Growing up in the DC Wealth Bubble

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The OP asked about how to get out of the wealth bubble and you all end up comparing the DC wealth bubble with the NYC wealth bubble.

So funny.

The OP was talking about the upper middle class bubble.

[Anonymous]

By “DC,” you are talking about everywhere in and around DC except the vast majority of actual DC, where none of this is anywhere close to reality.

[Anonymous]

They were not that rich. Not compared to New York or many other truly wealthy cities. My family has been here a lot longer than that and the folks with real money - Marjorie Merriweather Post, the Mellons, the Dodges, the McLeans - were few and far between and they came from other places. DC was a stop over.
Georgetown was such a big deal that it was largely an Irish slum. Wesley Heights was upper middle class but was not ever like the upper East side. You don’t know wealth if you think thy hose people really had it. The first wealthy folks that made it here were the Smiths, Cafritzs, maybe Edward Bennet Williams in the law. The wealth explosion here started slowly after WWII and became something real in the 1990’s."


I was talking about the 1970s and 80s not the 1870s and 80s. I can't speak to a world before I was born and I was born in the 1960s. And when I was growing up living in Georgetown were there were a lot of wealhty real estate families like the as you mentioned. Several of the robber baron families that yo mention had homes in DC, McLean and huge estates in Middleburg and the Eastern Shore.

I am not one of those people comparing DC To NYC. No, DC was not and still isnt a wealth capital. But it has had - for a long time - a lot of wealthy folks. Gtown was never an Irish ghetto. Cap Hill maybe, but never Gtown. Parts of Gtown along P Street had an African American families. There is still a black church on P right near Rose Park.

[Anonymous]

OP, I’ll try to answer your question. I did grow up in NYC and attended private school k-12, lived on the UES and everyone I knew was well educated and had money. My family was well off but nowhere near the level of wealth of my classmates. We didn’t have a country house, we didn’t spend the first week of spring break at Vail then the second week on St Barts like many of my friends. Several of my classmates had parents on the Forbes 400. Although all that seemed normal, I didn’t assume everyone grew up like that. For one, I lived in NY and saw poverty every day, I also watched tv and had a sense that I lived a privileged life. What really burst my bubble was going to college. Yes, it was a preppy private college but plenty of kids came from modest backgrounds. I remember being surprised to learn that many of my friends were on financial aid and had to earn college spending money over the summer. After college I was on my own and had to learn how to hustle.
I now try to drill into my kids that they live a privileged life. That, even if we aren’t filthy rich like some of their friends, we are still wealthier than .01% of the planet. You have to give some grounding and doses of reality to burst the bubble. Have them volunteer. Try public school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By “DC,” you are talking about everywhere in and around DC except the vast majority of actual DC, where none of this is anywhere close to reality.

Wrong. Lots of very wealthy people in DC.

[Anonymous]

I went to Catholic schools growing up where it was a requirement to do some sort of community service for a certain number of hours each year. I volunteered in all sorts of environments from low income nursing homes to camps for severely disabled kids, to homeless shelters. It was invaluable in teaching me how privileged I truly was (although not as wealthy as what OP is describing). This should be a requirement in all public schools too. I would make sure, OP, that when you have your own children who will be privileged that you do a better job at exposing them to the reality of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

Your post which started this thread reveals awareness and a desire to learn. My impression is that you are a very nice, considerate individual.

During college, I met a lot of wealthy kids from Boston area, Greenwich/Stamford, Conn. area as well as from the wealthiest areas of Long Island, New York. They were unable to relate to others who did not enjoy the same privileged upbringing. Even worse, they did not want to relate to, or to understand, others from a different background. Decades later, the ones with whom I still have some contact, have remained the same other than for being even more entrenched in an upper class lifestyle.

What you claim "isn't normal", actually is normal to some. And they like it and don't want to expand their horizons to experience or understand the discomfort and difficulties of others.

I do not think that you can ever fully understand and appreciate what life is like for others who grew up with severe financial, family, and social issues. Being raised in a difficult environment often leaves emotional scars that never heal and are fundamental elements of one's mental framework.

Reality means different things to different people. You can have compassion for others--and your post suggests that you do--but I doubt that you can ever really understand.

