When you meet other moms and their kids, what signals upper class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you root for the COVID and this thread is one of those times.

If some of y’all are not shitposting, you need to find Jesus, read a book, perform a mitzvah. You are insufferable and horrible.

Giant flaming meteor 2024.

Great post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time nanny with a stay at home mom.

Yes, but this is the definition. Where I am if there are two kids and mom works then there are two Nannies. I’ve also seen variations of this- three kids, two Nannie’s, SAHM mom.

I’m a sahm and had a ft nanny with 3 kids. This was not a big deal.

Working mom with multiple nannies does not signal UC to me at all. This signals mom works a lot. I feel UC moms don’t work a lot.

We live in an affluent neighborhood. Most of the moms don’t work. The husbands all must earn seven or eight figures. In many homes, both the husband and wife don’t seem to have real jobs.

I don’t find SAHM mom as a definite indicator of UC. More and more I’m seeing women who have such big careers that it doesn’t make sense for them to stay home; is an entrepreneur, or has been able to secure a profitable WFH or PT arrangement. I think the new trophy wife has interesting work, control over their schedule and enough help to be able to still have hobbies/do fun activities with their kids while outsourcing housework. I encounter these women more and more now, and am impressed by how much they do and how well they do it!

I agree that this is the new definition of “trophy wife”. My DH and I were actually just talking about this a few weeks ago. We’ve been in several situations in the last year or two where a couple we know or have just met talks about the fact that the wife stays home with, kind of, embarrassment. These are families with kids in school. It definitely doesn’t seem to signal UMC anymore. And I think if you’d asked me 10-15 years ago, when we were newly married, I would have said the opposite. DH compared those couples’ telling us about their SAHM situation to being like telling people your grown up child was still living in your basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time nanny with a stay at home mom.

Yes, but this is the definition. Where I am if there are two kids and mom works then there are two Nannies. I’ve also seen variations of this- three kids, two Nannie’s, SAHM mom.

I’m a sahm and had a ft nanny with 3 kids. This was not a big deal.

Working mom with multiple nannies does not signal UC to me at all. This signals mom works a lot. I feel UC moms don’t work a lot.

We live in an affluent neighborhood. Most of the moms don’t work. The husbands all must earn seven or eight figures. In many homes, both the husband and wife don’t seem to have real jobs.

I don’t find SAHM mom as a definite indicator of UC. More and more I’m seeing women who have such big careers that it doesn’t make sense for them to stay home; is an entrepreneur, or has been able to secure a profitable WFH or PT arrangement. I think the new trophy wife has interesting work, control over their schedule and enough help to be able to still have hobbies/do fun activities with their kids while outsourcing housework. I encounter these women more and more now, and am impressed by how much they do and how well they do it!

I agree that this is the new definition of “trophy wife”. My DH and I were actually just talking about this a few weeks ago. We’ve been in several situations in the last year or two where a couple we know or have just met talks about the fact that the wife stays home with, kind of, embarrassment. These are families with kids in school. It definitely doesn’t seem to signal UMC anymore. And I think if you’d asked me 10-15 years ago, when we were newly married, I would have said the opposite. DH compared those couples’ telling us about their SAHM situation to being like telling people your grown up child was still living in your basement.

Idk- I live in an UNC/UC area and there are plenty of SAHMs. Usually some family money involved.

[Anonymous]

Quiet confidence, yes, but nothing signals upper class on a young child like very good manners and impulse control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time nanny with a stay at home mom.

Yes, but this is the definition. Where I am if there are two kids and mom works then there are two Nannies. I’ve also seen variations of this- three kids, two Nannie’s, SAHM mom.

I’m a sahm and had a ft nanny with 3 kids. This was not a big deal.

Working mom with multiple nannies does not signal UC to me at all. This signals mom works a lot. I feel UC moms don’t work a lot.

We live in an affluent neighborhood. Most of the moms don’t work. The husbands all must earn seven or eight figures. In many homes, both the husband and wife don’t seem to have real jobs.

I don’t find SAHM mom as a definite indicator of UC. More and more I’m seeing women who have such big careers that it doesn’t make sense for them to stay home; is an entrepreneur, or has been able to secure a profitable WFH or PT arrangement. I think the new trophy wife has interesting work, control over their schedule and enough help to be able to still have hobbies/do fun activities with their kids while outsourcing housework. I encounter these women more and more now, and am impressed by how much they do and how well they do it!

I agree that this is the new definition of “trophy wife”. My DH and I were actually just talking about this a few weeks ago. We’ve been in several situations in the last year or two where a couple we know or have just met talks about the fact that the wife stays home with, kind of, embarrassment. These are families with kids in school. It definitely doesn’t seem to signal UMC anymore. And I think if you’d asked me 10-15 years ago, when we were newly married, I would have said the opposite. DH compared those couples’ telling us about their SAHM situation to being like telling people your grown up child was still living in your basement.

I was just at our country club thinking so many women don’t work.

Dh and I were just talking about how we are glad we don’t outsource childcare. I don’t care about signaling whether we are upper class or upper middle class.

I’m ivy educated. I worked for 15 years before deciding to stay home. I have my own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Full time nanny with a stay at home mom.

