.

I don’t think that’s the only change from when I was a kid. I think parental overinvolvement in kids’ lives, however well meaning is a big factor as well.

[Anonymous]

These kids probably already had undressed mental health issues that the parents failed to handle or did get them help but the help was not enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mental health crisis amongst our young people.

Why? How did it get this way?

Parents are stressed; less time with kids.

Gosh, I think parents spend too much time with kids - and that’s a big part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a mental health crisis amongst our young people.

Why? How did it get this way?

-covid fall-out---reactive depression: "we're back to normal so why do I feel so lost?"
-social media, social media, social media

SOCIAL MEDIA

We all know people who go look at their friends FB pages then come back here talking about how inadequate they feel in their lives. It causes constant scrutiny and criticism. They interact with others with less depth and feeling.

It's not social media. Mental health issues have existed for generations. You clearly don't get how it works.