Calm my nerves -- Jr. with a 3.75, and mostly B's this quarter

[Anonymous]

When I was in HS I didn't give a sh*t. I don't even know what my GPA was, but I got A's and D's in HS depending on the course. I applied to 4 colleges with 80%+ acceptance rates. The one I went to was a good experience with smart kids. I ended up going to a competitive law school after working for a few years and now have a successful career, a family, and a good life. It will work out no matter what, your kid will find their place.

And I am writing this to ease my OWN anxiety, because I have a HS junior with good stats who is aiming for the most competitive colleges and a HS freshman who is just like I was!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I've totally lost my grip on reality.

My junior is at one of the 3 APS high schools. 4 AP classes and Intensified Science. She was pulling A's in many until the last few days, and now has dropped to all Bs and B+s in those core courses. JR also did a varsity sport this fall plus major involvment with another extra curricular, and different club sport for weekend tournaments.

Reality check: They will be fine, right? I think I've gotten so freaked out lately by UVA, William and Mary, Tech admissions horror stories that I'm internally freaking out. I know that they are particularly upset about the drop in Calc AB.

Please help me come to my senses before i get home from work.

What is the worst that can happen? So she doesn't get into those schools. She will go somewhere else. She could transfer to schools if she does well. But, the questions you should be asking are is she healthy and happy?
Please just be grateful for what you have and not worry about the college. Your dd could be on drugs or self harming could have cancer or any other terrible things happen. The fact that you are focused on her grades and not the person is sad.

Snap out of it!

[Anonymous]

Parent the kid you have, not the kid you wanted them to be. However their HS grades turn out, there will be a good fit college/program/job for them which they will enjoy and make the most out of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

Parent of shy introvert here as well - would you be willing to suggest the school where your DS went?

I’m not that PP but I would look to the northwest SLACs (Reed, Willamette, Lewis & Clark, Whitman, UPS, etc) or the midwestern SLACs (Wooster, St John’s, Grinnell, St Olaf, etc.).

I would avoid the northeast and SoCal schools.

Those are good suggestions but note that Grinnell had a 9% acceptance rate this year and St Johns is not in the Midwest.

Yes, but still good for shy introverts, which was the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I've totally lost my grip on reality.

My junior is at one of the 3 APS high schools. 4 AP classes and Intensified Science. She was pulling A's in many until the last few days, and now has dropped to all Bs and B+s in those core courses. JR also did a varsity sport this fall plus major involvment with another extra curricular, and different club sport for weekend tournaments.

Reality check: They will be fine, right? I think I've gotten so freaked out lately by UVA, William and Mary, Tech admissions horror stories that I'm internally freaking out. I know that they are particularly upset about the drop in Calc AB.

Please help me come to my senses before i get home from work.

JMU is calling her name

There's no shame in this. Lots of kids go there and grow up fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent the kid you have, not the kid you wanted them to be. However their HS grades turn out, there will be a good fit college/program/job for them which they will enjoy and make the most out of.

+100%

[Anonymous]

That chart - from my kid’s high school - just scared the bejeezus out of me. 50-60% acceptance rates to Longwood and Radford? WTF? I so do not want to ride my kid for every point, and I am trying to teach him to advocate for himself. But my kid is fundamentally not the kind of kid who will be getting As in all AP classes. He does pretty well in on-grade classes (right now has low As in all but one). We also cannot afford to do full pay at an out of state SLAC, so looking at the in state options it just scares me.