Yes, but this is the definition. Where I am if there are two kids and mom works then there are two Nannies. I’ve also seen variations of this- three kids, two Nannie’s, SAHM mom.

I’m a sahm and had a ft nanny with 3 kids. This was not a big deal.

Working mom with multiple nannies does not signal UC to me at all. This signals mom works a lot. I feel UC moms don’t work a lot.

We live in an affluent neighborhood. Most of the moms don’t work. The husbands all must earn seven or eight figures. In many homes, both the husband and wife don’t seem to have real jobs.

I don’t find SAHM mom as a definite indicator of UC. More and more I’m seeing women who have such big careers that it doesn’t make sense for them to stay home; is an entrepreneur, or has been able to secure a profitable WFH or PT arrangement. I think the new trophy wife has interesting work, control over their schedule and enough help to be able to still have hobbies/do fun activities with their kids while outsourcing housework. I encounter these women more and more now, and am impressed by how much they do and how well they do it!

I agree that this is the new definition of “trophy wife”. My DH and I were actually just talking about this a few weeks ago. We’ve been in several situations in the last year or two where a couple we know or have just met talks about the fact that the wife stays home with, kind of, embarrassment. These are families with kids in school. It definitely doesn’t seem to signal UMC anymore. And I think if you’d asked me 10-15 years ago, when we were newly married, I would have said the opposite. DH compared those couples’ telling us about their SAHM situation to being like telling people your grown up child was still living in your basement.

I was just at our country club thinking so many women don’t work.

Dh and I were just talking about how we are glad we don’t outsource childcare. I don’t care about signaling whether we are upper class or upper middle class.

I’m ivy educated. I worked for 15 years before deciding to stay home. I have my own money.

Yes yes we know. You post this disclaimer every chance you get on here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the people who think that old money is better than new money. It’s better to get rich off the backs of your ancestors, rather than earning it yourself? Whatever.

I think the idea is that new money goes crazy with their recently gained riches and flaunts it in a disgusting display of braggadocio. Old money, being accustomed to their wealth, is more low-key. Whether this is accurate or not is up for debate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

When I pull up to them and ask if they have any Grey Poupon, and then they say 'but of course' and drive away, then I know they are upper class.

Ha! I know what Grey Poupon is and I definitely would not consider myself upper class...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

When I pull up to them and ask if they have any Grey Poupon, and then they say 'but of course' and drive away, then I know they are upper class.

Ha! I know what Grey Poupon is and I definitely would not consider myself upper class...

I should add that I have some in my cupboard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the people who think that old money is better than new money. It’s better to get rich off the backs of your ancestors, rather than earning it yourself? Whatever.

I think the idea is that new money goes crazy with their recently gained riches and flaunts it in a disgusting display of braggadocio. Old money, being accustomed to their wealth, is more low-key. Whether this is accurate or not is up for debate.

At least new money earned it. Maybe old money is embarrassed to be spending money they never earned since they appear to be living beyond their means if they are underemployed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quiet confidence, yes, but nothing signals upper class on a young child like very good manners and impulse control.

So to be clear, you think wealthy children have different brain structures compared to other children? Or might it be that the manners, clothing, etc. bias you towards overlooking behavior(s)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get the people who think that old money is better than new money. It’s better to get rich off the backs of your ancestors, rather than earning it yourself? Whatever.

I think the idea is that new money goes crazy with their recently gained riches and flaunts it in a disgusting display of braggadocio. Old money, being accustomed to their wealth, is more low-key. Whether this is accurate or not is up for debate.

At least new money earned it. Maybe old money is embarrassed to be spending money they never earned since they appear to be living beyond their means if they are underemployed.

Most old money we know are the ones who are unimpressive themselves besides being old money.

The ones who are accomplished would just be impressive and self made and they would also have old money. Old money would be secondary and not really talked about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quiet confidence, yes, but nothing signals upper class on a young child like very good manners and impulse control.

So to be clear, you think wealthy children have different brain structures compared to other children? Or might it be that the manners, clothing, etc. bias you towards overlooking behavior(s)?

NP here. No. The wealthy have the luxury of prioritizing manners. They can out source the stressors that make all parents get lax. The kids actually miss a lot of lessons in this trade off, but they do learn manners. Doesn’t make them nicer or less nice people, but it makes it easier for them to work through society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quiet confidence, yes, but nothing signals upper class on a young child like very good manners and impulse control.

So to be clear, you think wealthy children have different brain structures compared to other children? Or might it be that the manners, clothing, etc. bias you towards overlooking behavior(s)?

NP here. No. The wealthy have the luxury of prioritizing manners. They can out source the stressors that make all parents get lax. The kids actually miss a lot of lessons in this trade off, but they do learn manners. Doesn’t make them nicer or less nice people, but it makes it easier for them to work through society.

But that's not impulse control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Quiet confidence, yes, but nothing signals upper class on a young child like very good manners and impulse control.

So to be clear, you think wealthy children have different brain structures compared to other children? Or might it be that the manners, clothing, etc. bias you towards overlooking behavior(s)?

My UC children have wonderful manners.... when they're not misbehaving.