Calm my nerves -- Jr. with a 3.75, and mostly B's this quarter

[Anonymous]

For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I've totally lost my grip on reality.

My junior is at one of the 3 APS high schools. 4 AP classes and Intensified Science. She was pulling A's in many until the last few days, and now has dropped to all Bs and B+s in those core courses. JR also did a varsity sport this fall plus major involvment with another extra curricular, and different club sport for weekend tournaments.

Reality check: They will be fine, right? I think I've gotten so freaked out lately by UVA, William and Mary, Tech admissions horror stories that I'm internally freaking out. I know that they are particularly upset about the drop in Calc AB.

Please help me come to my senses before i get home from work.

OP, it will be totally fine. As Judge Smails said, the world needs ditch diggers, too.

LOL, savage, love it. Hey OP, your senses are correct, UVA and W&M are toast. Still a chance for Tech non engineering but not a guarantee. Plenty of great schools in VA, focus on JMU or all the SLACs that people babble about on this blog.

Life tip for OP: Never take education advice from someone who is proudly technically illiterate.

DP. What was "illiterate" about the PP's post?

DCUM is not a blog. The misuse of the term demonstrates profound technical illiteracy, and more broadly demonstrates that PP as someone who should not be giving out education advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't want to feed the crazy but I also will say that I wish I realized how much those stupid Bs can hurt. The whole admissions process is nuts, and unfortunately the stats can make or break a kid's chances.

OTOH I have a kid who is a freshman at a great but not tippy-top school. But he is doing really well academically and socially and coming into his own as a young adult. I don't think that would be the case if he had somehow found a way into one of the crazy competitive schools. As a parent it is amazing to realize your kid is on track to be a successful adult - really so much better than any sticker on the back of the car...

Lol ok.

Whenever I see this type of reaction on here, I really think it must be a teen troll bc I can’t fathom grown ups behaving like this IRL.

Well, you’re wrong. I’m a adult, and I’m amused.

Another one here. I removed the stick out of my a$$ a long time ago and life has been a lot more fun I tell you.

Oh I have a sense of humor. I just don’t need to be a passive aggressive a-hole online to make myself feel better. And it wouldn’t surprise me if you are responding to yourself PP.

Then you would be wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

Wrong.

Just another EC if you're not a recruited athlete.

Now, the AO know who to the recruited athletes are during the admissions process. There are thousands of high school kids with regular varsity sport ECs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

So did my kid in marching band. So did my kid on the robotics team. Your athlete isn’t all that special.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

So did my kid in marching band. So did my kid on the robotics team. Your athlete isn’t all that special.

NP here. Shouldn’t all activities be judged by time commitment? Anecdotally, there aren’t a ton of clubs at my kid’s school that meet for 20 hours/week every single week, which is about what his sports commitment is (he is a 3-season athlete). I hope colleges to value time commitment for any activity, say a part-time job, band or school play. I wouldn’t expect kid to get a bump bc it is a varsity sport (and guessing the commitment isn’t the same across the board) but rather because that is a lot of time, he is captain, has been on varsity since freshmen year, and won regional and state awards. And, for the people who question why my son isn’t a recruited athlete, I would argue that most interests (ie, band, drama, debate) aren’t recruited either. My kid will play club sports in college, same as kids who will take up their activities in college.

So not “special” treatment for sports but rather equal treatment with other committed interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

So did my kid in marching band. So did my kid on the robotics team. Your athlete isn’t all that special.

NP here. Shouldn’t all activities be judged by time commitment? Anecdotally, there aren’t a ton of clubs at my kid’s school that meet for 20 hours/week every single week, which is about what his sports commitment is (he is a 3-season athlete). I hope colleges to value time commitment for any activity, say a part-time job, band or school play. I wouldn’t expect kid to get a bump bc it is a varsity sport (and guessing the commitment isn’t the same across the board) but rather because that is a lot of time, he is captain, has been on varsity since freshmen year, and won regional and state awards. And, for the people who question why my son isn’t a recruited athlete, I would argue that most interests (ie, band, drama, debate) aren’t recruited either. My kid will play club sports in college, same as kids who will take up their activities in college.

So not “special” treatment for sports but rather equal treatment with other committed interests.

The “best” ECs will show impact in some way. The kid who got a state law changed or whatever. Schools need to fill their needs. So they may need a bassoonist. They need people to write for the school paper and star in the play. Recruited athletes are in their own league and fill the primary athletic needs. A sporty non-recruited kid might help keep the club or intramural sports going. Not super impactful. The hours dedicated do speak to their ability to get the academic work done with less time so that’s more of an academic plus. At SLACs in particular, though, which might be a third recruited athletes, being a non-recruited athlete likely adds less to campus to many other ECs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

So did my kid in marching band. So did my kid on the robotics team. Your athlete isn’t all that special.

NP here. Shouldn’t all activities be judged by time commitment? Anecdotally, there aren’t a ton of clubs at my kid’s school that meet for 20 hours/week every single week, which is about what his sports commitment is (he is a 3-season athlete). I hope colleges to value time commitment for any activity, say a part-time job, band or school play. I wouldn’t expect kid to get a bump bc it is a varsity sport (and guessing the commitment isn’t the same across the board) but rather because that is a lot of time, he is captain, has been on varsity since freshmen year, and won regional and state awards. And, for the people who question why my son isn’t a recruited athlete, I would argue that most interests (ie, band, drama, debate) aren’t recruited either. My kid will play club sports in college, same as kids who will take up their activities in college.