This. I am amazed at people who grew up privileged or semi-privileged and claim, with a straight face, that they really understand "how the other half lives"; we got a bunch of those in this thread. That, to me, is being way more clueless than OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were not that rich. Not compared to New York or many other truly wealthy cities. My family has been here a lot longer than that and the folks with real money - Marjorie Merriweather Post, the Mellons, the Dodges, the McLeans - were few and far between and they came from other places. DC was a stop over.
Georgetown was such a big deal that it was largely an Irish slum. Wesley Heights was upper middle class but was not ever like the upper East side. You don’t know wealth if you think thy hose people really had it. The first wealthy folks that made it here were the Smiths, Cafritzs, maybe Edward Bennet Williams in the law. The wealth explosion here started slowly after WWII and became something real in the 1990’s."


I was talking about the 1970s and 80s not the 1870s and 80s. I can't speak to a world before I was born and I was born in the 1960s. And when I was growing up living in Georgetown were there were a lot of wealhty real estate families like the as you mentioned. Several of the robber baron families that yo mention had homes in DC, McLean and huge estates in Middleburg and the Eastern Shore.

I am not one of those people comparing DC To NYC. No, DC was not and still isnt a wealth capital. But it has had - for a long time - a lot of wealthy folks. Gtown was never an Irish ghetto. Cap Hill maybe, but never Gtown. Parts of Gtown along P Street had an African American families. There is still a black church on P right near Rose Park.

Actually, it was.

“Starting in the late 19th century Georgetown became somewhat of an Irish and African-American slum (although sometimes this is a bit overstated). It’s reputation grew as a rougher part of town through the early 20th century. “

https://ggwash.org/view/31134/dc-property-values-sure-have-changed-since-1879

My family was part of the gang who turned it around. You can still go grab a meal at a restaurant we started. But there were some really wealthy families that largely located here or had a place here a la Bezos to be able to visit government leaders. But there were not massive numbers of locally made wealthy families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Move to an area where most parents send their kids to public school in a mixed income neighborhood.

This was the second post, and is still the best answer in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move to an area where most parents send their kids to public school in a mixed income neighborhood.

This was the second post, and is still the best answer in this thread.

This was my strategy. I have paid for it financially, because my house hasn't appreciated as well bc of low Great Schools scores (penalized by diversity imo).
Because my public school is economically diverse, it is also very crowded with so many in-bounds apartment complexes. My neighborhood gets slammed on DCUM a lot.
My kids are well rounded, and their friends are down to earth and kind. You win some and you lose some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move to an area where most parents send their kids to public school in a mixed income neighborhood.

This was the second post, and is still the best answer in this thread.

This was my strategy. I have paid for it financially, because my house hasn't appreciated as well bc of low Great Schools scores (penalized by diversity imo).
Because my public school is economically diverse, it is also very crowded with so many in-bounds apartment complexes. My neighborhood gets slammed on DCUM a lot.
My kids are well rounded, and their friends are down to earth and kind. You win some and you lose some.

But you started off with so much money to begin with, how much a financial sacrifice was it really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Move to an area where most parents send their kids to public school in a mixed income neighborhood.

This was the second post, and is still the best answer in this thread.

This was my strategy. I have paid for it financially, because my house hasn't appreciated as well bc of low Great Schools scores (penalized by diversity imo).
Because my public school is economically diverse, it is also very crowded with so many in-bounds apartment complexes. My neighborhood gets slammed on DCUM a lot.
My kids are well rounded, and their friends are down to earth and kind. You win some and you lose some.

I’ve done the same. My house may not have appreciated the way NW DC/Bethesda houses have, but it’s still appreciated. Plus, I don’t have to deal with Bethesda/ NW DC people/snobbery/out-of-touchness, so it’s been a win all around.

[Anonymous]

Have your kids get real jobs in the summers. Not in a scoop shop on Martha’s Vineyard, but like in a SE DC McDonald’s. They will learn a lot about how the real world works, and appreciate the needs of others/people outside of your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I realize that I grew up in a very privileged life in the DC area. Everyone I know when to the local privates or the highly ranked publics. Everyone went to college at least or has multiple degrees. Everyone has at least 400k in savings and a 200k job by the time they're thirty. Everyone has a lavish wedding. Everyone buys property in desirable zip codes. Everyone is a parent by early thirties. Everyone takes at least 2-3 international trips every year. Everyone has a parent or two who are wealthy and successful.

It is only recently that I realized this isn't...normal and its hard to grasp. How can someone who grew up like this realize what life is like for others who aren't like them?

There are plenty of people in the DMV (actually most people) who are not as privileged/don’t make as much money. Myself included. We just tend to be invisible to people like you OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only in America are you to feel shame for having a normal upper middle class upbringing.

Shame for having a UMC upbringing? Nah. Shame for having your head so far up your arse that you don’t realize that being UMC is not, in fact, the norm? Yeah, you should be ashamed. There is a whole lot of in between poor and UMC.