Calm my nerves -- Jr. with a 3.75, and mostly B's this quarter

[Anonymous]

OP is pushing all her anxieties into her child. That's how teens end up suicidal and depressed.

Great parenting OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

Parent of shy introvert here as well - would you be willing to suggest the school where your DS went?

PP here - my DS is not a shy introvert. He liked the huge rah-rah state Us. His list included places like U of MN, Michigan State, U of Iowa, U of Delaware. But he ultimately did finish junior year strong and got into his 1st choice, Virginia Tech (not engineering) so he's going there.

[Anonymous]

W-L creates a report of the GPA/test scores/admittance by colleges. It can give you an idea of a range of schools that are welcoming to kids who are not straight-A students. This is the class of 2022: https://wl.apsva.us/wp-content/uploads/sites/38/2022/08/Score-Profiles-Class-of-22.pdf

[Anonymous]

I don't want to feed the crazy but I also will say that I wish I realized how much those stupid Bs can hurt. The whole admissions process is nuts, and unfortunately the stats can make or break a kid's chances.

OTOH I have a kid who is a freshman at a great but not tippy-top school. But he is doing really well academically and socially and coming into his own as a young adult. I don't think that would be the case if he had somehow found a way into one of the crazy competitive schools. As a parent it is amazing to realize your kid is on track to be a successful adult - really so much better than any sticker on the back of the car...

[Anonymous]

Throw money at problem with tutors, and maybe meet with teacher to find out why only Bs or where extra effort is needed. HW vs quizzes or whatever it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is pushing all her anxieties into her child. That's how teens end up suicidal and depressed.

Great parenting OP!

I’m sure saying that to someone you’ve diagnosed as anxious is super helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fellow parent of a student athlete with two Bs this quarter and I'm freaking out too. Really hoping colleges will take into account just how much time the varsity sports demand.

Top colleges aren’t going to give your kid’s grade a pass just because they’re a varsity athlete - unless they’re recruiting them. You are living in La La land.

[Anonymous]

A parent just told me last week that my 9th grader will not get into UVA if they ever have a single B on their transcript. I actually thought they were exaggerating, but maybe this is the kind of stuff OP has been hearing for years and it ratchets up the anxiety and stress. OP, just don’t get hung up on your kid going to UVA or VT or whatever. There are so many great schools!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are effing nuts. Seriously.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

Parent of shy introvert here as well - would you be willing to suggest the school where your DS went?

I’m not that PP but I would look to the northwest SLACs (Reed, Willamette, Lewis & Clark, Whitman, UPS, etc) or the midwestern SLACs (Wooster, St John’s, Grinnell, St Olaf, etc.).

I would avoid the northeast and SoCal schools.

Grinnell only accepted 10% of its applicants last year. It is very hard to get into. Try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You people are effing nuts. Seriously.

+1.

+100 no wonder kids are so messed up

[Anonymous]

Worth stating again...in APS, quarter grades don't matter. Only final grades. Don't freak out about Bs. Half your kid's quarter grades could be in the B range through their APS career and they could still have an UW 4.0....colleges only see final grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to feed the crazy but I also will say that I wish I realized how much those stupid Bs can hurt. The whole admissions process is nuts, and unfortunately the stats can make or break a kid's chances.

OTOH I have a kid who is a freshman at a great but not tippy-top school. But he is doing really well academically and socially and coming into his own as a young adult. I don't think that would be the case if he had somehow found a way into one of the crazy competitive schools. As a parent it is amazing to realize your kid is on track to be a successful adult - really so much better than any sticker on the back of the car...

As the parent of a senior, I sadly agree with this. In hindsight I wish I had encouraged DC to drop down a level in some classes to earn As because it does feel like even just a few Bs really knock kids down into a different rung of colleges (remembering that since semester grades are reported, your kid has time to pull up the grades). My DC's few Bs were always skirting the edge of A- but my kid was not good at talking to teachers about earning back a few points, versus some kids are masters at that and seem to pull their B into A at the end of a quarter.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. I’m seeing my juniors grades come in this afternoon, too. Not sure if it’s same as in your district, but in MCPS, an A first quarter and B second averages to an A. So it’s a big stress relief to get an A first quarter. When they just miss it’s a bummer as I was hoping for a less stressful second quarter. My DC was much less busy with ECs than yours btw. That’s challenging. Good luck to your DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it because you’re public VA state school or bust?

There are a lot ofSLACs where a full pay student would be welcomed with those stats.

NP here. Yes, I would say that price is a big factor. We are state school or bust