So not “special” treatment for sports but rather equal treatment with other committed interests.

The “best” ECs will show impact in some way. The kid who got a state law changed or whatever. Schools need to fill their needs. So they may need a bassoonist. They need people to write for the school paper and star in the play. Recruited athletes are in their own league and fill the primary athletic needs. A sporty non-recruited kid might help keep the club or intramural sports going. Not super impactful. The hours dedicated do speak to their ability to get the academic work done with less time so that’s more of an academic plus. At SLACs in particular, though, which might be a third recruited athletes, being a non-recruited athlete likely adds less to campus to many other ECs.

But I think the majority of kids aren’t those truly specialized hooks (like a bassoonist).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the 100th time, being a varsity sport and that includes being a captain of said varsity sport means nothing more or less than any other EC unless you are a recruited athlete.

Nope, I have to disagree. Varsity sports meet 6 days a week for hours at end. For the most part, they pale in comparison (time wise) to other clubs and activities. I think college counselors take this into consideration - perhaps especially for two or three season athletes.

So did my kid in marching band. So did my kid on the robotics team. Your athlete isn’t all that special.

NP here. Shouldn’t all activities be judged by time commitment? Anecdotally, there aren’t a ton of clubs at my kid’s school that meet for 20 hours/week every single week, which is about what his sports commitment is (he is a 3-season athlete). I hope colleges to value time commitment for any activity, say a part-time job, band or school play. I wouldn’t expect kid to get a bump bc it is a varsity sport (and guessing the commitment isn’t the same across the board) but rather because that is a lot of time, he is captain, has been on varsity since freshmen year, and won regional and state awards. And, for the people who question why my son isn’t a recruited athlete, I would argue that most interests (ie, band, drama, debate) aren’t recruited either. My kid will play club sports in college, same as kids who will take up their activities in college.

So not “special” treatment for sports but rather equal treatment with other committed interests.

The “best” ECs will show impact in some way. The kid who got a state law changed or whatever. Schools need to fill their needs. So they may need a bassoonist. They need people to write for the school paper and star in the play. Recruited athletes are in their own league and fill the primary athletic needs. A sporty non-recruited kid might help keep the club or intramural sports going. Not super impactful. The hours dedicated do speak to their ability to get the academic work done with less time so that’s more of an academic plus. At SLACs in particular, though, which might be a third recruited athletes, being a non-recruited athlete likely adds less to campus to many other ECs.

But I think the majority of kids aren’t those truly specialized hooks (like a bassoonist).

For sure. But the colleges still probably have a greater need for viola players and newspaper writers and a cappella singers than a non-recruited athlete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

It’s easier to be zen about all this if you can afford out of state schools. Our family cannot.

OP, she probably won’t get into WM or UVA but there are other good state school options. And if you can afford out of state, there are a bazillion options.

It will work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:manage your expectation, they are not going to UVA and that is fine. Let them find a place they will be happy at, everything else will work out.

+1 There are plenty of good options.

+2. If UVA/W&M/VT is their dream, they can go to college somewhere else, then transfer in.

[Anonymous]

Definitely level set your expectations. Colleges don’t factor in the time commitment associated with a varsity sport.

OP: Read the first page. What does your kid want to study?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid went to Harvard for grad school. You know where he went for undergrad? No, you don't because it's barely on the rankings, a little known, local SLAC. My kid is shy and introverted, so the SLAC was the best possible school for him. He got all As, graduated summa cum laude and got into Harvard.

Please, OP, do not worry about where your kid will go to college. It will be FINE. Your DD will do fine at Mary Washington if she doesn't get into W&M, or at some other college if she doesn't get into UVA, or out of state. There are so many great schools where kids will excel and be happy.

Let it go. Do NOT show your anxieties to your DD. Congratulate her on her grades if she's pleased, and console her if she's displeased, but reassure her that you love her and you know she is doing her best and will be successful wherever she goes.

Oh, and BTW, my kid was very happy at his unknown SLAC. He graduated at the top of his class. His teachers liked him. He made a lot of friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't at a highly ranked undergrad college. Harvard liked him, and he got accepted there over many, many applicants from much more selective colleges.

Love this. My DD had a very rocky, all over the place junior year and ended up with a 3.7 UW GPA. One thing that helped calm the nerves throughout the year was that when we talked about colleges the focus was on finding "very likely" colleges (aka safeties) that had great programs for her interest and would still be very likely with a less-than-great end of junior year GPA. For her, these are mostly LACs that others haven't heard of. When DS was a junior it was some of the less popular midwest state flagships. Knowing there's a school you can love that will love you with a 3.5 GPA really lowers the tension.

Parent of shy introvert here as well - would you be willing to suggest the school where your DS went?

I’m not that PP but I would look to the northwest SLACs (Reed, Willamette, Lewis & Clark, Whitman, UPS, etc) or the midwestern SLACs (Wooster, St John’s, Grinnell, St Olaf, etc.).

I would avoid the northeast and SoCal schools.

Those are good suggestions but note that Grinnell had a 9% acceptance rate this year and St Johns is not in the Midwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely level set your expectations. Colleges don’t factor in the time commitment associated with a varsity sport.

OP: Read the first page. What does your kid want to study?

For all activities, common app asks for hours per week and weeks per year.

[Anonymous]

PP with the shy kid, look at Colleges that Change Lives. Small liberal arts colleges where a shy kid can stand out and get a lot of attention. Excellent education, but little or no name recognition. I know two kids who were doing only OK in high school who excelled at these colleges. One went to UVA law school. The other one became a nurse.