When you meet other moms and their kids, what signals upper class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

MC live in a 1500 square foot house or less and camp for vacations.

+1 the mom in OP's post clearly has lots of money. No one doing those things is "middle class." That said, there are all kinds of rich people and they act differently. My parents are very wealthy and they would never live in a 6000sf new build house in a suburb, nor do they have any interest in St Barts or Aspen or scene-y places like that. They live in a 150yo house on a horse farm and wear rubber boots most of the time.

^ See, that's the giveaway. If they have a horse, never go on vacation, and only wear rubber boots. That's how you know. Anyone else is just a poseur.

Heaven forbid different people like different things

See no one who is actually upper class would say heaven forbid, or question the ubiquity of having a horse and some rubber boots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

MC live in a 1500 square foot house or less and camp for vacations.

+1 the mom in OP's post clearly has lots of money. No one doing those things is "middle class." That said, there are all kinds of rich people and they act differently. My parents are very wealthy and they would never live in a 6000sf new build house in a suburb, nor do they have any interest in St Barts or Aspen or scene-y places like that. They live in a 150yo house on a horse farm and wear rubber boots most of the time.

^ See, that's the giveaway. If they have a horse, never go on vacation, and only wear rubber boots. That's how you know. Anyone else is just a poseur.

Heaven forbid different people like different things

See no one who is actually upper class would say heaven forbid, or question the ubiquity of having a horse and some rubber boots.

Ridiculous statement.

[Anonymous]

Good teeth. SO MANY PEOPLE in the DC area with busted teeth.

[Anonymous]

A good buttocks that can wiggle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good buttocks that can wiggle

Ha! When one reaches a certain age, they all wiggle.

[Anonymous]

Posting on DCUrbanMoms.com, obviously!

[Anonymous]

Country club
Private schools
Thin and fit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A good buttocks that can wiggle

On command

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

It’s upper MC.

No it takes being in the top 2% in this city (or country) to sustain this. That is quantitative not qualitative. The only other way to define UC would be the way Europeans do, by royalty and titles. This is America, we define it by money. The top 2-5% are UC. Most have the above lifestyle. There will always be someone with more, but it doesn't mean you are UMC because you know someone with more.

+1

Top 5% income in US is 200,000. I don’t consider that upper class.

If you have top 5% wealth ($3M in assets) combined with HHI of top 5% (~300k in 2022), you are UC statically. What "you consider" is not an objective measure and therefore doesn't matter.

Interesting. We have both of those (but on the lower end - DH makes about $325-350k and our assets are just over $3M) and I SAH. No nanny, no private school. Fun camps but nothing ritzy. No second home, nice vacation but modest lodging (not ritz or 4 Seasons.) Standard 90’s colonial in a nice enough but not posh suburb. Drive Hondas.

DCUM would laugh their a$$es off if I tried to claim UC status.

This is us, too. Income a touch higher, assets a smidge lower (though really aiming to reach $3M soon) and just today my husband criticized my amazon account spending. I don't feel UC at all and some days I question if I'm UMC. Actually, I only question it when I come to DCUM and see these type of threads (so, frequently). I'm not class-obsessed.

+2. Everyone spends their money in different ways. Unless you are the 0.5%, your life can outwardly look much like a UMC/MC family. Our neighbors have no idea that we pull in north of 500k. I work, but I don't have to. We live in a typical nova colonial in a middle of the road school district. We considered private, but there aren't any excellent privates within a 20 minute drive. We drive Hondas because they don't make luxury minivans and I find the sliding doors practical. We have a household manager, but only my close friends really know that. We vacation in places like Hawaii, but do not have a second home because we don't think we'd use it enough to justify the expense and hassle. I do buy a ton of clothes and Amazon shit and never worry about it and I never price compare at the grocery store-- I buy what I want. We plan on retiring at 50ish and not worrying about passive income sources. I guess then people will figure out that we've been pouring money into retirement this whole time.

[Anonymous]

If you base class on money, then there are no clear indicators because in the US, there is both old & new money and US & foreign money and so on. It's different in, say, Europe, where money is more homogeneous. DH & I both grew up struggling MC, but now are in the top 0.1% of income so if that's your metric, we are UC. People who make significantly less money than we do live in much bigger houses with a 2nd home in the "right" area, drive flash cars, vacation in the "right" islands, send their kids to the "right" private schools, have at least two nannies for their 2+ kids, and so on. Neither of us has really grand tastes so based on how we live, people who don't know us well would assume we're UMC making maybe 2-300K per year. There are only a few ways in which we spend above the UMC level, such as always flying business/first and having a FT nanny (but only one!) that we don't need, but we never mention and try to downplay things like this if they come up. Being UC for us means being able to afford whatever we want (which so far has been relatively modest) and not worrying about our futures financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m thinking of a mom who is very well put-together, trim, and pretty. Her kids are well behaved, other than a short-lived pout, and the family lives in one of those nice custom homes spanning 5 or 6,000 square feet in a good school district. The kids are wearing nice clothes, brand name shoes and go to nice camps.

The family vacations in Hawaii, Mexico, the Caribbean and may travel back to their home country in August.

Is this spot on? If not, what signals wealth with families in the DMV?

This is MC.

Upper class is articulate, confident kids who can communicate with adults and children alike. All family members are trim and fit. Vacation at St Barts, Aspen, and Europe. Have at least one vacation home. Multiple kids in private school. Kind and not snobby. Live in 2500+ Sq ft house.... I say that because size doesn't matter as much as location and quality. House (no matter size) probably cost 1.5+.... I say this because some people just don't trade up as they age. They stay put, like Warren Buffet. Nice cars, may or may not be expensive, all in good condition.

This. And they play tennis, swim and ski.

+1 on all of this and the house size, esp in the nicest parts of upper NW. Those beautiful homes are not the new teardown mcmansions.

[Anonymous]

I know many, many moms who come from UMC who aren't trim, put together, don't drive nice cars, etc. I find women who come from poorer backgrounds but have made it to the UMC are more apt to cling to outward virtue signaling.

As for kids, I have known some lower middle class kids who are well spoken, confident, insightful vs some UMC children who are bratty, entitled, etc.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, who cares? I know so many materialistic people who try to appear this way, looks can be deceiving and are shallow to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you base class on money, then there are no clear indicators because in the US, there is both old & new money and US & foreign money and so on. It's different in, say, Europe, where money is more homogeneous. DH & I both grew up struggling MC, but now are in the top 0.1% of income so if that's your metric, we are UC. People who make significantly less money than we do live in much bigger houses with a 2nd home in the "right" area, drive flash cars, vacation in the "right" islands, send their kids to the "right" private schools, have at least two nannies for their 2+ kids, and so on. Neither of us has really grand tastes so based on how we live, people who don't know us well would assume we're UMC making maybe 2-300K per year. There are only a few ways in which we spend above the UMC level, such as always flying business/first and having a FT nanny (but only one!) that we don't need, but we never mention and try to downplay things like this if they come up. Being UC for us means being able to afford whatever we want (which so far has been relatively modest) and not worrying about our futures financially.

Are people really this annoying?

[Anonymous]

WTF kind of question is this? OP your post makes you sound jealous and kind of piggish.

I am upper class, we live in an older home, drive average cars, take nice vacations, but OMG I AM FAT, FAT, FAT. You probably think I'm LMC.