when your child likes a college that you don’t think much of

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So let your kid ED there. They seem happy with the choice. And you are correct, you will never hear the end of it if you force them in another direction. This is their choice (as long as it's within the family budget). Time to let go, and realize it's their life, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

Let your kid go to Brandeis (that's the only SLAC in the 40-50 range). It's a great school and if they have your kid's major (Ie. your kid doesn't want to be an engineer), let them go. That is a school that is either a great fit for your kid or not. IMO, your kid needs to go where they are happy. It's not really up to the parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

I'm not OP, but I think they mean national universities...I'm guessing Brandeis---which is definately a school you either see the fit or you dont

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

Let your kid go to Brandeis (that's the only SLAC in the 40-50 range). It's a great school and if they have your kid's major (Ie. your kid doesn't want to be an engineer), let them go. That is a school that is either a great fit for your kid or not. IMO, your kid needs to go where they are happy. It's not really up to the parent

There is a separate ranking list for liberal arts colleges: https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-liberal-arts-colleges

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

Ok---so 25% at Dickinson is 1383 SAT score. That's still in the 91/91% of all students nationawide. Not like your kid is picking a school where the 25% is 1000. The difference between 90 and 98% is minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

I'm not OP, but I think they mean national universities...I'm guessing Brandeis---which is definately a school you either see the fit or you dont

This is OP. Per my post above, this is a LAC ranked in the 40-50 range among LACs (US News has a LAC ranking list). Think: Dickinson (but not Dickinson).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

Ok---so 25% at Dickinson is 1383 SAT score. That's still in the 91/91% of all students nationawide. Not like your kid is picking a school where the 25% is 1000. The difference between 90 and 98% is minimal.

Op again. DC has above a 1550, so the top quartile of 1383 is not even close. I realize the SAT scores are one small part of a student profile, this is just to give you a sense of my concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

Ok---so 25% at Dickinson is 1383 SAT score. That's still in the 91/91% of all students nationawide. Not like your kid is picking a school where the 25% is 1000. The difference between 90 and 98% is minimal.

Op again. DC has above a 1550, so the top quartile of 1383 is not even close. I realize the SAT scores are one small part of a student profile, this is just to give you a sense of my concerns.

It's your concern but It appears your DC is not concerned. Once again, the difference between 91% and 98% is not that much, so I don't really understand your concerns. I would not be concerned at all. It's not as if DC wants to attend a school where the average SAT is 1100 (that would give me a bit more reason for concern, as 1100 is 61% and that I feel is a significant difference from 98%). The 1383 is 91 % and is the 25 percentile. 75% of the students score higher. Just look around you at your job---are you surrounded by people who all got 1580+ on their SATs? My guess is probably not. Yet you still function each day successfully at your job with the other people who are good employees. If your DC thinks it's a good fit, go with it. A school where most kids are at the 90th percentile is a great school . Suck it up and realize they don't want to attend an elite university---they are smartly picking the right fit for them. Let them be happy and stop worrying about your bragging rights with friends/family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

Ok---so 25% at Dickinson is 1383 SAT score. That's still in the 91/91% of all students nationawide. Not like your kid is picking a school where the 25% is 1000. The difference between 90 and 98% is minimal.

Op again. DC has above a 1550, so the top quartile of 1383 is not even close. I realize the SAT scores are one small part of a student profile, this is just to give you a sense of my concerns.

It's your concern but It appears your DC is not concerned. Once again, the difference between 91% and 98% is not that much, so I don't really understand your concerns. I would not be concerned at all. It's not as if DC wants to attend a school where the average SAT is 1100 (that would give me a bit more reason for concern, as 1100 is 61% and that I feel is a significant difference from 98%). The 1383 is 91 % and is the 25 percentile. 75% of the students score higher. Just look around you at your job---are you surrounded by people who all got 1580+ on their SATs? My guess is probably not. Yet you still function each day successfully at your job with the other people who are good employees. If your DC thinks it's a good fit, go with it. A school where most kids are at the 90th percentile is a great school . Suck it up and realize they don't want to attend an elite university---they are smartly picking the right fit for them. Let them be happy and stop worrying about your bragging rights with friends/family

ANd to add---the 25% is not the top quartile. So that means 75% of kids are at/above the 91 percentile of SAT scores in the country. So 1383 is the 25 percentile, so the break between bottom quartile and the next level. It is not the
Top Quartile", so 75% of students score higher. I for one would prefer my kid be at the right fit over anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

This is OP. This is a LAC ranked 40-50 among LACs, like a Dickinson. My DC’s stats place them well in the top 25th quartile for said college they like, it is a guess but probably in the top 5-10th percentage if that data was available. Doesn’t the fact you are asking, though, mean that you, too, make some value judgment about relative colleges?

Yeah - but I still think you should let them go ahead with the choice. I firmly believe my high achieving kid would do great anywhere - they just have to take advantage of what's available to them. So I think the same for your kid. It's a hard pill to swallow, maybe. A different side to consider, maybe they will get a nice chunk of merit aid at the SLAC? Then they can do great at the SLAC and have plenty of $$ saved to use for strong reputable graduate program (where high profile DOES matter in terms of quality and outcomes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am OP and the school is not Duke! It is a small liberal arts college, ranked in the 40-50 range.

So relieved! Cuz Duke would have made you certifiably insane!

For the SLAC....
do you mean ranked 40-50 among SLACs? Like DePauw?
or 40-50 among national universities? Like Tulane?

I'm not OP, but I think they mean national universities...I'm guessing Brandeis---which is definately a school you either see the fit or you dont

OP already answered above and said the opposite....it's SLAC like Dickenson.

[Anonymous]

You can probably get lot of merit aids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can probably get lot of merit aids

Agreed but I think more chance of getting merit if you don’t ED. Do the have EA? If so, that leaves room if they later change mind AND potentially gets more merit. Ultimately, of course you know OP that you need to let your kid decide (unless there is a money concern). You need to set your ego aside, which really what this is about (and we all have to some extent). There will be many other decisions your kid makes in life that you are not thrilled about and you want to keep the relationship where they value your advice without feeling pressure or judgement to take it. You really don’t want them to be a Minnie you-as hard as it is to take a back seat. All parents struggle with this. Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

No ED unless both student and parents are 100% supportive.
Tell kid no ED, because you don’t want to limit any merit aid options. No student should expect their parents to pay $80,000\year for college. First lesson in real world decisions for them