Your "child" would be an upstanding human for making bad judgment to have sex with a person of questionable character and then denying their own child their name and support? That being said, as a parent i totally understand your devotion to save your child from a con artist. |
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How old are the adult children we are talking about?
I would be mad at my DS for sure, because his chance to "choose" to be a parent was already made when he was sloppy about protection. I'd work to get over it and support the situation as best we could. My DD I would let her decide, but I would most likely counsel abortion unless I really saw her and the dude working out long term. If he sucks, hell no, life it too short. Each year past 25 though my mouth would be getting more and more shut on the topic. |
| Im not taking care of it, so they will just be mad at themselves. |
This isn’t the 1950s, Madge. Anyone can get a DNA test to prove paternity. |
Not according to Planned Parenthood. It’s intended to be permanent and not recommended for teens. If it was this easy, I would have heard about other parents doing this. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/ask-experts/i-have-been-with-my-girlfriend-for-just-over-two-years-we-have-been-having-sex-for-a-rather-long-time-we-have-tried-a-variety-of-different-contraceptives-but-after-a-rather-lengthy-conversation-wit |
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When my childfree boyfriend was 30 he had to go half a dozen docs to find one who would give him a vasectomy. Ridiculous.
Donn think a doc would perform one on a teen. |
+1 |
| I would be furious as we had a conversation about it and he has condoms easily at his disposal. He also knows about Plan B in case of a birth control failure. Yes, I would be mad. |
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When I was 19, my gf got pregnant and she had an abortion.
So if DS came to me, I would be understanding. I would emphasize that he needs to put his GF and her needs first, and that this is NOT A MORAL FAILING. And that plenty of people have been in this situation before and moved on; there is no shame in being in this situation. In fact, there are probably dozens of women in his life that had an abortion but don't talk it about publicly. Basically, they are not alone But then I would also caution against using abortion as birth control. At that age, you really only get one slip up |
My husband had a similar experience. Freshman year of college, first semester, he was still 17. His 18 year old girlfriend became pregnant; she had an abortion. He carried condoms with him everywhere after that! Our children know this story; they know they are free to talk to us about this subject. |
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How did DD get pregnant? rape, ONS, BF? I would get her an abortion in another country if she wanted it. I would get her married to a BF if he was worthy and wanted to get married and had a future. I would let her keep or abort, as long as she did not derail her life.
How did my DS get someone pregnant? GF, ONS, rape? It would 100 % depend on what the girl want. He and us would make whatever restitution that is needed, My DS would have no input in the girl’s choice and he would have to provide/ marry her and take care of the kid etc if that what she wanted. If she did not want abortion but wanted to give the baby up, he would need to adopt the baby. If she wanted abortion, he would fly her out of country to get one. In other words, My DS knows that I would install the girl in our house as our DIL. so, he knows that he has to be very careful if he does not want to marry a girl he had consensual sex with. Also, a drunk woman or impaired woman’s consent is null and void. I don’t accept it. Yeah, my kids are too scared to get someone pregnant or get pregnant because I will be extremely harsh. AND If someone rapes my children, I will basically be on death row as a mass murderer. I have too much rage in me. |
+1 |
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Yes of course I'd be mad. We've discussed this many times. they are well aware of how to avoid and have options at their disposal!
Boys esp. need to ensure their own BC because you can't rely on other people. |
| No, I would be glad and would offer to raise the child myself. |