When you meet other moms and their kids, what signals upper class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

When I pull up to them and ask if they have any Grey Poupon, and then they say 'but of course' and drive away, then I know they are upper class.

I laughed. Then I felt old.

+1. I laughed out loud. Best comment on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut the guesswork out. I break into their homes, dig around their office, and check out their financial statements. I’m not taking any chances.

Exactly. It’s simple. They have a lot of money. Parents and grandparents and all their friends went to Harvard and Yale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I said that her son looked nice and she said commented that it was a custom made.

It did fit beautifully. Probably one reason I noticed. This was for a 9th grader.

This is the tell. UC says thank you and leaves it at that. UMC says it was custom made.

Incorrect. Well-mannered says nothing. Try-hards say custom made, even if they have the higher income. Class and income are not the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

It’s upper MC.

No it takes being in the top 2% in this city (or country) to sustain this. That is quantitative not qualitative. The only other way to define UC would be the way Europeans do, by royalty and titles. This is America, we define it by money. The top 2-5% are UC. Most have the above lifestyle. There will always be someone with more, but it doesn't mean you are UMC because you know someone with more.

+1

Top 5% income in US is 200,000. I don’t consider that upper class.

If you have top 5% wealth ($3M in assets) combined with HHI of top 5% (~300k in 2022), you are UC statically. What "you consider" is not an objective measure and therefore doesn't matter.

Interesting. We have both of those (but on the lower end - DH makes about $325-350k and our assets are just over $3M) and I SAH. No nanny, no private school. Fun camps but nothing ritzy. No second home, nice vacation but modest lodging (not ritz or 4 Seasons.) Standard 90’s colonial in a nice enough but not posh suburb. Drive Hondas.

DCUM would laugh their a$$es off if I tried to claim UC status.

True. That is mostly because the divide between the top 0.5% and the top 5% is much wider than the divide between the 5% and those living in poverty.

So not true. I'm not in either of those categories, I'm actual middle class (single mom, teacher salary). The difference between my lifestyle, where I can always put healthy food on the table for my kids, and get them the medical care they need, and that of Bill Gates, is narrower than the difference between my lifestyle and that of someone making heartbreaking choices between food and medication. If you actually think your life in the top 5% is anything like people living in poverty then you are hopelessly out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

MC live in a 1500 square foot house or less and camp for vacations.

+1 the mom in OP's post clearly has lots of money. No one doing those things is "middle class." That said, there are all kinds of rich people and they act differently. My parents are very wealthy and they would never live in a 6000sf new build house in a suburb, nor do they have any interest in St Barts or Aspen or scene-y places like that. They live in a 150yo house on a horse farm and wear rubber boots most of the time.

^ See, that's the giveaway. If they have a horse, never go on vacation, and only wear rubber boots. That's how you know. Anyone else is just a poseur.

Heaven forbid different people like different things

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God I love all of the dick waggling in this thread. My favorite is the humble bragging.

"Oooh well I don't even KNOW if my meager income makes me upper class. I don't even know how much I make, like maybe it's $3.552 million dollars a year but it just feels like so much less, you know? I'm just like the rest of you (peons)!"

It's very interesting. People who work hard to make a lot of money but then want to claim they're not as wealthy as they are. I read an article about the psychology of this once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

It’s upper MC.

No it takes being in the top 2% in this city (or country) to sustain this. That is quantitative not qualitative. The only other way to define UC would be the way Europeans do, by royalty and titles. This is America, we define it by money. The top 2-5% are UC. Most have the above lifestyle. There will always be someone with more, but it doesn't mean you are UMC because you know someone with more.

+1

Top 5% income in US is 200,000. I don’t consider that upper class.

If you have top 5% wealth ($3M in assets) combined with HHI of top 5% (~300k in 2022), you are UC statically. What "you consider" is not an objective measure and therefore doesn't matter.

Interesting. We have both of those (but on the lower end - DH makes about $325-350k and our assets are just over $3M) and I SAH. No nanny, no private school. Fun camps but nothing ritzy. No second home, nice vacation but modest lodging (not ritz or 4 Seasons.) Standard 90’s colonial in a nice enough but not posh suburb. Drive Hondas.

