Calm my nerves -- Jr. with a 3.75, and mostly B's this quarter

[Anonymous]

OP: Thanks all. Need to stay off of these boards for awhile I think!

[Anonymous]

I agree with other posters. While you are in the thick of it (although technically you are not even there yet with a junior), it is easy to get sucked into the rabbit hole of expectations, but during/after senior year, when everyone has found a school, the great majority of kids love where they go and thrive. You just have to get your head into the right space. There are so many great schools, and most college freshman feel it all worked out and that is because there are MANY places that are great. The second and third options would likely have ended up great as well.
Your child can only do their best, so be supportive of that as there is no more they can do. You have a long way to go before applications and decisions are in so don't burn yourself and your child out too quickly. It is very intense during the application process and a long wait until the results. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are effing nuts. Seriously.

+1

I feel like this thread is an object example into why so many teens have anxiety and depression.

OP, for Thanksgiving this year, sit down and write your junior a letter telling her what you love about her as a person. Do not mention college. Do not mention academics. Don’t tell her you only love her because she is so smart and does so well in school. Make yourself think about who she is as a whole person and how amazing that person is, and write it down. Then give her the letter for Thanksgiving.

And for God’s sake stop freaking out.

[Anonymous]

He is going to be ok. He will land up in his state flagship public college and do very well.

I am the mom of college freshman who was high-achiever in HS. Chose to go to state flagship and is super happy there. Your kid with 3.75 is like most of his classmates in college who are doing well too. As long as your kid is mentally and physically healthy, he will do well and thrive. There are so many colleges in US, you should not even worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is going to be ok. He will land up in his state flagship public college and do very well.

I am the mom of college freshman who was high-achiever in HS. Chose to go to state flagship and is super happy there. Your kid with 3.75 is like most of his classmates in college who are doing well too. As long as your kid is mentally and physically healthy, he will do well and thrive. There are so many colleges in US, you should not even worry.

Not in Virginia, but that's fine. VA has a lot of great colleges and he could also end up at another state's flagship.

[Anonymous]

My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

[Anonymous]

Parent of FCPS jr and I totally hear you OP. This area makes parents and kids crazy. I have a constant refrain of “let it go” in my head when I start to get stressed because my DS is super bright but just not quite getting to As in a number of tough classes.

Our kids will succeed. There are a lot of good schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

Parent of shy introvert here as well - would you be willing to suggest the school where your DS went?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

Parent of shy introvert here as well - would you be willing to suggest the school where your DS went?

I’m not that PP but I would look to the northwest SLACs (Reed, Willamette, Lewis & Clark, Whitman, UPS, etc) or the midwestern SLACs (Wooster, St John’s, Grinnell, St Olaf, etc.).

I would avoid the northeast and SoCal schools.

[Anonymous]

This thread expresses so much positivity and support! Useful info too!
Thank you all!

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of nice colleges that are open minded with entry. Check out Highpoint:

https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/money-and-power/a35561796/college-luxury-amenities/

[Anonymous]

FCPS parent here. I’m tryIng to translate a 3.75 APS into An FCPS WGPA. My guess is UVA or VT Engineering is probably not happening. VT Arts and Sciences may be possible though.

My kid is at WM, so two things to know:

One. They put a ton of weight on ED and demonstrated interest. My kid has a GPA at WMs 25% and was unhooked. Now, she had some extenuating circumstances: low grades clustered in spring 2020 (COVID) and some interesting, advanced course choices. She got in ED with a 34 ACT and strong demonstrated interests. Kids with much higher GPAs at their school we’re not taken in RD. Also, schedule an interview this summer. The “optional essay” is not optional. Try to do a fall focus day.

Two. If you waitlist at WM, you automatically get the option of a semester overseas through a private company or at a community college and a spring start with a 3.0. So, that could be an option.

And have her fight for every .1. Test corrections, extra credit, tutoring. If she can move some grades up even one step (B+ to A-) that helps. Don’t leave points on the table.

[Anonymous]

If your child is doing her best, just support her.

Your reaction seems over the top, to be honest. That is not healthy for her to see.

Believe in her, and believe that the ranking of the college she attends will not dictate whether she has a good life.

Really....just love her as she is. And try not to be SO invested in status and outward trappings...

[Anonymous]

Is it because you’re public VA state school or bust?

There are a lot ofSLACs where a full pay student would be welcomed with those stats.