S/O. What’s the point of potty training so young?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

Nonsense. Do you own stock in diaper producing companies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

THIS THIS THIS.

Same reason for pullups overnight. The companies make a fortune.

Then train your child from birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

Nonsense. Do you own stock in diaper producing companies?

Not nonsense other than your own lack of knowledge of the body muscle functions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

+1-This is true and can easily be found in medical journals and papers on the internet.

[Anonymous]

I would never risk the problems that can occur with training too early.

https://foreverymom.com/family-parenting/dangers-potty-training-too-early-dr-steve-hodges/

[Anonymous]

At my pediatricians, it’s routinely seen on average at the age of 3. Sphincter muscle control does not occur till after the age of 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

I believe before two is too early for most kids. However, I bet you could potty train a one year old if that's basically all you did all day, fulll time attention on that child, as is a nanny's job. Most potty training parents either have a lot of other stuff to do all day as well as caring for the child, or they aren't even with the child most of the day and have to rely on daycare workers to train their child or refuse to train their child, depending on the daycare provider. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against nannies at all, I'm just saying a full time potty trainer would change the game for pretty much all kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

I believe before two is too early for most kids. However, I bet you could potty train a one year old if that's basically all you did all day, fulll time attention on that child, as is a nanny's job. Most potty training parents either have a lot of other stuff to do all day as well as caring for the child, or they aren't even with the child most of the day and have to rely on daycare workers to train their child or refuse to train their child, depending on the daycare provider. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against nannies at all, I'm just saying a full time potty trainer would change the game for pretty much all kids.

It’s bragging rights for Nannie’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is just eight-months-old and we’re first time parents so I honestly do not know. DH was three when he toilet trained and I think I was around the same (my parents are gone).

Aren’t diapers easier?

Shipping your poopy diapers back to China on those barges gives them the opportunity to recycle it. Perhaps stop buying Chinese pacifiers toothbrushes. You have no clue how their using your shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The disposable diaper industry hired some primary care MD to write “the signs of readiness” that became very popular stating to keep kids in disposable diapers until 3. Made billions for them!

No other reason. Prior to the readily available disposable diaper, all kids potty trained around two or earlier.

Yes, disposable diapers are easier for the parents but not better for the kids.

This. I was trained before my sister was born (~12 months). My sister trained before my mom's miscarriage (~12-14 months). My brother trained before 2 so he could go to slp at preschool.

There's zero reason to wait. "Readiness" is made up.

[Anonymous]

When your child is ready, you will know. Both of mine started pretty early (started around 18 months) but it happened in stages---they were able to easily tell us when they had to poop, peeing took a little more time but they got to the point where daytime accidents were pretty rare by 2-2.5. Nighttime took a long time for my older one though-he was still in night pullups into K.

So you just have to read your child and let them lead. I don't think there is an age that works for every kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

+1-This is true and can easily be found in medical journals and papers on the internet.

Nope. Both of mine trained easily before 2 and were using the potty before 1. If you mean by potty training full independence including wiping after poop, that’s later. But many kids at a young age can learn to pee or poop when sitting on a potty. There’s nothing physiologically different about it than peeing or pooping in a diaper, in your pants, on a chair or on the ground. As their caregiver you can see when they need to go — if you’re attuned there are obvious signs. Then just gently encourage them to sit and hear a story or whatever. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, and if you do it that way they learn to feel their own signals.

[Anonymous]

Basically, there isn’t a point, OP. If it works for you and your kid is receptive, great, do it early. If it doesn’t, then wait.

Don’t be like a friend of mine— basically keeping her 18 month old on a potty for hours and HOURS for weeks on end in an attempt to train her. Miserable for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

+1-This is true and can easily be found in medical journals and papers on the internet.

Nope. Both of mine trained easily before 2 and were using the potty before 1. If you mean by potty training full independence including wiping after poop, that’s later. But many kids at a young age can learn to pee or poop when sitting on a potty. There’s nothing physiologically different about it than peeing or pooping in a diaper, in your pants, on a chair or on the ground. As their caregiver you can see when they need to go — if you’re attuned there are obvious signs. Then just gently encourage them to sit and hear a story or whatever. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, and if you do it that way they learn to feel their own signals.

You do not have medical training or knowledge to counter what the medical community knows. And you inadvertently contradict your own self in two of your statements.
By the way, look up the word physiologically before you attempt again to incorrectly use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - parents today make everything sooo much harder.
Everything. More stress. What is the most stressful way to handle a situation? That is what they will attempt to do and then think/say it's the standard practice.

Just turning 3, they will be potty trained in 2 days.

THAT IS NOT TRUE!! Jesus, stop spreading that lie! I started potty training my DD at exactly three and it took NINE MONTHS. At the voiding clinic where we ended up taking DD for not being able to poop on the potty, the experts said it was because we waited until 3 to toilet train her.

IT IS TRUE!!

My kid trained right before 3, in about a week. He wasn't ready till then. He has a sibling that trained the week they turned 2, in a few days-that child was ready then. Was your dd ready and you 'didn't' train her, or was she not actually ready till age 3. My guess is-if she had issues so severe that you needed a voiding clinic, it wasn't related to a few months difference in training. Sounds like it was physical or developmental.

It is psychological. Some late training kids develop a preference for going in their diaper. You won't know if that is your 3 year old until it is too late. So you get to choose between training a compliant toddler who needs time/help developing the voiding skills vs. gambling on a preschooler being cooperative. I have never met a wilful <18 month old.

I have. My DD

Same. My DD was super independent from very early. DCUM never believes this but when we tried to potty train her at 22 months, it was a disaster in exactly the way people describe training a 3yo. Like the more she realized we wanted her to go on the potty, the more resistant she was.

One thing I learned from my potty training experience though is that it made me realize that you have to take all parenting advice with a massive grain of salt because kids are different and the same approaches don’t work universally.

This is one reason why the special needs forum on DCUM is the best parenting forum— most posters there assume your kid deviates from the norm (this why you are asking strangers for help) instead of berating you because their standard advice isn’t working for your kid.

I agree that kids are different. My kids needed different approaches to potty training but they both still trained at 21 and 22 months. The little one is fiercely independent and Oh Crap naked time didn’t work. Minnie Mouse underpants and her deciding when to use the potty worked.

Well neither Oh Crap naked time nor special underpants or giving her more say worked for us. I remember very distinctly when we were about a month into potty training, we'd identified a big reward for DD that she would get if she went pee in the potty every day for five days. We got to day 5 and were like "Yes, you are doing so awesome! Just one more time today!" And she looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't want it anymore" and refused to sit on the potty every day. And that was 22 months. So....

Maybe some kids are more different than even the two children you are raising who are siblings are? Like maybe there is a much, much broader range than your extremely limited experience with two children? Is it possible?

NP here. I’ve potty trained nine kids from three different families (I’m a nanny) all happily before two. Don’t make excuses. We just kept moving forward and never backward.

Not appropriate physiologically before the age of 2.

+1-This is true and can easily be found in medical journals and papers on the internet.

Nope. Both of mine trained easily before 2 and were using the potty before 1. If you mean by potty training full independence including wiping after poop, that’s later. But many kids at a young age can learn to pee or poop when sitting on a potty. There’s nothing physiologically different about it than peeing or pooping in a diaper, in your pants, on a chair or on the ground. As their caregiver you can see when they need to go — if you’re attuned there are obvious signs. Then just gently encourage them to sit and hear a story or whatever. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, and if you do it that way they learn to feel their own signals.

Most parents are just too busy to be attuned to their child’s needs or readiness indicators.