when your child likes a college that you don’t think much of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a lot of speculation in the first post. You perceive it is less prestigious and you assume its students will not be a good peer group? How do you know?

This is a good question. There's not as much distance between elite colleges and their backups as people think.

+1
There are far more qualified students than slots at whatever narrow list of "top" colleges you have. It's almost certain there will be other smart, hardworking students at this college, and at some point, you're just chasing the next brass ring rather than doing something because you really want to. And your kid might have a better experience if they are comfortable and happy, because they will be more willing to try something new, or form closer relationships with faculty and other students, etc.

[Anonymous]

A thing I find helpful is to look at where the professors went. Our friends with Yale PhDs teach at a small, low-ranked university. That’s the nature of the current academic job market. If your kid is interested, getting a strong education is possible almost everywhere, and professors will be thrilled to have these students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

Ok---so 25% at Dickinson is 1383 SAT score. That's still in the 91/91% of all students nationawide. Not like your kid is picking a school where the 25% is 1000. The difference between 90 and 98% is minimal.

I don't think most people fully appreciate how many students are in the top 10% of all students attending 4-year colleges and how many colleges can fill a class with those top students, especially considering that no school is only accepting top academic students to fill a class. The top 10% of academic students fill a very wide range of colleges. People seem to think that if they are in the top 10% of SATs/ACTs they should have a shot at the top 20 schools, and they do; however so do 1.4 million other students.

14.08 million students attend 4-year colleges. That means the top 10% of first years = 352,000 first years (note that all Ivies combined have only ~18,000 first years, or .005 of all first years attending 4-year colleges -- and none of them are taking only the top testing students of course). So when you are told that hundreds of colleges have a strong cohort of academic peers for your kid, it is true.

I agree. It amazes me that most parents think it would be terrible for their "high stats kid" to be with those 5-8% below them in scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP with no issues about my kid going to Dickinson, but that’s not true - the difference between a 1500 and 1550 is a few questions, the difference between a 1380 and 1550 is not. Also most students at Dickinson did not get 1380s, just the “top” group.

The 25% is 1383 at Dickinson--taken from their Common Data Set. NOT the 75%. So this means 75% of the students got ABOVE 1383. So your "top group" is 75% of the school. All still very smart/motivated kids, and even those who get a 1550 can learn with and from someone who got a 1383

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

"It really is about what you do in college, not where you go."

This is key. It doesn't matter how "smart" you are, you still have to go and excel. A kid at their best fit school will excel and go far. A kid that smart should do well anywhere, so let them have their life. As this poster stated, HYP is not always a great experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone picking on Dickinson- OP said that is not the college!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone picking on Dickinson- OP said that is not the college!

No one is picking on Dickinson at all. People are using is as the proxy for the school OP is talking about because OP won't name the shcool and picked Dickinson as the proxy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

+1 And that likely applies to a majority of the over 350,000 students who can legitimately consider themselves top students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

Just a heads up for anyone else in this boat (we were/are), a lot of the LACs ranked between 20-50 do not give merit aid - so check that before your kid starts liking LAC A which does notngive merit aid vs LAC B which does!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

Just a heads up for anyone else in this boat (we were/are), a lot of the LACs ranked between 20-50 do not give merit aid - so check that before your kid starts liking LAC A which does notngive merit aid vs LAC B which does!

+1 DD wants a LAC and has ones ranked from low 30s to 80s based in part of likelihood to fit our budget. One of her favorites is in the lower range of ranking but has a great program for her interest. She is not wasting time applying to schools that are need-only or very minimal merit aid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

I want my kid to attend a top 30 university or SLAC where students don't have to have a budget for their decision to matriculate. College is the best time to find your spouse. You want your kid to make himself or herself as attractive as possible, scout out possibilities, and hitch to the strongest wagon. It's easier for girls and gays to accomplish this of course because straight guys have to worry about the girls becoming SAHMs only bringing along family money. But you want to get your hooks into someone early who is destined to succeed, and it's hard to do that at Podunk College.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

I want my kid to attend a top 30 university or SLAC where students don't have to have a budget for their decision to matriculate. College is the best time to find your spouse. You want your kid to make himself or herself as attractive as possible, scout out possibilities, and hitch to the strongest wagon. It's easier for girls and gays to accomplish this of course because straight guys have to worry about the girls becoming SAHMs only bringing along family money. But you want to get your hooks into someone early who is destined to succeed, and it's hard to do that at Podunk College.

hahahahah that's a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is that there are kids applying early to Princeton who will end up at, say, Brandeis. It’s not all that different a pool. There is something to be said for circumventing months of stress and waiting. The outcome might be no different.

I sympathize, kind of, as my kid’s favorite right now is a regional school, not well known, and I think he’d be a competitive candidate at much more “name” schools. But in the end it’s his decision. I went to HYP and it was not a great experience overall. It really is about what you do in college, not where you go.

This. Also consider that a lot of strong students can't consider the top 30ish universities or SLACs because they can't afford them so they are looking a tier down to fit their budget.

I want my kid to attend a top 30 university or SLAC where students don't have to have a budget for their decision to matriculate. College is the best time to find your spouse. You want your kid to make himself or herself as attractive as possible, scout out possibilities, and hitch to the strongest wagon. It's easier for girls and gays to accomplish this of course because straight guys have to worry about the girls becoming SAHMs only bringing along family money. But you want to get your hooks into someone early who is destined to succeed, and it's hard to do that at Podunk College.

Wow, I can in NO way relate to this mindset. I certainly was not worrying about who my kid would marry when she was choosing where to pursue her higher education. Nor was I counselling her to "make herself as attractive as possible." Not everything is a market and people are not commodities.

I am most put off by the lament that "straight guys have to worry about girls (NOT WOMEN YOU WILL NOTE) becoming SAHM's", hence reducing their return on investment.
Ycch!

IF one parent chooses to "stay home," that is presumably based upon a decision the couple has made, not some misfortune that has befallen the person who impregnated the woman.

Here are some CLUES to living in 2022 (since you appear to be clueless): NOT ALL SAH parents are women. NOT ALL parents are straight.

I worry if you are, indeed, raising children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell us the school.

+1