DCUM would laugh their a$$es off if I tried to claim UC status.

This is us, too. Income a touch higher, assets a smidge lower (though really aiming to reach $3M soon) and just today my husband criticized my amazon account spending. I don't feel UC at all and some days I question if I'm UMC. Actually, I only question it when I come to DCUM and see these type of threads (so, frequently). I'm not class-obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have an international circle of friends. There is a diversity of financial profiles, but I'd say that *courtesy* and *culture* are what marks the upper class everywhere in the world.

Actual money depends on the cost of living where they live, so it's hard to compare. But being well-brought up means being welcoming to strangers and staying focused on the comfort of your guest or the interests of your fellow conversationalist. And having a general understanding of current global events and cultural happenings is the mark of someone who has the time, wealth and interest to keep abreast of the times, and be educated enough to put them in their proper historical perspective.

Funny, because culture and courtesy have nothing to do with social class status.
-have lived with people of insane wealth and people with very modest means

+1. First PP is clueless. Rich people can be extremely rude and crass because they can. I find poorer people to be more caring and generous, often because they have more empathy. As for culture, I suppose richer people have more access to art and music, but culture develops in different ways at all levels of society.

[Anonymous]

One thing Ive noticed about women who grew up well off is that their home decorating style is very different from mine. Nothing trendy in their homes -- it's usually full of antiques, expensive rugs, large original oil paintings, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have an international circle of friends. There is a diversity of financial profiles, but I'd say that *courtesy* and *culture* are what marks the upper class everywhere in the world.

Actual money depends on the cost of living where they live, so it's hard to compare. But being well-brought up means being welcoming to strangers and staying focused on the comfort of your guest or the interests of your fellow conversationalist. And having a general understanding of current global events and cultural happenings is the mark of someone who has the time, wealth and interest to keep abreast of the times, and be educated enough to put them in their proper historical perspective.

Hahaha. No. Being wealthy means having a lot of money. Period. It doesn’t make you better or better raised or nicer or a better hostess than anyone else. Geez. Look at the Trumps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have an international circle of friends. There is a diversity of financial profiles, but I'd say that *courtesy* and *culture* are what marks the upper class everywhere in the world.

Actual money depends on the cost of living where they live, so it's hard to compare. But being well-brought up means being welcoming to strangers and staying focused on the comfort of your guest or the interests of your fellow conversationalist. And having a general understanding of current global events and cultural happenings is the mark of someone who has the time, wealth and interest to keep abreast of the times, and be educated enough to put them in their proper historical perspective.

Hahaha. No. Being wealthy means having a lot of money. Period. It doesn’t make you better or better raised or nicer or a better hostess than anyone else. Geez. Look at the Trumps.

Or the Kardashians. Or Cardi B. No one would ever accuse them of being classy, even though they are all super rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have an international circle of friends. There is a diversity of financial profiles, but I'd say that *courtesy* and *culture* are what marks the upper class everywhere in the world.

Actual money depends on the cost of living where they live, so it's hard to compare. But being well-brought up means being welcoming to strangers and staying focused on the comfort of your guest or the interests of your fellow conversationalist. And having a general understanding of current global events and cultural happenings is the mark of someone who has the time, wealth and interest to keep abreast of the times, and be educated enough to put them in their proper historical perspective.

Hahaha. No. Being wealthy means having a lot of money. Period. It doesn’t make you better or better raised or nicer or a better hostess than anyone else. Geez. Look at the Trumps.

Or the Kardashians. Or Cardi B. No one would ever accuse them of being classy, even though they are all super rich.

+2

And the pseudo-classy ones can be insanely passive-aggressive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

When I pull up to them and ask if they have any Grey Poupon, and then they say 'but of course' and drive away, then I know they are upper class.

Thank you for this.

[Anonymous]

They way they show no interest in making friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do some of your brain cells self-combust when writing idiotic statements such as '[all] UMC women are pretty'?

I totally missed anyone saying that. I think they are average looking but are all trim and fit.... except if they are a rich man. In that case mom must be gorgeous and dad can look like a dried up orange on top of an over stuffed 300 lb potato sack.